Is That What It's Really All About??

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Feb 05, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    Are relationships really all about that magical connection and the "spark"? I mean isn't there some sort of skill or way to approach things?

    I just feel like it has to be more, something even deeper that I am missing? I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone and especially gay people. If I do, then it's nice for a little then it fades. icon_confused.gif
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    Feb 05, 2010 5:46 AM GMT
    relationships are about skill, you do need a strong desire for the person (ie, what people call the spark) but maintaining a relationship isn't some magical crap, it takes true hard work and dedication to the person you are with, yourself and the relationship.

    It's not a magical union and it wont be easy, it's not always smooth roads and when you are in a relationship you wont always be happy, it does get rough and sometimes those rough periods seem to continue on for what will feel like an incredibly long time, having said that, those happy times where things just seem to be going right can feel almost magical and you'll feel nothing like it anywhere else.

    And there is no Mr Perfect, you can try and wait for that "one" but he'll never arrive because there isn't that "one" what ever man you find will be just as much flawed as you are, he'll do lots of irritating little things that will drive you nutty sometimes, but, on the whole, if you let them sit aside, you'll find a lot more guys who you'll love then having a massive long list of "deal breakers"
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Feb 05, 2010 5:51 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidAre relationships really all about that magical connection and the "spark"? I mean isn't there some sort of skill or way to approach things?

    I just feel like it has to be more, something even deeper that I am missing? I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone and especially gay people. If I do, then it's nice for a little then it fades. icon_confused.gif



    relationships should happen on their own, not rushed or pushed upon yourself

    if you dont have someone in your life, work on your ownself
    your work, gym, reading, education, culture.....and so forth

    people feel empty and need someone because there lives are empty and got nothing going on
    live a full life, and you will be happy being by yourself
    and that way you will not date just anyone, to be in a relationship

    a person you will meet will become the icing on the cake
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Feb 05, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    [b][quote][cite]Jmuscle33 said[/cite]Are relationships really all about that magical connection and the "spark"? I mean isn't there some sort of skill or way to approach things?

    I just feel like it has to be more, something even deeper that I am missing? I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone and especially gay people. If I do, then it's nice for a little then it fades. icon_confused.gif[/quote[/b
    ]]

    They can begin with a "spark" but for a relationship to sustain itself it does take something deeper. Communication skills help. Perhaps at 20 you just haven't met someone with whom a "relationship" is in the cards. Focus on yourself and being the best you can be and the relationship will likely come along when you least expect it.
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:00 AM GMT
    This. You nailed it.

    (Been reading your posts tonight - new guy here - just discovered this site - and was wondering - I have no right to ask this, but, are you single?)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:17 AM GMT
    Last time there was a "spark", someone farted. It all ended in tears, burnt linens and some minor skin grafts.icon_cry.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Feb 05, 2010 6:45 AM GMT

    spark? fairy tale.

    taking the other person for who they are, right there in front of you? real life.

    let's recap:

    less of this:



    all the more of this - in stride:

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Feb 05, 2010 7:04 AM GMT
    CAJock753 saidThis. You nailed it.

    (Been reading your posts tonight - new guy here - just discovered this site - and was wondering - I have no right to ask this, but, are you single?)




    who me? I am single
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2010 7:24 AM GMT
    Everything that you feel is from a "spark" within yourself. Also, all that you see in others comes from within yourself.

    If you feel that you have nothing in common with others, you have failed to feel and see what is in yourself. If you accept fully what is in yourself, then you can accept what is in others.

    If all you see in others is darkness, it is because that is what is in you.

    The loneliest man is the one that does not really know himself. No meaningful relationship can thrive without connection. If you know all that is "you" then you know all that is "other" ..that is connection and that is relationship.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Feb 05, 2010 7:32 AM GMT
    It's sticking with someone regardless of their many faults (as long as they don't overwhelm the relationship).

    It's giving more than 50%, all the time, and being happy to do it.

    It's being glad he's there, when you come through the door.

    It's living with somebody who's easy to be around.

    It's having someone who truly cares about you.



    I just described the typical man / dog relationship...
    LOL.