Internet hookup: Advice for getting a second date?

  • Kyboy270

    Posts: 30

    Feb 10, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    I was surfing for boys the other day and I found a guy whose profile I liked, so I sent him a message asking if he was interested in some sex. It wasn't long before we were chatting on MSN messenger.

    The chat session was a lot of fun, it lasted about 3 hours and during that time I really started to like the guy. Not only attractive, he was funny, no-nonsense, and had lots of interesting things to say. In addition, we realized that we live only a 5-minute walk away from each other. He gave me his number and we made arrangements to meet the following evening.

    The next night, we met at around 10 for dinner. He suggested a place because he had a 2 x 1 coupon and offered to treat me, which I accepted. We were in the restaurant talking non-stop for 3 hours, about everything from coming out to our parents to our university studies to our favorite travels. We laughed a lot and I was becoming very interested, very quickly.

    On the walk home, we passed his street while talking and when we arrived at mine, I kissed him. He asked me, "Was that an invitation?" I kissed him again.

    We went to my place. He fucked me. It wasn't perfect sex, but it was extremely hot. There were sparks.

    At 1:30PM the next afternoon, I had to push myself away from him and go to work. I had barely slept, but I felt incredible. As he left, he kissed me and said, "We'll talk." I replied with a smile and the word "Please."

    About 3 hours later, I was still feeling like a million bucks. I sent him a text message saying, "I'm still smiling icon_smile.gif".

    Well, it's been a week, and I haven't heard anything back from him. There have been moments where I was ready to call him or send him another message, but my instincts have stopped me. I know better than that.

    I've never really been in this situation before. A situation that started out seeming too good to be true, then later being left to wonder if it really was. He's still on my messenger contacts, and I see him online often, but there's been no contact. It's starting to drive me a little bit crazy.

    I'm determined to wait this out until I feel a little bit more control over myself. I want to see him again, but my brain tells me to wait. I don't know how long, but I have to wait. I want it far too badly right now.

    Comments/advice appreciated icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 5:45 AM GMT
    You realize he is out fucking other guys, dont you?

    He got what he wanted from you. You are no longer novel or a challenge.
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Feb 10, 2010 5:47 AM GMT
    I'd say you should try chatting with him online the next time you see him. It's been a week, so it's not like you're being clingy.

    He might not be interested in having that second date. Or he might be as nervous as you. You wont know until you try talking to him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 7:08 AM GMT
    Meh, you were a lay not a date, he wooed you, had you and now he's probably done with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 7:39 AM GMT
    Or he could have been away for the week on business.... not that that happened to me last week...
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 10, 2010 11:57 AM GMT
    If you see him online say hello ....

    beyond that it'll start getting stalkerish icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 12:12 PM GMT
    Sometimes it's best not to stick your legs in the air on the first date.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Feb 10, 2010 12:19 PM GMT
    With a 'virtual' pick-up line of "interested in some sex", I'm not sure you should be expecting a second date.

    I think one-night stands only turn into meaningful relationships in the movies.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Feb 10, 2010 12:23 PM GMT
    reppaT saidSometimes it's best not to stick your legs in the air on the first date.

    lurves.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 10, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidYou realize he is out fucking other guys, dont you?

    He got what he wanted from you. You are no longer novel or a challenge.



    Unfortunately, this is the likely case. When you gush everything out like that, it's very euphoric, but if you two were to start dating, what is there left to discover between you two? Leave some mystery. It attracts.

    Contact him. Playing coy after being forward when you first met is a mixed signal in itself. Good luck...
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Feb 10, 2010 1:19 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr said
    I think one-night stands only turn into meaningful relationships in the movies.

    ha. yup.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 1:34 PM GMT
    Your interactions began with your own invitation to have some sex. It sounds like you both got what you wanted.

    I'm all for one-night stands, but it's important not to make yourself vulnerable to greater expectations.

    This guy didn't happen to live on the second floor of an apartment building across from a pension on Calle Hortaleza, did he? I miss him. icon_smile.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Feb 10, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidI think one-night stands only turn into meaningful relationships in the movies.


    In that case I am on one very long one night stand.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Feb 10, 2010 1:55 PM GMT
    DCEric said
    jlly_rnchr saidI think one-night stands only turn into meaningful relationships in the movies.


    In that case I am on one very long one night stand.

    I suppose there are exceptions to the rule. Err...I feel like I'm quoting "He's Just Not That Into You". Anyway, that's great for you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 1:59 PM GMT
    Kyboy270 said I was surfing for boys the other day and I found a guy whose profile I liked, so I sent him a message asking if he was interested in some sex...

    Is it realistic to think that this is the springboard to true love?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 2:20 PM GMT
    It was a hookup. He's had you. He's over you. He has moved on. I would suggest you do the same. When you texted him, you gave him an opportunity that he didn't take. You have seen him online and he has seen you. Believe me, if he were into you he would have already contacted you.

    But if you are looking for some sort of closure here's what you can do. Simply create another profile that disguises who you actually are and ask him to hookup again. You'll soon have your answer
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 2:23 PM GMT
    What are you waiting for? If you want him go after him. You certainly won't get any closer to finding out what the deal is in this forum.

    Be creative. Do something memorable. If he ends up thinking you're a freak, it's his loss. If you don't give it your best shot, then it's your fault. Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid of not trying...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 2:49 PM GMT
    it seems as though your initial need was met anyway so keep it at that. If feelings were mutual, things would have moved along already. Time to see who else is on line icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 3:05 PM GMT
    Since you had sex, I would agree with the others that that was probably all he was after and then once he got it he moved on. The real mystery is why I went on a date with a guy who seemed so crazy about me that he was ready to pick out china patterns, we DIDN'T have sex and yet now he won't return my messages. Guys are weird.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    I agree with everyone else here...

    My own last attempt at meeting someone online ended in similar ways. Its amazing at what lengths these guys will go to just to get even something resembling sex. I've had guys chat online for weeks on end, talk hours on the phone, meet up for days at a time and the minute anything sexual is attained, they vanish. Hell, I'm guilty of it myself. We're losers. LOL



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 3:15 PM GMT
    muscles4muscles saidThe real mystery is why I went on a date with a guy who seemed so crazy about me that he was ready to pick out china patterns, we DIDN'T have sex and yet now he won't return my messages. Guys are weird.


    I've both had this done to me and have done this myself. A lot of times its that One Thing that you did or said that you didn't even know was a turnoff but it was for him. It can be like flipping a switch off in a guy sometimes. Or sometimes its a culmination of many different little things that makes the guy say "is this worth it for me?"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    reppaT saidSometimes it's best not to stick your legs in the air on the first date.


    That was the advice I was going to give. Getting a second date and internet hookup don't really go together.
  • Kyboy270

    Posts: 30

    Feb 10, 2010 3:42 PM GMT
    Caslon13000You realize he is out fucking other guys, dont you?


    I'm sure he is. I'm doing my own thing, too -- got a date for Friday icon_smile.gif. It's just that thoughts keep returning to him. I certainly wasn't expecting anything like this to happen. However, every time I meet up with a guy, I'm open to possibilities. I did have a wonderful relationship-turned-friendship come out of an internet sex hookup. While rare, it can happen.

    ObsceneWishThis guy didn't happen to live on the second floor of an apartment building across from a pension on Calle Hortaleza, did he? I miss him.


    Nope, sorry. Hehe. Maybe he misses you too.

    bknyguyWhat are you waiting for? If you want him go after him. You certainly won't get any closer to finding out what the deal is in this forum.


    It's true, but I like to see everyone's ideas about what's going on, anyway.

    Like I said, I'm waiting until I'm not so psycho about this. Maybe during that time, he'll disappear. But I'm not going anywhere icon_smile.gif

    Anybody in Spain, by the way? I'm new here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 3:47 PM GMT
    muscles4muscles saidSince you had sex, I would agree with the others that that was probably all he was after and then once he got it he moved on. The real mystery is why I went on a date with a guy who seemed so crazy about me that he was ready to pick out china patterns, we DIDN'T have sex and yet now he won't return my messages. Guys are weird.


    lolz
    maybe he found out u have hideous taste in china and thats what did u in
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 10, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidMeh, you were a lay not a date, he wooed you, had you and now he's probably done with you.

    The most likely scenario, as Caslon and others have also said. He'll either follow-up in time, or he won't, so the OP should move on, have his other dates, not keep a candle in the window for him. Maybe he'll reappear and make a good fuck-buddy in the future, or maybe not. This is how it goes...