another nun/priest joke...this one is funny!

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Feb 07, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    a nun and a priest were traveling thru the dessert on the back of a huge camel.

    on the second day of their journey the camel bellowed twice, rolled on it's side and died.

    the priest said to the nun "we are in dire straights here. we could possibly die".

    "yes, father, i fear you are correct" the nun replied. "let up pray for deliverance".

    2 hours later the priest said "sister, it looks like we may be joining the Lord soon. since we are close to death.....i have never seen adult female breasts. may i see yours?"

    "the nun replied "father, i have never seen an erect male penis. i'll show you mine if i can see yours".

    they both flashed each other.

    the priest then said "sister, my penis can be life giving if inserted in the right place".

    the nun replied "oh yeh? then stick it in this camel and let's get the hell out of here!"

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    Feb 07, 2010 5:47 PM GMT
    LOL, I don't think sticking into camel will take him to heaven.
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    Feb 07, 2010 6:06 PM GMT
    So, two nuns were walking to town through the woods, when they were attacked and raped.

    After it was over, they were putting their habits and wimples back on, and one nun says, "Sister, how are we going to tell Mother Superior that we were raped twice?"

    The second nun says, "Sister, what do you mean? We were only raped once."

    To which the first nun replies, "Well, we're coming back this way, aren't we?"
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    Feb 07, 2010 6:39 PM GMT

    Long ago, two nuns were visiting Canada from old Latvia. They walked the beach, took in the sights, and ate popcorn. Then they bought hot-dogs and sat on a beach to have them. One opened hers up, hesitated, and asked the other, "What part of the dog did you get?"


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    Feb 07, 2010 6:58 PM GMT
    Four nuns were killed in a bus crash and arrived at the gates of St. Peter so they could get into heaven.

    Upon arrival, St. Peter asked the first nun to confess any sin, to which she replied " I must confess I have seen a man's penis. St. Peter said "Thank you Sister. Please say 10 hail Mary's and wash out your eyes in the Holy water and you may proceed into heaven.

    St. Peter then asked the second nun to confess any sin. The second nun replied " I must confess I have touched a man's penis. St. Peter said " Thank you Sister. Please say 10 hail Mary's and wash your hands in the Holy water and you may proceed into heaven.

    St. Peter then asked the third nun to confess any sin. Just as she was about to confess her sin the fourth nun violently pushed the third nun out of the way and said to St. Peter, " If you think that I'm going to wash out my mouth out in the holy water after the third nun cleans her ass out with it you are crazy !! "

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    Feb 07, 2010 11:11 PM GMT
    Two nuns were driving on a dark road in Transylvania when a vampire jumped out in front of their car. The Mother Superior lent over to the other nun and said, "Quick! Show him your cross!"
    The other nun opened the window and yelled, "OI! GET OFF THE ROAD!"
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    Feb 07, 2010 11:15 PM GMT
    what's the only kind of meat a priest will eat on friday?


    nun
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    Feb 07, 2010 11:18 PM GMT
    What's the difference between Acne and a Catholic priest?

    Acne waits until the boy is 13 to come all over his face.
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    Feb 07, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
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    the nun replied "oh yeh? then stick it in this camel and let's get the hell out of here!
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    Feb 08, 2010 12:00 AM GMT
    Once a nun went to a doctor for a regular visit. She is called back to doctor's office with some news. She goes through a long discussion. Then finally after three hours goes to church, kneels before the lord and says "
    Oh god, now we can't even trust a candle". icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 08, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    Here's one of my dad's...

    Why do nuns always travel in pairs?

    To make sure one nun don't get none!
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    Feb 08, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    asnextdoor saidOnce a nun went to a doctor for a regular visit. She is called back to doctor's office with some news. She goes through a long discussion. Then finally after three hours goes to church, kneels before the lord and says "
    Oh god, now we can't even trust a candle". icon_smile.gif





    icon_redface.gif


    Could some body please explain this one to me ?
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    Mar 22, 2010 5:18 AM GMT
    she fucked herself with a candle