What makes someone masculine? What makes them feminine?

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    Feb 12, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    After 18 months on this site, I've seen the masculine/feminine discussion many many times. About why people like or dislike either category in men they come into contact with in the gay community.

    I want to know from you all what you consider to be masculine or feminine characteristics in men you come across in the gay community.

    Talk amongst yourselves...

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    Feb 12, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    dun know, honestly, dun care, I know one things though, the guys who get considered "feminine" are generally for me, a lot easier to get along with, they don't expect me to play the roll of some bullshit "super masculine" role and tend to laugh with me and at me when I turn into a big girl icon_biggrin.gif

    those guys who do that whole "I'm Masculine" kinda crap, generally expect you to do the same and when you don't, they wrinkle there little noses at you cause ya know, you aren't being like them..
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    Feb 12, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    I'd totally sneer and wrinkle my nose in disdain at you both, but I hear sneering and wrinkling noses causes wrinkles, and I'm much too dainty a raging he-man to have wrinkles. So I'll just e-sneer at you, instead.
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    Feb 12, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
    zdrew saidI'd totally sneer and wrinkle my nose in disdain at you both, but I hear sneering and wrinkling noses causes wrinkles, and I'm much too dainty a raging he-man to have wrinkles. So I'll just e-sneer at you, instead.

    Yes and at your age you really can't afford to start giving your self wrinkles.. you need to keep all the pretty you can icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 12, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    Funny answers, but I'm serious. I want to know what people's definition of masculine and feminine are.
  • masculumpedes

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    Feb 12, 2010 4:15 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidFunny answers, but I'm serious. I want to know what people's definition of masculine and feminine are.


    um...how badly do you wanna know handsome? icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidFunny answers, but I'm serious. I want to know what people's definition of masculine and feminine are.

    as much as people are going to come along and tell you and start using massive cliché to do it, it comes down to your own perception of what masculine or feminine is, if you feel your self to be masculine and that's all and with that feeling you don't try to degrade another person because of how you feel and perceive your self to be and how they don't align with your perception of your self and all that good stuff, then awesome..

    But if your like quite a few guys on here who perceive them self as one way and then attempt to degrade another person because they don't toe the line as they see it, then, really, it doesn't matter if they are masculine or feminine, they are just an arsehole.

    Funny thing is, if you take say a hundred people who give you what they think is masculine, most of these people will assume they are that because they want to believe that's what they are, but, usually, what they want to be and what they are don't line up all that well.
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:39 AM GMT
    Gender roles.

    Masculine men do a disservice to themselves if they follow typical gender roles, and so do feminine women. Well, that's what the theory proposes.

    Perhaps those that are uncomfortable in the presence of a feminine male are lacking something in themselves.

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    Feb 12, 2010 4:44 AM GMT
    I could care less what someone defines a person by, just as long as they are true to themselves and to those around them.
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    Dante_redux saidI could care less what someone defines a person by, just as long as they are true to themselves and to those around them.

    See lets take Dante as an example.. he's sweet, mega hawt, funny, smart and he just makes me wanna grab him and do all sorts of things to him *nods*

    And really, is there anything more important then that? icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    I've seen some research denoting that people who are androgynous in their behavior, possessing both a fair amount of instrumental gender roles and expressive gender roles, were generally happier people.


    I wonder why.

    I personally don't pay much attention to the words "masculinity" or "femininity." People may have their preferences, but sometimes I think those preferences are a little extreme and I find it to be their personal fault.
  • Joeyphx444

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    Feb 12, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    I am only turned off by physically feminine guys. Physically, feminine is the stereotypical gay that we see on shows and stuff. There is also a feminine mentality vs masc mentality. To me, a masc mentality is avoiding drama, taking it like a man, maybe not too talkative, somewhat reserved, sometimes silly behavior, rough and tough, doesn't show emotions, etc.

    With that criteria, I think most men, gay, bi or straight really have both. I am physically masculine but emotionally, I would be considered feminine. The way guys process relationships is always masc and if it were fem, maybe there would be less cheating and promiscuity. OF course being fem emotionally is not always good. This is just my perception. Like someone said, it's diff from one person to another, I don't really think there is a clear cut def of these words.

    I think it does matter, I mean it's just a preference.

  • masculumpedes

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    Feb 12, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    How is going to a gay bar different from going to the circus?

    (At the circus the clowns don't talk) icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:52 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidI am only turned off by physically feminine guys. Physically, feminine is the stereotypical gay that we see on shows and stuff. There is also a feminine mentality vs masc mentality. To me, a masc mentality is avoiding drama, taking it like a man, maybe not too talkative, somewhat reserved, sometimes silly behavior, rough and tough, doesn't show emotions, etc.

    With that criteria, I think most men, gay, bi or straight really have both. I am physically masculine but emotionally, I would be considered feminine. The way guys process relationships is always masc and if it were fem, maybe there would be less cheating and promiscuity. OF course being fem emotionally is not always good. This is just my perception. Like someone said, it's diff from one person to another, I don't really think there is a clear cut def of these words.



    There are downsides to being classified as a masculine male, as well. In intimate relationships, it is generally agreed upon that people want to be shown affection, warmth, and love. With the masculine male, as the theory explains, they have trouble in conveying what they desire themselves and suffer a lack of communication.

    Emotionally female would you say conveys a sense of "openness?" Rather- Allowing your emotions to be more freely accessible to others when they desire to know about them?
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:53 AM GMT
    It's all about how they process information.
  • Joeyphx444

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    Feb 12, 2010 4:54 AM GMT
    Soulasphyxi said
    Jmuscle33 saidI am only turned off by physically feminine guys. Physically, feminine is the stereotypical gay that we see on shows and stuff. There is also a feminine mentality vs masc mentality. To me, a masc mentality is avoiding drama, taking it like a man, maybe not too talkative, somewhat reserved, sometimes silly behavior, rough and tough, doesn't show emotions, etc.

    With that criteria, I think most men, gay, bi or straight really have both. I am physically masculine but emotionally, I would be considered feminine. The way guys process relationships is always masc and if it were fem, maybe there would be less cheating and promiscuity. OF course being fem emotionally is not always good. This is just my perception. Like someone said, it's diff from one person to another, I don't really think there is a clear cut def of these words.



    There are downsides to being classified as a masculine male, as well. In intimate relationships, it is generally agreed upon that people want to be shown affection, warmth, and love. With the masculine male, as the theory explains, they have trouble in conveying what they desire themselves and suffer a lack of communication.


    Yes this is true!! I mean there are a lot of gay guys who are like that. I always cringe when I read ppls profiles when they are trying to show how masc they are and trying to break the fem stereotype. They say things like, I am just a guy who happens to like guys, or something like that. Well, a guy is a guy, isn't always a good thing
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    Feb 12, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    Dante_redux saidI could care less what someone defines a person by, just as long as they are true to themselves and to those around them.

    See lets take Dante as an example.. he's sweet, mega hawt, funny, smart and he just makes me wanna grab him and do all sorts of things to him *nods*

    And really, is there anything more important then that? icon_razz.gif


    Nice point Tanky. icon_biggrin.gif *hugs*

    Soulasphyxi saidI've seen some research denoting that people who are androgynous in their behavior, possessing both a fair amount of instrumental gender roles and expressive gender roles, were generally happier people.


    I wonder why.


    Could it be that they are more emotionally balanced? Letting emotions flow more freely and yet having a stable grasp of them as well?
  • morgansby

    Posts: 6

    Feb 12, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    I know I personally struggle with this too, because I consider myself masculine looking and acting. However when it comes to interests I feel it is harder to categorize. I enjoy Theater, and Art, love cooking and writing, and look forward to getting married and having children with great anticipation. I do not keep up with sports, I work out but to take care of myself not because I enjoy it, gyms give me anxiety lol. So I have had a hard time on here because when I talk about stuff I enjoy doing I sound feminine. Maybe it is like the Kinsey scale, we each have our masculine qualities as do we our feminine. Either way we are who we are and if we do not have acceptance of ourself's it will be a constant battle of trying to obtain the acceptance from others. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 12, 2010 5:07 AM GMT
    morgansby saidI know I personally struggle with this too, because I consider myself masculine looking and acting. However when it comes to interests I feel it is harder to categorize. I enjoy Theater, and Art, love cooking and writing, and look forward to getting married and icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gifhaving children with great anticipation. I do not keep up with sports, I work out but to take care of myself not because I enjoy it, gyms give me anxiety lol. So I have had a hard time on here because when I talk about stuff I enjoy doing I sound feminine. Maybe it is like the Kinsey scale, we each have our masculine qualities as do we our feminine. Either way we are who we are and if we do not have acceptance of ourself's it will be a constant battle of trying to obtain the acceptance from others. icon_biggrin.gif
    How very wonderful for you to open up about your experience. Thank you.
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    Feb 12, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    Hey Soulasphyxi, this, "I personally don't pay much attention to the words "masculinity" or "femininity."

    but I think...
    "People may have their preferences, but sometimes I think those preferences are a little extreme and I find it to be their personal fault."

    ..that people's preferences ( it's a loaded word because it implies choice which isn't often the case. Try tell your penis what to do! lol ) are either the key to their freedom or the bars on their prison. ( paraphrasing Joni Mitchell here)

    -Doug
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    Feb 12, 2010 5:22 AM GMT
    I don't understand why people are obsessed with these labels?

    All I have to say is just enjoy being yourself,that's all what really matters.

    icon_smile.gif
  • Webster666

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    Feb 12, 2010 7:46 AM GMT
    7173bd.jpg
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    Feb 12, 2010 1:33 PM GMT
    meninlove said Hey Soulasphyxi, this, "I personally don't pay much attention to the words "masculinity" or "femininity."

    but I think...
    "People may have their preferences, but sometimes I think those preferences are a little extreme and I find it to be their personal fault."

    ..that people's preferences ( it's a loaded word because it implies choice which isn't often the case. Try tell your penis what to do! lol ) are either the key to their freedom or the bars on their prison. ( paraphrasing Joni Mitchell here)

    -Doug
    I suppose what I was attempting to say was what you were posting. Hmmmm, now that I think about it I shouldn't have used the word fault.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Feb 12, 2010 1:45 PM GMT
    Feminine
    173139__laughwhore_l.jpg

    Masculine
    brad_pitt.jpg
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    Feb 12, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidFeminine
    173139__laughwhore_l.jpg

    Masculine
    brad_pitt.jpg



    lol...I think this just about summed it up.

    People make it out to be harder than it is and more serious than it should be. Its something that you know when you see it. Its hard to put in words