Where and how do I meet quality guys?

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  Feb 12, 2010 7:04 AM GMT

  So yea I've never been in a relationship or really dated a guy beyond a few dates, but i'd like to get into a relationship.
  About a year ago i as quite naive and thought that once I started looking fora bf there'd be plenty of legit guys to date....I was very wrong.
  
  I've been lookin online as well in person. I've pretty much given up on gay bars cuz I rarely find guys there attractive... I sometimes find attractive athletic guys online but often they're closeted and/or just looking for sex. I've even tried hitting on some guys at the gym, very unsuccesfuly I may add.
  So for those of you who have met quality guys where and how did you meet them?
  Am I looking in the wrong places or is it a matter of time and luck?

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• myklet1
  
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  Feb 12, 2010 12:40 PM GMT

  When you are not looking is usually when you will find. I was sitting on my friends porch and met her neighbor and the rest is history. 13 years.

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• DCEric
  
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  Feb 12, 2010 3:30 PM GMT

  In organizations. In real life. Get out of the house and join up with a local gay sports club. Ta-da. A group of guys. Maybe one will work out, maybe not, but either way you have a circle of new friends.

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  Feb 12, 2010 3:36 PM GMT

  You have a good profile and your life is going to go in good directions. A whole lot of guys in their 20's and 30's would think you were 'catch' material. You'll meet mostly nothing but one-nighters in pubs, for the most part. You can meet quality guys through your friends; clubs you might belong to; business; alumni activities; working out or running (this has worked for me over and over) and finally - right here in Forums. My present (and permanent) b.f. and I met right here. You can do it - - and you will!
  

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  Feb 12, 2010 3:39 PM GMT

  honestly ive met the best guys at starbux and book stores or the gym
  
  and dont beat urself up about not having a bf, im a year younger than you and ive never had a bf either.

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  Feb 12, 2010 3:42 PM GMT

  I will never hook up with a patient of mine, but I have had and do still have relationships with other physicians and male nursing staff I work with. I've met some in my own city and a number of others at symposiums or conferences. We have such crazy schedules, we have to sometimes grab quick sessions with each other. A guy would have to be a saint to put up with me. Monogamy is not part of my vocabulary.

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• rdberg1957
  
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  Feb 12, 2010 4:59 PM GMT

  It may seem like forever--it is harder for gay men to meet guys who they are attracted to and who are compatible. Even young attractive guys like you. You live in my city--there are lots of social and athletic groups in town. Like to run? Front-Runners. Play volleyball? GLASS. Softball? Goodtime Softball league. Outdoor activities? You get the idea. There are lots of groups. Volleyballers range in age from 18-60, with most players in their 20's.

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  Feb 12, 2010 6:19 PM GMT

  Hey thanks for your responses all...
  I do think theres a matter of chance involved in the whole thing, but i think the more I put myself out there the more likely I'll be to find guys I'm compatible with.
  I spose that i'm a bit skeptical of gay groups like gay running groups or gay softball. I dont mean to say this the wrong way but i feel like the people there will be the same crowd who frequents gay bars and that 1) I wont really be attracted to them b/c i'm not attracted (for the most part) to the gay bar crowd 2) they are just as likely to be looking for one night stands as people at the bars.
  I could be wrong or even very wrong, so if my assumptions are wrong enlighten me... just saying why I've been skeptical about those groups.
  
  There is a gay rugby team in my town and some people have asked me to join it, but Ive played them before and we won by like 75 points...
  Id rather play for a team that has a higher skill level. It seems that a lot of the guys on the gay team were really new to the sport and again not really my type.
  
  I feel like the best way to meet a guy would just be out in the open at the gym or though a friend or something... you know the way straight people meet haha
  but so far I've yet to have any luck in that department.

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  Feb 12, 2010 6:23 PM GMT

  Where and how do I meet quality guys?
  
  
  Oh information like that is gonna cost ya. ...

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  Feb 12, 2010 6:24 PM GMT

  thats how i got all my dates is either through here (Realjock) or my friends horrible matchmaking. either way i feel you on the gay groups and having them be the sme as the clubs, i feel the same way, ive been to those local groups and its like all the people that get written about in the "what turns u off about guys" thread go there.
  
  another thing that's worked for me is find a gay guy u get along with that you dont necessarily like romantically but yall could be friends and hang with him cuz where theres one gay, more are sure to follow.

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  Feb 12, 2010 6:25 PM GMT

  As weird as this is going to sound, looking for good guys, in my opinion, isn't always a good idea. The ones that are truly interested in you will come forward. From my experiences, the guys that I thought were not interested turned out to be the ones that were checking me out. That's how I met the guy I'm seeing now. Just when I thought he wasn't into me, he started to message me left and right. He wanted my attention. So I gave it to him.
  
  Stand out from the rest and just be yourself. There's always someone out there that's interested in you. At one point, they will come clean. All you can do is be patient and know that there is someone out there that's into you.

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• triniboy
  
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  Feb 12, 2010 6:27 PM GMT

  Just be yourself and relax. If you look for it, it tends to pass you by or you run after the wrong thing. It'll just happen naturally. Believe me there are way more misses than hits when it comes to relationships.

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  Feb 12, 2010 7:03 PM GMT

  there aren't any right venues or wrong venues to meet quality guys. luck of the draw, largely. i met my first serious long-term bf blitzed out of my mind at a club in south beach and met my current bf online. just don't fall into the trap of dismissing someone simply because of where or how you met.

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• pelotudo
  
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  Feb 12, 2010 7:56 PM GMT

  I feel the same way, dude. I'm considering joining a gay club/sports team, but again I have the same reservations as you do. But maybe it'll be different here in Chicago...

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• GQjock
  
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  Feb 12, 2010 9:02 PM GMT

  Depends on what you mean by a "quality" guy
  
  'cause one man's quality is another man's turn off
  
  But by quality you mean guys interested in the samethings you are
  you meet them by doing and going to the things you like to do
  
  If you like working out ... you meet guys in the gym
  If you like river rafting .... you meet them on a trip out to a river
  
  and so on and so on

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• drypin
  
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  Feb 13, 2010 12:23 AM GMT

  You ask your girlfriends to set you up.

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  Feb 13, 2010 1:08 AM GMT

  My current boyfriend of 3 years I met through a friend.
  
  
  Oh, I have to tell you this story. I was in BCIS class and I was minding my own business, and I sit in the middle of the class room. Well, Derek sat on the opposite side of the room from the teacher so he had to pass directly by me to go turn in his paper during class.
  
  
  While he was passing me to go to the teacher, I looked up. There stood this dark skinned man, police uniform on, great looking guy...when I looked up randomly-- our eyes met. I knew there was no reason for him to look at me. He's also one of those guys who you could NEVER tell was gay to save your life, but somehow I knew at that very moment that this guy was gay and that he really liked me. He just gave me that look that lasted a split second too long to be innocent. It lasted maybe a second.
  
  
  And though I could of said hello, I didn't...
  
  My friend messaged me on myspace and told me about a guy in my BCIS class who liked me about a week later. I knew in that instant that it was him.
  
  And 3 years later, well, it was at first sight.
  
  

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  Feb 13, 2010 1:13 AM GMT

  Soulasphyxi saidMy current boyfriend of 3 years I met through a friend.
  
  
  Oh, I have to tell you this story. I was in BCIS class and I was minding my own business, and I sit in the middle of the class room. Well, Derek sat on the opposite side of the room from the teacher so he had to pass directly by me to go turn in his paper during class.
  
  
  While he was passing me to go to the teacher, I looked up. There stood this dark skinned man, police uniform on, great looking guy...when I looked up randomly-- our eyes met. I knew there was no reason for him to look at me. He's also one of those guys who you could NEVER tell was gay to save your life, but somehow I knew at that very moment that this guy was gay and that he really liked me. He just gave me that look that lasted a split second too long to be innocent. It lasted maybe a second.
  
  
  And though I could of said hello, I didn't...
  
  My friend messaged me on myspace and told me about a guy in my BCIS class who liked me about a week later. I knew in that instant that it was him.
  
  And 3 years later, well, it was at first sight.
  
  

  
  
  I didn;t know you had yourself a boyfriend! That's such a great story! Yay!

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  Feb 15, 2010 2:00 PM GMT

  TheIStrat said

  Soulasphyxi saidMy current boyfriend of 3 years I met through a friend.
  
  
  Oh, I have to tell you this story. I was in BCIS class and I was minding my own business, and I sit in the middle of the class room. Well, Derek sat on the opposite side of the room from the teacher so he had to pass directly by me to go turn in his paper during class.
  
  
  While he was passing me to go to the teacher, I looked up. There stood this dark skinned man, police uniform on, great looking guy...when I looked up randomly-- our eyes met. I knew there was no reason for him to look at me. He's also one of those guys who you could NEVER tell was gay to save your life, but somehow I knew at that very moment that this guy was gay and that he really liked me. He just gave me that look that lasted a split second too long to be innocent. It lasted maybe a second.
  
  
  And though I could of said hello, I didn't...
  
  My friend messaged me on myspace and told me about a guy in my BCIS class who liked me about a week later. I knew in that instant that it was him.
  
  And 3 years later, well, it was at first sight.
  
  

  
  
  I didn;t know you had yourself a boyfriend! That's such a great story! Yay!

  Not really, but it is a really good story isn't it?
  
  LMAO

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  Feb 15, 2010 2:02 PM GMT

  I feel you on this question...all I have EVER EVER met is FLAKES. Its so annoying

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  Feb 15, 2010 2:07 PM GMT

  ChilaxinJOCK09 saidI feel you on this question...all I have EVER EVER met is FLAKES. Its so annoying

  
  
  well them flakes be wasting valuable time....instead of flaking out on u they should be bending u over and make u moan. ....so. carolina dudes must be fucked in the head

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