In all seriousness, there are times when I don't like coming home to an empty house, however, I'm the sort that doesn't want to make the concessions to a relationship unless it's "magic", and I've had one of those, so I know what it feels like.
The dilemma I face is frustrating to me sometimes. I'm so far from a typical 47 year old... I love what I do; my lifestyle; the way I look; it's so much part of me and what I've literally done for decades but, as Spock says, "In an insane society, a sane man must appear as insane in order to be regarded as sane." Thing is, I don't want to be a fat out of shape 40 something. To me, that sucks, and there's no need for it.
I'm very confident, and I don't need someone to worship, adore me, etc., which, because I'm an elite athlete, seems to be the angel folks come at me from. I'd love to have someone in my league, without a buttload of baggage; fit to built, bright, witty, out, fun, and not consumed by their sexuality.
The saying goes, be careful what you wish for. Yep.
I'm not turned on by a 50 year old fattie, but, I don't need the inexperience and drama of a 20 something, so, while many lust for me, I rarely go down that path. I'm basically a homebody.
Therein is the dilemma: standards.
I've thought about this many times over the years. I think humans are meant to be social creatures; not alone. Also, I don't have the misery of failed relationships, kids, a bum marriage / divorce, and so on, by choice, but, I also have spent a lot of time with my weights and with my computer.
I've always been ahead of popular culture: lifting when lifting wasn't cool; being metro when metro wasn't cool, and so on.
As I've thought about this, my logic takes me back to a spot where it's better to be a bit lonely, than to be at odds with someone, and average. That's just my take, but, one that isn't for everyone. Being excellent is not really hard. It just requires an understanding of what your goals are and a plan to excute them, along with discipline, means, and time.
I have friends who have amassed fortunes (millions) and a couple are real happy, but, the rest long for some of what I have. I suppose that's a case of "the grass is greener."
I wouldn't sweat the not having a mate thing. Regardless of your sexuality, which really shouldn't define you as a person, when the right person comes along, I firmly believe it's "magic."
I also believe that we create situations. I.e., if you don't wanna be a fat person, or a drinker, you don't hang out with those kind of people and so on. I believe we should plan for success. I've not made the money of some of my peers, but, I've done what I've loved doing, and done it well, but, there are concessions.
Strength comes from within.
When I was in college, I was whining to the Dean of Students, Dave Ellis. Dave said something to me (I was 18 at the time) that I've taken with me now for several decades: things are the way they are because we got them that way. Obviously, with the Butterfly Effect / Chaos Theory, the chips fall where they will, but, if you are at a radio station all night alone, you ain't gonna' meet hot guys, and hot chicks, and so on. We network; we shape our places. Any good sales person understands how that all works.
If you aren't happy / want a mate / fuck bud / close friend you have to make the concessions, and create the situation for that.
Like so many things, it's about choices, and discipline, and focus, and desire, and priorities.
My parents have been married 57 years. I can't imagine what it must be like for them. They seem happier as they grow older, especially after we four kids were out of college. Perhaps it's because they are from a different generation. I've thought about it a lot.
At the end of the day, my position on this is like so many other things: if you don't like it, change it. To me, that seems logical. I can be compassionate, but, I won't be an enabler. I.e., if you are fat, change it. If you are lonely, change it. If you hate your job, change it. I know...., it's not always a fast process, but, usually, it's pretty straight forward. Develop a plan, get disciplined, and execute.
While irishkcguy says "I complete me", and I believe there's much truth in that, I think part of the human condition is wanting to be held, told we are special, and to have another to confide our joys and sadness to.