This is beyond fucked up... what do I do?

  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Feb 05, 2010 5:47 AM GMT
    Ok the story starts about a year ago. I get a message on here from a guy in Tucson saying, "I want you to fuck me so hard... ect". I ignore it, like I do all messages like this and I get another saying, "Dude I'm totally not like that can we start over?" My response, "Umm no". So he still messages me from time to time and I ignore it as usual. Then I'm home for spring break or something last year and I throw a party at my parents house. He shows up with my ex gf!
    The same ex who is in my picture on realjock.

    I pull her aside and was like how the fuck do you know that kid? She said, "Oh, i don't know he came up to me on campus one day and started talking to me. We've never hung out before but he texts me all the time. He asked what I was doing and said I was going to my friend Dylan's party and he wanted to come so he did." I go through the entire party pretending like I have no idea who he is and I locked my door when I was going to bed.

    Second encounter. I used to have what gym I go to on my profile but took it off because I'm swimming laps at the gym like I do everyday and I look up and guess who the new lifeguard is... yea.

    TONIGHT: I'm sitting in my living room talking to one of my roommates and guess who walks in.. the creep. He comes up to me and introduces himself and say you look really familiar, do you swim at ______? I said, "Nope" went into my room and shut the door. When I heard him leave I came out and went through the story with my 3rd roommate and was like how do you know him? Oh I met him at a party. He wanted to stop by for some reason and I couldn't figure out why.

    This guy is cyber-stalking me to find everyone I know and then using them to meet me. What the fuck. I don't even know what to do.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Feb 05, 2010 7:04 AM GMT
    Come on! Who else has dealt with stalkers?
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    Feb 05, 2010 7:11 AM GMT
    I'm glad I can honestly say I have never dealt with a stalker. But hey your hott, so you cant blame him for being persistent.

    You probably need to tell him next time he "pops" up to get fuck out of you face and leave you alone, other wise you gonna report him to the police. Maybe that will get through to him.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Feb 05, 2010 7:53 AM GMT
    Wow. Sounds worse than mine. If you want some advice you can check the thread I had posted, its still pretty recent titled "Turning someone down"


    Some of the advice was helpful.

    Good luck
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Feb 05, 2010 8:16 AM GMT
    Yea I sent him a message over facebook telling him it wasn't ok and he needs to stop... he's denying he's gay and says he has no idea what I'm talking about.

    this is from a message he sent the first day ever talking to me:

    "---- FROM collegehottie89 Feb 19, 2009 at 10:40 PM
    I am going to be straight up honest with you, I get this certain type of feeling when I talk to you that I have never felt before. How was your day today? I think I seen you at the Rec. yesterday if that was you but, I am too shy to say anything. How was your day?

    ---- FROM DrobUA Feb 19, 2009 at 10:54 PM
    fine. Haha I don't think you can feel anything when you've never met me

    I can If I feel it, because It is just the type of person I am but If you don't want to talk to me I understand. Really, I don't want to hold people against their will. I asked about your day and you just say "fine" . That sounds like you don't want to talk I really do want to get to know more about you if you don't mind. I know you don't hook up over the internet but i would still like to know your interest and favorites?"

    His profile no longer exists.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Feb 05, 2010 2:55 PM GMT
    it's called a restraining order
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    Feb 05, 2010 2:57 PM GMT
    calibro saidit's called a restraining order


    I was going to say this myself.
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    Feb 05, 2010 2:58 PM GMT
    calibro saidit's called a restraining order


    totally agree. nuff said.
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    Yup. Careful with mental cases like this. Seriously.

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    Feb 05, 2010 3:05 PM GMT
    calibro saidit's called a restraining order



    Nothing but a piece of paper.


    Has the guy still been talking to you since he deleted his profile?
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    Oh get over yourselves, bitches. The kid is a closet case and he found someone on a gay website who might be the only gay guy he's ever encountered in the Gay Mecca of Tuscon and shockingly, he responded first with hormones and then regretted it (something you would all admit to doing at lease once or a hundred times if you'd get off your soapboxes).

    You've turned this guy into a stalker in your own mind when he was/is probably just trying to make a connection with someone he can rightfully assume puffs pickle.

    Rest assured, there will eventually come a day when nobody gives two shits if you're gay or interested in them, but seriously. Get over yourself and stop assuming that he's writing his first name + your last name to pass the long hours between sightings. He's probably spending more time trying to figure out why you're being such a dick.
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:08 PM GMT
    Not sure his actions so far meet the legal threshold for a restraining order, but wouldn't hurt to ask a local attorney. I've only been stalked online, never in person, so no personal experience to share, though much of the advice in this thread seems to make sense to me.
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    badmikeyt saidOh get over yourselves, bitches. The kid is a closet case and he found someone on a gay website who might be the only gay guy he's ever encountered in the Gay Mecca of Tuscon and shockingly, he responded first with homones and then regretted it (something you would all admit to doing at lease once or a hundred times if you'd get off your soapboxes).

    You've turned this guy into a stalker in your own mind when he was/is probably just trying to make a connection with someone he can rightfully assume puffs pickle.

    Rest assured, there will eventually come a day when nobody gives two shits if you're gay or interested in them, but seriously. Get over yourself and stop assuming that he's writing his first name + your last name to pass the long hours between sightings. He's probably spending more time trying to figure out why you're being such a dick.



    Nah, the dude has crossed the line. Anything he does after the first "um... no" is too much. DRob has to use more forceful language, and follow through with serious action. The kid may not be malicious, he may in fact be harmless like you said. But unless DRob isn't telling us the whole story (no reason to think he isn't), what the kid has done is creepy enough to put me on the offensive.

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    Feb 05, 2010 3:17 PM GMT
    djdorchester said
    badmikeyt saidOh get over yourselves, bitches. The kid is a closet case and he found someone on a gay website who might be the only gay guy he's ever encountered in the Gay Mecca of Tuscon and shockingly, he responded first with homones and then regretted it (something you would all admit to doing at lease once or a hundred times if you'd get off your soapboxes).

    You've turned this guy into a stalker in your own mind when he was/is probably just trying to make a connection with someone he can rightfully assume puffs pickle.

    Rest assured, there will eventually come a day when nobody gives two shits if you're gay or interested in them, but seriously. Get over yourself and stop assuming that he's writing his first name + your last name to pass the long hours between sightings. He's probably spending more time trying to figure out why you're being such a dick.



    Nah, the dude has crossed the line. Anything he does after the first "um... no" is too much. DRob has to use more forceful language, and follow through with serious action. The kid may not be malicious, he may in fact be harmless like you said. But unless DRob isn't telling us the whole story (no reason to think he isn't), what the kid has done is creepy enough to put me on the offensive.



    I disagree. Nobody's perfect - he made a classic stupid mistake, the OP has never actually had a conversation with him, yet he's a stalker worthy of a restraining order? Please.
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    badmikeyt said
    djdorchester said
    badmikeyt saidOh get over yourselves, bitches. The kid is a closet case and he found someone on a gay website who might be the only gay guy he's ever encountered in the Gay Mecca of Tuscon and shockingly, he responded first with homones and then regretted it (something you would all admit to doing at lease once or a hundred times if you'd get off your soapboxes).

    You've turned this guy into a stalker in your own mind when he was/is probably just trying to make a connection with someone he can rightfully assume puffs pickle.

    Rest assured, there will eventually come a day when nobody gives two shits if you're gay or interested in them, but seriously. Get over yourself and stop assuming that he's writing his first name + your last name to pass the long hours between sightings. He's probably spending more time trying to figure out why you're being such a dick.



    Nah, the dude has crossed the line. Anything he does after the first "um... no" is too much. DRob has to use more forceful language, and follow through with serious action. The kid may not be malicious, he may in fact be harmless like you said. But unless DRob isn't telling us the whole story (no reason to think he isn't), what the kid has done is creepy enough to put me on the offensive.



    I disagree. Nobody's perfect - he made a classic stupid mistake, the OP has never actually had a conversation with him, yet he's a stalker worthy of a restraining order? Please.



    Yea you're probably right about it at this point. But I would still tell him more forcefully to fuck off and if that doesn't do the trick, well... have a Plan B.

    Disclaimer: I've never been stalked, cyber or otherwise. So I may not have a friggin clue what I'm talking about.

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    Feb 05, 2010 3:27 PM GMT
    Wow. I guess it's a small world there in Tucson! icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    Yeah I had one...but was female. You said he was a lifeguard where you swim? Report his behavior to a higher up where he works - the higher the better. Make sure all of your friends know about him and they also can help field you from him. Good luck man!
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    I'd be a bit freaked out. Luckily nobody's really stalked me before... been really persistent on IM but that's quickly remedied with a block.

    Um, yeah that sounds a bit too close for comfort, coming uninvited into your house and stuff. Maybe tell your closest friends that there's something unsettling about this guy, so if he targets them then maybe they'll have a clue...?

    He might just want to be acknowledged though, in which case I can sympathise
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    Feb 05, 2010 3:54 PM GMT
    Drob, I'm guessing that you live on campus with a shared livingroom. Is this right?

    I also think you should sit the man down and talk to him. Telling him that the concept of kissing would be just like kissing your grandmother should stop him in his tracks.

    -Doug of meninlove

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    Feb 05, 2010 3:54 PM GMT
    Sounds like love to me.

    This is the age of personal information shared over the interwebs, it shouldn't be so surprising.
  • Akula

    Posts: 130

    Feb 05, 2010 3:57 PM GMT
    you may want to get a restraining order, a similar thing happened to me the looser ended up vandilizing my truck and kept calling the house didn't matter what I said. I found out later he had 3 or 4 restraining orders on him in Seattle thats why he moved to Tacoma. Thankfuly now he's some were in the midwest, he still calls but now we just turn on the fax machine.
  • theONLYallan

    Posts: 69

    Feb 05, 2010 4:01 PM GMT
    go find yourself a hotter friend and pass him off as their problem. icon_idea.gif
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    Feb 05, 2010 4:01 PM GMT
    There is no way that a judge with a functioning brain would issue a restraining order. Jesus people, are you scared of your own shadows?
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    Feb 05, 2010 4:09 PM GMT
    DrobUA saidOk the story starts about a year ago. I get a message on here from a guy in Tucson saying, "I want you to fuck me so hard... ect". I ignore it, like I do all messages like this and I get another saying, "Dude I'm totally not like that can we start over?" My response, "Umm no". So he still messages me from time to time and I ignore it as usual. Then I'm home for spring break or something last year and I throw a party at my parents house. He shows up with my ex gf!
    The same ex who is in my picture on realjock.

    I pull her aside and was like how the fuck do you know that kid? She said, "Oh, i don't know he came up to me on campus one day and started talking to me. We've never hung out before but he texts me all the time. He asked what I was doing and said I was going to my friend Dylan's party and he wanted to come so he did." I go through the entire party pretending like I have no idea who he is and I locked my door when I was going to bed.

    Second encounter. I used to have what gym I go to on my profile but took it off because I'm swimming laps at the gym like I do everyday and I look up and guess who the new lifeguard is... yea.

    TONIGHT: I'm sitting in my living room talking to one of my roommates and guess who walks in.. the creep. He comes up to me and introduces himself and say you look really familiar, do you swim at ______? I said, "Nope" went into my room and shut the door. When I heard him leave I came out and went through the story with my 3rd roommate and was like how do you know him? Oh I met him at a party. He wanted to stop by for some reason and I couldn't figure out why.

    This guy is cyber-stalking me to find everyone I know and then using them to meet me. What the fuck. I don't even know what to do.


    Block him. Ignore him. If he physically scares you, get a restraining order. Otherwise, get on with your life. If you want to make it a civil legal matter, though, you need to have a bit of evidence showing he is encroaching upon you.

    Sounds to me like the biggest problem is in your mind's eye. I'd chill about it.
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    Feb 05, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    SoCalNerd saidI'm glad I can honestly say I have never dealt with a stalker. But hey your hott, so you cant blame him for being persistent...


    Yes you can. No means no.