Changed attitude, now that I've lost over a 100 lbs.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2008 5:17 AM GMT
    I've lost 100 lbs. in 5 months with diet and exercise, when I started I was 265 lbs and 5'5" tall. My partner now has started worrying I'm cheating on him, I'm not, he told me once he loved me and looked past the weight issue, he said he still loves me, but he's noticed a change in me. I wear tighter clothes, and wearing cologne. I'm taking better care of myself because I've lost so much weight, we went out to a Levi bar, and both of us got hit on, not just him as was in the past. I'd never cheat on him. So my question is how can I get his confidence level back up, he's 44 has a great body, he's been working out with me, he didn't have that much to lose, I've never worried that he was cheating on me. Is this going to get worse, I haven't even hit my weight goal yet, what happens when I'm 135 lbs. He didn't ask me to lose the weight, its part of what I'm going to school for at age 50, and working out with guys who are in their early 20's, has really helped me change both in attitude and appearance. Give me some advice here please?
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jan 14, 2008 9:39 AM GMT
    Congratulations on making such big changes John and keep up the good work.

    Your partner sounds like a lovely man who obviously loves you.

    It's quite natural that he should feel a little insecure by your new look and appeal. However given time he will get used to it and come to see it has a good reflection on him that he can land a great looking guy like you.

    Until he comes to terms with the changes though you may want to be reassuring to him and compliment him more than you would normally do. Not in an over the top way, but just to show him that even though your appearance is changing, your feelings for him aren't and he's still the number one guy for you.

    Good Luck

    Lozx
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 14, 2008 11:49 AM GMT
    Congrats on the weightloss...
    but you got a problem with the BF
    You have to remember that for all the years you were together you looked and acted a certain way

    and now all of thats changed
    and YOU ARE a different person
    He has to come to terms with it....it's not you who has to help him get a grip --- he has to do it himself
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2008 6:51 PM GMT
    Barry Manilow sings "life changes..." or some shit like that.
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    Jan 15, 2008 5:43 AM GMT
    Great Job on loosing all that weight,...here's what I think, sit down and have a talk with him and tell him your still crazy in love with him, rekindle the sparks. What did you guys do when you both saw each other and knew he was the one for you? Candle light dinner, walk on the beach? What did you or he did for you that make you feel special? icon_smile.gif

    wish u guys the best icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 15, 2008 6:27 AM GMT
    Play him 'Don't Change' by Musiq.

    The music video is on youtube. Quite touching if I may say.
  • Alan95823

    Posts: 306

    Jan 15, 2008 6:47 AM GMT
    Change is always scary. Maybe as you're losing weight, he's feeling like he might be losing part of you. Jump his bones more often than normal, and he won't worry that he might be losing you.

    Sex isn't the answer to everything, but sometimes it's the next best thing ;)
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    Jan 15, 2008 7:17 PM GMT
    Sounds like maybe he has self esteem issues. Now that you have lost weight and gained sex appeal he feels he is no longer good enough. Id say stroke his ego on a more than normal amount until his esteem comes up to par. Building esteem is like building a body. They both take time. 10 sets of compliments followed by 10 sets of kisses.