an illuminating excerpt from Stuff White People Like:
"One thing prized by white people is making the most of situations. They like to maximize opportunities for all that they are worth. This applies to jobs, vacations, investments, books, education, and perhaps most important, warm days.
After a prolonged cold snap, white people are very excited at the first hint of a warm day. It is their opportunity to go back outside, to enjoy nature and thrive. In order to get the most enjoyment possible out of these days, white people turn to one of their most trusted allies: shorts.
It is a known fact that white people believe they can cause spring to arrive early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is slightly above seasonal temperatures
. This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to admit it is cold.
When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it's best to say, "I can't wait until it's warm enough to go windsurfing." they will likely give you a high five."
i heart Christian Lander.