First date. Ever!

  • Kellzor

    Posts: 38

    Jan 15, 2008 11:33 AM GMT
    Ok so i met this really neat guy a last week and weve talked online a few times and on the phone.

    We both click with each other and have agreed to go on a date.

    Now this is my first actual go out to a restaraunt kinda thing, so I have no idea what Im supposed to do!

    Any helpful hints guys?

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    Jan 15, 2008 11:56 AM GMT
    well since i just posted a thing regarding how i am frustrated, cant find someone and a cronic dater, i dont know that i should really give advice. however thats no fun, and god damnit i go on dates a lot lol.
    the best advice i can give is be yourself. if youre nervous say so, talk about what you know and your interest, but be sure to not ignore his (no one wants someone who constantly discusses themselves, and the opposite can also be true, you need to know who you are). another thing i like on a date is when the person doesnt just go along with what i am saying just to be polite. now i am not saying get into a political discussion and start screaming at him regarding your difference of opinion, but show that you can think for yourself and have something to contribute.
    typically on the first date dont bring up politics and religion. leave those for later discussions because even if you are in the same political party and like the same candidate, you will almost definately disagree in some aspect of something. and politics and religion tend to be te subjects that run deepest.
    oh and please dont over compliment. you should say he looks nice in the begining and perhaps the end. however, i have been on dates where the only thing the person on the other side of the table said was how cute i was, and while nice in moderation, it can start to be a bit creepy. and personally i think it shows a lack of self confidence when you over compliment someone, like you shouldnt be on a date with them or something. but again be polite and do compliment, just refrain from over doing it.
    ok now that i have written a novel i think i shall go to bed. best of lck to you stud and let us know how it goes. and remember most of all have fun and be yourself.
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    Jan 15, 2008 5:31 PM GMT
    Be careful what you eat before you go out on your date. Don't let this happen to you.

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    Jan 15, 2008 5:36 PM GMT
    LOL!! That is so not right McGay!
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    Jan 15, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    i would keep the first date quick -- pick a casual place and just chat and eat for about an hour. (since you're not going to be drinking this makes even more sense.)

    then if you guys like each other, i'm sure there will be lots more things you'll think of to do on the next date. icon_smile.gif

    and if there's no spark, then you both have an easy out!
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Jan 15, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    Just be yourself. Relax and remember this is just a date.

    Nothing more and nothing less.

    You're not going to start picking china patterns; you're on a fun and frivolous date.

    Enjoy! icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 15, 2008 6:05 PM GMT
    Don't pick your nose. And for God's sake, if you do, don't eat the booger. At least not in front of him.
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    Jan 15, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
    Rich is right. First, as is tradition, show it to your date. Then wipe it on the uderside of the table.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Jan 15, 2008 6:16 PM GMT
    Plan a date where you DO something together. Play air hockey. Go bowling. Find a rock-climbing gym. It's better than sitting across a table and searching for conversation.

    Don't apologize for anything unless you've done something harmful. That may sound obvious but it's a big thing for me, as I tend to be self-conscious and can end up apologizing for talking too much, talking too little, being too assertive, not being assertive enough, for having too little dating experience, for having too much, etc.

    Ask questions, but don't just ask questions. You want to be interested in the other person but you don't want to turn the date into an interrogation.

    Don't rush to fill every silence. When I forget this I start saying bizarre, inane things (like, "Carrots are weird. They're sweet when you cook them, but they're not sweet when you don't cook them. Carrots are weird." I swear, I heard the words coming out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them.)

    Be ready with a cute, mildly embarrassing story about yourself that you can tell with a sense of humor. This can make you seem funny and confident without coming across as arrogant.

    Remember that you're not perfect and neither is he. Don't beat yourself up for being a little awkward (if that happens). Remember that a facade of smooth perfection is less attractive than goofy, sweet, good-natured authenticity.

    He's not going to be who you hope he is. No one ever matches the expectations we have in our heads, especially when we barely know them, so don't hold tight to those expectations -- they'll prevent you from appreciating the good qualities you didn't know he had.

    If you find yourself still worrying about making a good impression, remind yourself that you're not there to make him like you; you're there to find out if you like him.

    DISCLAIMER: These hints are based on my own dating issues. They may not be useful at all for anyone with a different set of issues.
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    Jan 15, 2008 6:35 PM GMT
    Squarejaw--

    You think CARROTS are weird? Try Brussels sprouts. I mean, they look like little cabbages, they TASTE like little cabbages, but they're not even related to cabbage. What's up with that?
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    Jan 15, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
    i agree with squarejaw completely. like i said before be yourself, a date shouldnt be work
  • Alan95823

    Posts: 306

    Jan 15, 2008 6:52 PM GMT
    Take enough cash that you can pay for things if you have to. It's always good to be prepared.
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    Jan 19, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    I dunno, Squarejaw...apologizing for everything might not be all bad, at least if he's anything like me. Honestly, I can't stand when people over-apologize for things, but I have a solution when it's someone I'm dating (or on a date with)--kiss them to shut them up about the apologizing thing. I think it implies enough forgiveness for whatever unintended offense or social misdemeanor, and it's not going to hurt his confidence in the worst case. Besides...isn't it fun?

    Or at least, that's what I would do if I ever went on a date with someone like that, or dated someone like that. Can't say that the opportunity has arisen, and it seems inappropriate to do to my other friends.
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    Jan 29, 2008 7:36 AM GMT
    jprichva saidDon't pick your nose. And for God's sake, if you do, don't eat the booger. At least not in front of him.



    ewwww LMAOicon_lol.gif
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    Jan 29, 2008 8:28 AM GMT
    tastes like pickles. you could offer some to your date.
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    Jan 29, 2008 8:29 AM GMT
    Don't sweat it. One of the cutest moments on a very first date ever can come when the person who is on his first date admits this is all sorta new to him. Your date should pick up on that real fast and quickly realize you've just handed him control of the conversation. The great part about this is that you've given yourself a valid reason should there be an awkward moment. First date jitters. Have an awesome time with no expectations other than a cool opportunity to get to know someone you've become interested in after communicating with them on line. The only no no I'd tell you to be aware of is this... DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT have your cell within view or turned on. Give your full attention to the moment and your date. My very first date with a guy was hilarious. He actually brought me flowers. I was so confused by the act I said to him... Does this mean I'm the girl tonight? We both laughed so hard it broke the ice and had an awesome night. So break the wall of nerves down first and then have a blast. I can tell ya some horror stories about dates but right now lets focus on that first date icon_smile.gif
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jan 29, 2008 8:51 AM GMT
    How'd it go Kellzor?

    If you've still to do it then;

    Relax and try to be yourself.

    Ask the guy lots of questions about himself and be interested in what he has to say. Try not to talk about yourself too much.

    Have fun and remember to have safer sex if it goes that far.

    Lozx