First piece of advice: lose the attitude. Your post was only up for 9 hours in a sub-forum that isn't as frequently visited as some of the others. Disregarding the offers for help as hot air not only insulted the individuals who would be willing, but it will probably make them reluctant to help you out now.
Second. There has been plentiful of advice here. Yes there have been insults. While I am not excusing the insults, I will say they came out of frustration because you have repeatedly ignored sound advice and have been very dismissive (much like your second post on this thread). Do a search on the Losing Weight sub-forum, going back page by page and looking for the tips and compile them. Read and study them.
Third. I don't know what offers people made, but there is only so much that can be done giving advice through e-mail. This means that your training buddy will need you to be forthcoming with what you're doing. Whether or not you have been exercising. And if so, what kind of exercises. What have you been eating. I suggest you journalize your day to day habits on a daily planner.
Fourth. You said you're ready? Well, what are you waiting for? You don't need someone to tell you to go out for a walk. You know walking is healthy. Do it. You don't need to wait for someone to change the quality of the food in your fridge. Go out and buy new and healthier groceries. Don't think about pumping iron at the moment. You need to handle the basics, and do so by weening yourself off of bad habits and slowly adopting to good ones. When you reach a plateau on your progress, then you can think about going to the gym. But first you need to handle and be accustomed to what can be done at home.