Whats the truth about lying??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 12:59 AM GMT
    So, I have this friend, who is a pathological-liar. He literally lies about EVERYTHING and the part that I don't understand, is that its all completely unnecessary. I could understand if someone was lying to try and make someone feel better or for good reasons, they hide the truth. But this guy just lies about stupid things like:

    1) Having sex with certain people
    2) Whether or not he KNOWS someone
    3) Knowing things he knows NOTHING about
    4) Future plans that will never happen

    My list goes on and on....and my question is, is why?? Why do you lie, when it is so obvious that you ARE lying and everyone knows it??

    Do you guys have reasons for lying about stupid things?? It might help shed light on whats wrong with my friend....haha
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    Feb 09, 2010 1:13 AM GMT
    People lie for different reasons. Mostly for personal gain. But also to feel self-important. They also tend to exaggerate or embellish truthful things. Again, just to be in the spotlight of attention.

    I think you should call out your friend on his lies. Let him know that it's not ok to lie. Because eventually, those lies will catch up with him.. and anyone else that is associated with him.
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    Feb 09, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    omg I had a friend like that ahahahah. It was soo funny because she though she was good at lying but she wasn't.

    My Favorite lie that she did was the "omg I know that guy!?"

    We went to the mall because I had to turn in my application for Forever 21 and when we walked by the store she saw the guy she said that she knew folding T-shirts. She got all exciting and said to me " omg it's matty!!! I love matty he is so nice and blah blah blah blah". When I told her that I had to go into the store to drop the app off she had this look on her face icon_eek.gif. So, I walk up to him and ask for the manager. I was waiting for her to say something to him and when she did that's when it all fellllll apart ahahahahah.

    When we walked out the store I could not stop laughing. I told her "girl! you need to stop acting like you know people when you don't iddgipdgahahahaha!!"

    He had the "who the fuck is this girl" look on his face the whole time.


    I think people lie to either:

    A. Impress people
    B. They're just plain stupid
    C. or it's a really bad habit




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    Mythomaniacs cant stop lying about everything.
    Its hard to know the line between mythomania and people lying just for the sake of it...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    Hmm...sounds like your friend is a bit deficient in the integrity department.

    Why are you still friends with this guy?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 1:51 AM GMT
    My ex was like this. He is a mythomanic. Its really a ploy to increase attention his way.
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    Feb 09, 2010 2:56 AM GMT
    ...perhaps low self-esteem?
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    Feb 09, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    Hoodiestud saidSo, I have this friend, who is a pathological-liar. He literally lies about EVERYTHING and the part that I don't understand, is that its all completely unnecessary. I could understand if someone was lying to try and make someone feel better or for good reasons, they hide the truth. But this guy just lies about stupid things like:

    1) Having sex with certain people
    2) Whether or not he KNOWS someone
    3) Knowing things he knows NOTHING about
    4) Future plans that will never happen

    My list goes on and on....and my question is, is why?? Why do you lie, when it is so obvious that you ARE lying and everyone knows it??

    Do you guys have reasons for lying about stupid things?? It might help shed light on whats wrong with my friend....haha



    Often these lies are used to boost himself up. I'm guessing inside he's really an insecure person using the lies to masks his insecurities. So, 1 by lying about having sex with certain people, he is saying that he is physically desirable 2 Whether or not he knows somoene, he is socailly accepted 3 Knowing things he knows nothing about, trying to sound more intelligent then what he is and 4 Future plans, I'm going to be sucessful at something.
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Feb 09, 2010 3:15 AM GMT
    sounds like he has some serious self esteem issues
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    Feb 09, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    Hoodiestud saidSo, I have this friend, who is a pathological-liar. He literally lies about EVERYTHING and the part that I don't understand, is that its all completely unnecessary. I could understand if someone was lying to try and make someone feel better or for good reasons, they hide the truth. But this guy just lies about stupid things like:

    1) Having sex with certain people
    2) Whether or not he KNOWS someone
    3) Knowing things he knows NOTHING about
    4) Future plans that will never happen

    My list goes on and on....and my question is, is why?? Why do you lie, when it is so obvious that you ARE lying and everyone knows it??

    Do you guys have reasons for lying about stupid things?? It might help shed light on whats wrong with my friend....haha


    Blaaaaahhh that's almost exactly how my ex ended up being... I don't get it at all? If anyone can cure this, let me know so I can cure my ex and we can live happily ever after.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 3:59 AM GMT
    I'm a liar... sometime it just blurs out i dont even know haha

    but it's wierd cuz im in the closet and lie...alot


    and i think i lie just out of habit

    to be honest, it's fucked, a weird compulsion if u will.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 4:43 AM GMT
    I like these 2 quotes about lying..

    Lying starts with the self:
    "The important thing is to stop lying to yourself. A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself as well as for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love and, in order to divert himself, having no love in him he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest forms of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal, in satisfying his vices. And it all comes from lying- lying to others and to yourself." --Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

    The "addiction" of lying:

    He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second and third time, till at length it becomes habitual; he tells lies without attending to it, and truth without the world's believing him. This falsehood of the tongue leads to that of the heart, and in time depraves all its good dispositions." -Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Peter Carr (August 19, 1785)


    I was in a relationship with a habitual liar. After ending it, I can't figure out what the truth was. Kinda Sucks.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 09, 2010 4:55 AM GMT
    I had an ex of 7 years where he lied so often about the most stupid things, I couldn't believe a word he said after a couple of years. What he said and what he did had absolutely no correlation. He would tell me he would buy me a Futon for my bedroom since I bought all the furniture in his bedroom($1900.00 of furniture) only to go the futon store where he would chicken out and not buy anything....over and over again. I told him after about the twelfth time never to mention it again or it would upset me greatly, and he still would make this plan to buy me a futon. He would give me a coupon in my birthday card or something for a "free futon" and yet never buy the futon.

    Even when I moved out because he was a control freak he put on the card for my housewarming gift the same stupid "free futon" coupon...I think this time he called it a ticket. I have all these cards from him with these stupid little tickets for a futon that never happened....over seven years worth. He was making over $100,000.00 a year, so it wasn't because of poverty, yet he could never buy dinner because he was always so "poor"....his words exactly.

    Fuck the futon!
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    Feb 09, 2010 8:41 AM GMT
    But like, sometimes the things he lies about has absolutely NOTHING to do with ANYTHING....or have NO PURPOSE!! It drives me insane!!

    Example 1:
    Asked me what i was buying at the grocery store for a camping trip all our friends were taking. I said i was going to buy some cereal. He told me he had already bought it for me because he knew it was my favorite. I was pleasantly surprised, but accepted the gift anyways. Only to go on the trip and when i asked for the cereal he said he didnt buy it afterall. So, why would you lie that you ALREADY BOUGHT IT, and then say you didnt buy it??

    Example 2:
    At a group hangout, hes all in the corner and just randomly spurts out, "Im....uhh....im gonna leave soon. Im moving to New York for 4 years and you guys wont see me for a while so yeah. I only got accepted to a school there not any here, so thats that." Uhh, yeah right. He isnt even going to nursing school and hasnt applied to any schools. WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT?!

    hahahahahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 8:47 AM GMT
    Is it really you? Are you really the friend? Just trying to find out if it's sick or not?
    I think sometimes people in these forums lie or exaggerate....icon_surprised.gif
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Feb 09, 2010 9:13 AM GMT
    track_boi saidI'm a liar... sometime it just blurs out i dont even know haha

    but it's wierd cuz im in the closet and lie...alot


    and i think i lie just out of habit

    to be honest, it's fucked, a weird compulsion if u will.


    I'd agree, chronic dishonesty is likely an extension of being in the closet. Most gay men have to lie for a chunk of their lives, and we get good at it. Having come out to the majority of the people I care about, it's so nice not to get into lying situations that just snowball out of control. They were always too hard to keep track of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:26 PM GMT
    But if you are a compulsive liar, is there a way to stop or is that always going to be a part of your personality??
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:28 PM GMT
    Hoodiestud saidBut if you are a compulsive liar, is there a way to stop or is that always going to be a part of your personality??



    Seems to me that your friend is addicted to lying, and addictions can be broken. But only if he recognizes that he is doing it and that it's harmful.

  • Mikeylikesit

    Posts: 1021

    Feb 09, 2010 6:40 PM GMT
    Must be a Gemini...Sounds like my ex...LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:48 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidI had an ex of 7 years where he lied so often about the most stupid things, I couldn't believe a word he said after a couple of years. What he said and what he did had absolutely no correlation. He would tell me he would buy me a Futon for my bedroom since I bought all the furniture in his bedroom($1900.00 of furniture) only to go the futon store where he would chicken out and not buy anything....over and over again. I told him after about the twelfth time never to mention it again or it would upset me greatly, and he still would make this plan to buy me a futon. He would give me a coupon in my birthday card or something for a "free futon" and yet never buy the futon.

    Even when I moved out because he was a control freak he put on the card for my housewarming gift the same stupid "free futon" coupon...I think this time he called it a ticket. I have all these cards from him with these stupid little tickets for a futon that never happened....over seven years worth. He was making over $100,000.00 a year, so it wasn't because of poverty, yet he could never buy dinner because he was always so "poor"....his words exactly.

    Fuck the futon!



    ahahahahaha icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif lmfao

    and u were with this guy for 7 yrs??? dude i woulda dumped his ass on year #1 JUST for wanting to buy me a fukin futon on a 100k salary. seriously who gifts a futon?? unless the other person specificly asks for one. at least offer to buy a bed or something. a futon is like 50 fukin dolars
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:54 PM GMT
    What's worse is that sick feeling you get in your stomach when you're talking to a liar who you know is lying. I have a problem of trying to get inside the head of people who do dumb things, whether lying or being a homophobe, to figure out what makes them do that.

    The answer is simple. They are worthless disgraceful people. RUN. icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:55 PM GMT
    Hoodiestud said...My list goes on and on....and my question is, is why??

    I should think the WHY is less important than your response to the reality of it. Yes, some people do this. Why, I cannot guess. But not people to know, or to have as friends.

    I think the more significant question is: why do you still call someone like this your "friend"? If he cannot tell the truth, don't you understand how this compromises your own status with others, who know you both? What lies is he telling about YOU, of which you have no knowledge at the moment? Time to run away.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Feb 09, 2010 8:07 PM GMT
    a pathological liar is sick. It's a disease and you can't really help it.
  • ROYCE13

    Posts: 315

    Feb 09, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    I knew someone like your friend. It is odd at first, then it is sad. Everything is a lie. There is no rationale on trying to dissect them or why.
    But it is a form of sickness or whatever you want to call it. It is not healthy.
    These people are human, but you really cannot be friends with them, just
    remember they are still human.
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    Feb 09, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    Niceguy89 saida pathological liar is sick. It's a disease and you can't really help it.


    yeah i dated one. he's on this website lol.
    if you look up pathological lying, its really a pathology- that is, its a mental neurosis and not a bad habit or even necessarily an intentionally malicious or self-serving manipulation. they lie about EVERYTHING, and can't stop themselves. what's worse- only part of their mind knows they're doing it- the reason they're so good at it is that they actually manage to convince themselves (on SOME level) that they're telling the truth. so if you try to confront one on their lies, they blow up, get defensive, and manage to make YOU feel bad for doubting them- even though you know the whole time they were caught red-handed! when you confront them, and try to burst their little self-made bubble of reality, their mind rebells and desperately tries to hold it all together, because as anyone knows, if one lie unravels... the whole mess comes apart at the seams. and when one's whole life is an intricately woven poly-blend of lies and fabrications... that's a lot to defend. the are usually in denial about what they do in the worst and most deeply subconscious way. its messed up.
    be very wary of these people- don't bother investing emotionally in them- and trust is impossible. they become VERY good at creating incredibly intricate and convincing lies replete with backstories and cross-references, and only a small part of them really cares if it ever ends up hurting you.