A Second Opinion

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 4:01 AM GMT
    So I really need help with this one guys so... I was talking to this guy who always expected me to text or call first and wouldnt text back for hours and it got to a point where I was like I'm just going not to text him and he can text me...

    Well we went 8 days without texting and then he said sorry he's been busy and going through stuff so I said don't worry about I just want you to let me be there for you

    So anyway he asked if I could meet up with him the next day and I said sure I'll take off of work so I did... to make a long story short he made excuses on why he couldnt meet me at the time we scheduled and he try to see me later on that night...

    So later on that night came and he made more excuses on why he couldnt meet up with me (Yea stood up twice in one night)

    So I'm at a crossroads because I really do like him but obviously he doesnt feel the same way about me I'm not sure what I should do.


    Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    How about not replying back his messages? or wait for like a day or two and make up an excuse like he did, thats what I do anyways lol immature maybe but it gets the point across
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Feb 09, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    Nspyerf8 saidSo I really need help with this one guys so... I was talking to this guy who always expected me to text or call first and wouldnt text back for hours and it got to a point where I was like I'm just going not to text him and he can text me...

    Well we went 8 days without texting and then he said sorry he's been busy and going through stuff so I said don't worry about I just want you to let me be there for you

    So anyway he asked if I could meet up with him the next day and I said sure I'll take off of work so I did... to make a long story short he made excuses on why he couldnt meet me at the time we scheduled and he try to see me later on that night...

    So later on that night came and he made more excuses on why he couldnt meet up with me (Yea stood up twice in one night)

    So I'm at a crossroads because I really do like him but obviously he doesnt feel the same way about me I'm not sure what I should do.


    Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.



    Aww this sucks and I have experienced it. However, after a dry spell of not talking/txting the guy never asked me to meet him, it's always the opposite.

    Does anyone, including the OP, believe that if a guy is into you for REAL that he will txt/call/msg you on his own? Are ppl really busy like that? It's hard to answer cuz maybe, like you said, he was waiting for you to initiate something.

    What you need to do is give him one more chance and lay it down on the line that if he is serious about getting to know you that he better show up if you make plans. If he fails then just let him go. If he really does like you he will care and do something (hopefully it is out of care, not just b/c he wants you for the game), If not, then he won't care either way. Sometimes ppl just don't realize what is in front of them
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:04 AM GMT
    Nspyerf8 saidSo I really need help with this one guys so... I was talking to this guy who always expected me to text or call first and wouldnt text back for hours and it got to a point where I was like I'm just going not to text him and he can text me...

    Well we went 8 days without texting and then he said sorry he's been busy and going through stuff so I said don't worry about I just want you to let me be there for you

    So anyway he asked if I could meet up with him the next day and I said sure I'll take off of work so I did... to make a long story short he made excuses on why he couldnt meet me at the time we scheduled and he try to see me later on that night...

    So later on that night came and he made more excuses on why he couldnt meet up with me (Yea stood up twice in one night)

    So I'm at a crossroads because I really do like him but obviously he doesnt feel the same way about me I'm not sure what I should do.


    Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


    Try a phone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:04 AM GMT
    Drop him like the bad habit he clearly is.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 09, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    What Would Momma Do? I ask myself this all the time. My mom brought me up expecting me to show a certain level of respect to everyone. This guy is not showing you respect and therefore not worth your time. Stay single until you find a guy that cares for you.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:25 AM GMT
    Well it seems like you are both at fault on this one. I only say that because it seems like neither one of you was able to man up and just do something as simple as texting each other. You both played the waiting game and clearly that didn't get you anywhere (except stood up).

    After you finally decided to make the first move (8 days later) you got stood up again. Really not surprised about that. It seems neither one of you is serious about meeting. If you were you would've just called him (or him you). How hard is that? Leave a message and after the ball is in his court. You'll get answer whether he replies back or not in a legitimate amount of time. The longest you should ever wait for a reply is a day.

    Clearly he isn't all that interested since he seems to have an excuse for everything. That seems to be a habit for people who aren't really interested in meeting others. Even if you were to meet it sounds like he would just maybe be interested in one thing. I say move on unless that's what you want too.

    I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. You could've done better with the situation but chose not to because to you expected him to come to you and he expected the same thing. Sometimes it's not a bad idea to be the one to make the first move. In fact, you come out looking better if you do. Waiting 8 days for a reply is waaaaaay to long and it doesn't take that long to text or phone someone. In a society where we like everything quick and fast (just look at our technology) excuses should be next to nothing when it comes to simply communicating with someone.

    I hope this helps and I hope for future reference when someone does show interest in you again that you don't wait so long.

    Laters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    All this drama and turmoil at the start doesn't portend a happy future. Don't jump through anyone's hoops. You can do better.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:40 AM GMT
    i hate it when it happens man. young people play this game too often WHEN THEY DONT take things seriously

    says... u text first --> u show subtle sign of desperation --> so u wait --> he thinks the same thing so he won't text first --> he waits --> he doesnt text --> after awhile no one text each other --> u like him so u text first --> repeat cycle

    and, chucky, for some stupid ignorant reason, young people think texting is much better than calling, and so even if u call, they dont pick up, and THEN leave u a message by texting u saying that they're busy.. i cant explain that shit either

    My humble opinion for u Nspyerf8, is the same as Celticmusl: drop him, stay single, keep dating and hopefully the one who actually cares bout u shows up.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:43 AM GMT
    How does it go..."fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"

    And it's 1..2..3 strikes you're out at the ol' ball gameicon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:43 AM GMT
    The thing is we have met in person before and were great together and though he may be after me for sex he is a virgin
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:44 AM GMT
    Nspyerf8 saidThe thing is we have met in person before and were great together and though he may be after me for sex he is a virgin


    Big deal.
    There are no good excuses. You're a smart guy.
    End it.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Feb 09, 2010 5:45 AM GMT
    Nspyerf8 saidA Second Opinion

    RunintheCity saidDrop him like the bad habit he clearly is.


    amen, Run. a second opinion ... ? more like give a " second " to a man with a gregarious disposition.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:49 AM GMT
    jrs1 said
    Nspyerf8 saidA Second Opinion

    RunintheCity saidDrop him like the bad habit he clearly is.


    amen, Run. a second opinion ... ? more like give a " second " to a man with a gregarious disposition.


    Haha wise words from wise men
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:50 AM GMT
    I feel like I cant though because he is younger than me and I feel like he just hasnt had that much relationship experience and thats why he does some of the things he does

    I dont want to miss out at the chance of someone great.
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    Feb 09, 2010 5:51 AM GMT
    Nspyerf8 saidThe thing is we have met in person before and were great together and though he may be after me for sex he is a virgin


    i've been with a dude who apparently seemed really interested in me. We met a couple times and every time we chat it would last forever. He'd always say "i'd love to meet..." and then one day he jus disappeared. No text/phone/email/aim reply watsoever. Mad i was since there was absolutely no explanation. So i lost interest as well.
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:00 AM GMT
    I mean he is apologizing now for the whole not talking thing but I dont know if i should forgivr, forget, and give him another chance or do what many of you are saying and run because he's just telling me what I want to hear
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:04 AM GMT
    well at least hes apologizing, give him another chance (last one) what to lose right? But let him do all the work this time and remember, you are mad, and he has to make up for it! icon_wink.gif
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Feb 09, 2010 6:04 AM GMT
    Do you really need anyone to tell you that neither one of you is making the other a priority? There is something to be said for being direct and upfront when communicating with someone. How long have you two been talking? What makes you think there is such potential for greatness, that you would willing look past his behavior towards you? And are you certain he feels the same way in regards to building something towards you?
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:10 AM GMT
    Nspyerf8 saidSo I really need help with this one guys so... I was talking to this guy who always expected me to text or call first and wouldnt text back for hours and it got to a point where I was like I'm just going not to text him and he can text me...

    Well we went 8 days without texting and then he said sorry he's been busy and going through stuff so I said don't worry about I just want you to let me be there for you

    So anyway he asked if I could meet up with him the next day and I said sure I'll take off of work so I did... to make a long story short he made excuses on why he couldnt meet me at the time we scheduled and he try to see me later on that night...

    So later on that night came and he made more excuses on why he couldnt meet up with me (Yea stood up twice in one night)

    So I'm at a crossroads because I really do like him but obviously he doesnt feel the same way about me I'm not sure what I should do.


    Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


    With your looks, he shouldn't be wasting your time... but you and I can both waste mineicon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    ddt8665 saidwell at least hes apologizing, give him another chance (last one) what to lose right? But let him do all the work this time and remember, you are mad, and he has to make up for it! icon_wink.gif


    Haha hell yea he'll make up for it Haha I like that though funny
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Feb 09, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    Does somebody have to smack you up side the head to make you see the light ?
    Don't you deserve better than this ?
    Stop texting him.
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:39 AM GMT
    PipHop saidDo you really need anyone to tell you that neither one of you is making the other a priority? There is something to be said for being direct and upfront when communicating with someone. How long have you two been talking? What makes you think there is such potential for greatness, that you would willing look past his behavior towards you? And are you certain he feels the same way in regards to building something towards you?


    We've been talking for probably a month or so.

    I think this is potential because we get each other's sense of humor, have similar likes and dislikes, have similar feelings towards life. And we click plus he's easy on the eyes and considers me easy on the eyes.

    I will look past it because its hard for me to meet guys somewhere near my age, that doesnt want sex at first sight and I can forgive because I've always been the younger less mature one in a relationship that has made mistakes so who am I not to forgive him.

    No i'm not sure he feels the same way in building something but is anyone ever sure? but he sas he wants to so I am going to take his word.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:43 AM GMT
    Lol metropolitan I might take you up on that offer if it doesnt work out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 09, 2010 6:44 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidDoes somebody have to smack you up side the head to make you see the light ?
    Don't you deserve better than this ?
    Stop texting him.


    Yes I might actually need someone to slap some sense into me mommy's far away from me now.