Old to Older

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2010 12:49 PM GMT
    My friend is dating a guy thats 53 years of age and i mean his age shows..not like the hot older gents on this site......he is controlling and constantly rings my boys cellphone like every half and hour. My friend says he really likes the guy...ive told him hes crazy for even dating a 53 year old when hes only 22. I just think thats wrong and its like pointless. As for one, what could it be that they both have in common....and they are in different stages of life. So my question to the younger crowd on here.....how old is too old?
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    Feb 05, 2010 12:57 PM GMT
    He likes the guy so what fucking business is it of yours anyways who he's going with other than you're a meddling old woman.
    Learn to mind your own business first and man up as Judge Joe would say.
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    Feb 05, 2010 1:27 PM GMT
    he asked me whats the best decision to make since the guy is a little controlling and wants to know his every move.....and not really secure in believing that my friend is just solely into him...To the point where hes now regretting dating him. Which makes me ask the question..if your older..why would you want to date someone thats twice young your age...and then feel insecure about dating them?
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    Feb 05, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    Embellishing the original post "after the fact" Not good..

    But to be nice cause I am really. Age has nothing to do with a person being controlling.. The boyfriend could be 18 or 25 and constantly haranguing your friend to the point of insanity because he's insecure. So it's the same question without a definitive answer,, why would they do it as well.

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    Feb 05, 2010 2:15 PM GMT
    id date any age as long as he took care of himself... and its all about personal choice no1 is hurting anyone here
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    Feb 05, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidMy friend is dating a guy thats 53 years of age.....he is controlling and constantly rings my boys cellphone like every half and hour. My friend says he really likes the guy...ive told him hes crazy for even dating a 53 year old when hes only 22. I just think thats wrong and its like pointless. As for one, what could it be that they both have in common....and they are in different stages of life. So my question to the younger crowd on here.....how old is too old?


    That doesn't have anything to do with age, but, everything to do with having a dysfunctional relationship. I'm afraid you're confused here.

    Constantly confirming that person is still there is part of a "needy" relationship, and, while it doesn't happen as often in more mature folks, it still does happen. That's something that you'd expect from someone much younger.

    There are many relationships, especially among men, where there's a wide age difference. Lots of young gay men lack self-esteem, and seek guidance, mentorship, mental and financial support. Many young gay men behave like total fairies because they somehow think that's what their identity should be given their sexual preference. Sometimes, those guys want to be around a well adjusted person, and shown how to properly behave and to like themselves, and to find their own identity.

    I know some young gay men that want nothing to do with the young fairies their age, and PREFER more level headed, decent-acting, older guys.

    Folks can be creepy at ANY AGE.

    There are clearly differences in culture with each generation, but, there's also many things that tie folks together, too. Common interests in occupation and recreation are often the case. E.g. the older guy has a boat, and the younger guy loves to water ski. The older guy likes to share, and enjoys the companionship and the younger likes having fun. It's that simple many times.
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    Feb 05, 2010 4:20 PM GMT
    Geesh now the original poster is emailing me to CHECK MY FACTS before I answer because he said his friend asked him.. Okay folks where in his original post does he say his friend asked him about the relationship with the older guy.. It doesn't so I told him he should mind his own business and stop meddling in other peoples affairs.
    It's only in his subsequent post after my initial reply about 40 minutes later that he adds "his friend asked him"


    If anyones trying to be "controlling" I'd say it's the OP over his friends affairs, that or jealousy

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    Feb 05, 2010 4:44 PM GMT
    beneful1 said
    If anyones trying to be "controlling" I'd say it's the OP over his friends affairs, that or jealousy



    AGREED!

    age is nothing, but a number...
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    Feb 05, 2010 4:55 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidhe asked me whats the best decision to make since the guy is a little controlling and wants to know his every move.....and not really secure in believing that my friend is just solely into him...To the point where hes now regretting dating him. Which makes me ask the question..if your older..why would you want to date someone thats twice young your age...and then feel insecure about dating them?


    Do you really want to know the God honest truth?

    Because the 53 year old man is a pervert with pedophilic tendencies.

    Simple really.
  • swimjohn

    Posts: 252

    Feb 05, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    Note to self: Never ask a question about age on here or I will be killed by the RJ community.

    I am actually going to defend the op here. I understand what everyone is saying about how someone can be controling at any age, and that age really doesn't matter, and that is true. But we are here to help him and answer his question, if you think he is false or lying don't attack him, just don't reply.

    It sounds to me like you all are saying that older men are good for stability and finding youself, well according to the op his friends bf is not that at all. He is controling and not helping the op's friend be more stable.

    So in my opinion, yes older men can be good for stability, but in this case he is definately not one of those who are good for the younger guy.



    [quote][cite]chuckystud said

    There are clearly differences in culture with each generation, but, there's also many things that tie folks together, too. Common interests in occupation and recreation are often the case. E.g. the older guy has a boat, and the younger guy loves to water ski. The older guy likes to share, and enjoys the companionship and the younger likes having fun. It's that simple many times.[/quote]



    Oh by the way, that's a sugar daddy you're talking about. Buying a younger guy with a boat? really???
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    Feb 05, 2010 5:16 PM GMT
    edbert saidThis forum made me laugh, i am 59, and my bf of 2 yrs is 21, and i know the odds of it working out between us was pretty slim, but it has, and our time together has been both rewarding and enjoyable for both of us. Both of our friends, mine being older guys and his being younger don't understand it but at least respect it when we spend time with them. But what made me smile was that he is the one who is always calling me, many times a day, and has a bit of a controlling nature, but we work it out. I don't know what the future will bring, but dam, the last couple years have been great, and i have no regrets, Have a great day everbody



    WTF!!!!!!!!! all i can say is that you should be glad that boy isn't my son
  • swimjohn

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    Feb 05, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    Blondizgd said
    edbert saidThis forum made me laugh, i am 59, and my bf of 2 yrs is 21, and i know the odds of it working out between us was pretty slim, but it has, and our time together has been both rewarding and enjoyable for both of us. Both of our friends, mine being older guys and his being younger don't understand it but at least respect it when we spend time with them. But what made me smile was that he is the one who is always calling me, many times a day, and has a bit of a controlling nature, but we work it out. I don't know what the future will bring, but dam, the last couple years have been great, and i have no regrets, Have a great day everbody



    WTF!!!!!!!!! all i can say is that you should be glad that boy isn't my son



    exactly. whenever I hear about stuff like that I'm like....he's older than my dad. Or he would be better friends with my dad than me...but I guess some people just like different things.
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    Feb 05, 2010 5:27 PM GMT
    swimjohn69 said
    Blondizgd said
    edbert saidThis forum made me laugh, i am 59, and my bf of 2 yrs is 21, and i know the odds of it working out between us was pretty slim, but it has, and our time together has been both rewarding and enjoyable for both of us. Both of our friends, mine being older guys and his being younger don't understand it but at least respect it when we spend time with them. But what made me smile was that he is the one who is always calling me, many times a day, and has a bit of a controlling nature, but we work it out. I don't know what the future will bring, but dam, the last couple years have been great, and i have no regrets, Have a great day everbody



    WTF!!!!!!!!! all i can say is that you should be glad that boy isn't my son



    exactly. whenever I hear about stuff like that I'm like....he's older than my dad. Or he would be better friends with my dad than me...but I guess some people just like different things.


    Some people are perverse and perverted and have absolutely no ethical standards. It is simply a case of it feels good to me I do it.

    It disgusts me. And you should run like a bat out of hell from them.

    For shit sake he's old enough to be this guy's grand father! ugh!
  • keetz

    Posts: 11

    Feb 05, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    I'm 48 and I'm seeing a guy who is 19. We are both into it and are having a good time. Text every day and when we are together it is very pleasurable for both of us.

    I don't know what the future holds; I never get to know that, so why not play today. The future will come soon enough. My friends are very supportive and I ask them for honest candor about my own actions and choices. They took away my credit card so I can't rent a u-haul! icon_wink.gif

    I think it's terrific that your friend is asking you for support and is trying to reason things out with you, and it's great that you are there for him. I too would be concerned with the constant phone calls and needing to know your pals comings and goings.

    That said, even at 22, he is an adult and gets to do what he wants to do, so let him. If he complains about the the guy, then point out he is complaining a lot. And speak up when it looks like it might be an unsafe situation.

    Life is short, so do fun things. I personally know that older guys are pretty hot!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2010 5:45 PM GMT
    Old people need love too. Some day, if you are lucky, you too will be old icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2010 5:49 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidSo my question to the younger crowd on here.....how old is too old?

    Sorry, I don't qualify to give you advice. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    I'll bet you a million bucks that the young guy is black and the older guy is white...yup I said it.

    For the record, I think its "unnatural" and wrong for someone to fuck and date someone from a completly different generation. The older pervert...I mean person is being selfishness and the younger guy is being inmature and probably has low self-esteem.

    53 year old guy with a 22 year old guy... its just wrong.

    There are plenty of hot 50 year olds, and 42 year olds for the older guy to date. All this crap about having a "connection" is BS. You can't possibly be equals, "compatible" or connected with a guy who is so much younger or older. If so, there is true disfunction in both of them
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    oooh, I love a good bitch fight on the boards.

    What's the problem? They're both consenting adults and are enjoying each other's company. Does the younger guy call him Daddy? icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:21 PM GMT
    _Brandon said
    Blondizgd saidDo you really want to know the God honest truth?...Because the 53 year old man is a pervert with pedophilic tendencies.
    Simple really.

    Pedophilic tendencies???... I'm sorry!... but "only you" to make me laugh!!!icon_lol.gif...cos this is the most stupid thing I ever heard!!!...cos in your sick point of view "a 53 y old man can not have any realtionship "sex or whatever" with a 22 y old guy"icon_rolleyes.gif cos if he do that... he is in your twisted mind: "a pervet with pedophilic tentencies!"...how clever you're!..."22 y old...but underage!!!"...God help me!,lol

    My album


    So answer me this: you who according to your profile is 35 years old.
    would you have a sexual relationship with someone who is 14? How about someone who is 15 or 16? How about someone who is 17?
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:23 PM GMT
    muscletapper saidI'll bet you a million bucks that the young guy is black and the old guy is white...



    What??? What kind of ridiculous theory is this?

    huh.jpeg
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:25 PM GMT
    Blondizgd said
    _Brandon said
    Blondizgd saidDo you really want to know the God honest truth?...Because the 53 year old man is a pervert with pedophilic tendencies.
    Simple really.

    Pedophilic tendencies???... I'm sorry!... but "only you" to make me laugh!!!icon_lol.gif...cos this is the most stupid thing I ever heard!!!...cos in your sick point of view "a 53 y old man can not have any realtionship "sex or whatever" with a 22 y old guy"icon_rolleyes.gif cos if he do that... he is in your twisted mind: "a pervet with pedophilic tentencies!"...how clever you're!..."22 y old...but underage!!!"...God help me!,lol



    So answer me this: you who according to your profile is 35 years old.
    would you have a sexual relationship with someone who is 14? How about someone who is 15 or 16? How about someone who is 17?

    What is wrong with you? Twenty-two is not a minor. Fourteen is.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Feb 05, 2010 6:27 PM GMT
    Blondizgd said

    So answer me this: you who according to your profile is 35 years old.
    would you have a sexual relationship with someone who is 14? How about someone who is 15 or 16? How about someone who is 17?



    Surely you can see the difference between an older guy dating another "adult" who may be significantly younger, and dating a mid-teenager still in high school and living with parents? Sorry, but there is a difference. When two consenting ADULTS are involved it really only matters if there is chemistry and good communication between them at the end of the day.
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:41 PM GMT
    "There are many relationships, especially among men, where there's a wide age difference. Lots of young gay men lack self-esteem, and seek guidance, mentorship, mental and financial support."

    I think there are benefits for both in an older/younger relationship. It’s very ancient Greek.
    The younger man may gain some knowledge and wisdom from the older man. He may also get his world rocked by a man with a few decades worth of sexual experience.icon_razz.gif
    I’m sure the older man may enjoy having a young man during a period when their own youth is fading. A young body and spirit. That’s typical for many males. The older man also has a sexual dynamo loving him. They can wear eachother out!icon_biggrin.gif

    If they have feelings for eachother, that’s nobody’s business but theirs.

    But I do notice a hint of dysfunction in the OP’s friends relationship.
    Hmmm…I can see why the older guy may be insecure. He may be afraid the 22 yr. old will find someone else closer to his age. The older man may be very happy. Nobody wants to have their heart broken. But maybe I’m projecting.



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    Feb 05, 2010 6:45 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    Blondizgd said

    So answer me this: you who according to your profile is 35 years old.
    would you have a sexual relationship with someone who is 14? How about someone who is 15 or 16? How about someone who is 17?



    Surely you can see the difference between an older guy dating another "adult" who may be significantly younger, and dating a mid-teenager still in high school and living with parents? Sorry, but there is a difference. When two consenting ADULTS are involved it really only matters if there is chemistry and good communication between them at the end of the day.


    See what I mean about you not being full of wit? You talk such shit sometimes!

    Is it not at all obvious to you that there is little difference in terms of maturity between someone who is 17 and someone who is 19? Is it not at all obvious to you that this line of demarcation between adulthood and child is an artificial construct? Do you think there is some magical change that occurs when 17th year + 1 day is crossed?

    If you think that someone who is 19 is an adult and mature then what the fuck is someone who is 60? eh sorry 59 years old? What, has this person stop maturing when they reached 22?

    Maturiy occurs hopefully as we grow older. And the average person maturing- all things being equal - there is and will be a universe of differences in maturity levels between someone who is 60 and someone who is 22. That will automatically rule out the person of 22 being on the same wavelength to be found attractive by the person of 60. If a person of such an advanced age can find a person of such a tender years enticing - then watch out! That old pervert is seriously damaged! And I would not have him around any young'uns .... well not without my cattle prod being handy...

    And if age is just a number and has nothing to do with maturity levels, why don't we go about and fuck with guys who are 13, 14,15 or 16. Heck after all age is just a number and if the chemistry is there... well, that's all that matters

    But I will say once again... you are sort of purty though...
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    Feb 05, 2010 6:50 PM GMT
    djdorchester said
    Blondizgd said
    _Brandon said
    Blondizgd saidDo you really want to know the God honest truth?...Because the 53 year old man is a pervert with pedophilic tendencies.
    Simple really.

    Pedophilic tendencies???... I'm sorry!... but "only you" to make me laugh!!!icon_lol.gif...cos this is the most stupid thing I ever heard!!!...cos in your sick point of view "a 53 y old man can not have any realtionship "sex or whatever" with a 22 y old guy"icon_rolleyes.gif cos if he do that... he is in your twisted mind: "a pervet with pedophilic tentencies!"...how clever you're!..."22 y old...but underage!!!"...God help me!,lol



    So answer me this: you who according to your profile is 35 years old.
    would you have a sexual relationship with someone who is 14? How about someone who is 15 or 16? How about someone who is 17?

    What is wrong with you? Twenty-two is not a minor. Fourteen is.


    Sigh - Oh you are too young ...

    Tell you what. Let's revisit this when you turn 45. If I'm still around and still interested in the topic.