Straight/Married Men on Gay Websites (My Very 1st Posting)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    Hello everyone. How are you doing? I hope you're doing extremely well.

    I was watching a Chinese talk show called A Date With Luyu (thank God for the English subtitles on my HD TV lol) last week when she was talking about married/straight men who are discreetly engaging in other affairs with other men outside of the marriage (not a surprise to me at all). One woman on the show discovered her husband's dirty little secret when she discovered that he was cheating on her when he was going on various gay websites looking for discreet hookups & one-night stands with other men (she knew his login and password). She then confronted her husband about it and he tried to cover it up, but she didn't want to hear it anymore and immediately filed for divorce (which I don't blame her for doing at all, and what's sad is that they have 5 children together, so obviously they don't need to know about it). This also makes me wonder most of the time why are straight/married men going on any gay website (not that it's a surprise to me). One straight guy on here contacted me and I read his profile which said, "not into guys.. just trying to get to know someone" (a 100% straight guy on a gay website - what's wrong with this picture?). When I asked him, "What is a 100% straight guy like yourself doing on a gay website?," he replied, "Sad that your only looking for friends but i couldn't pass up on a chance to get to know you" (I skipped out specific portions of the exchanged messages so it won't sound boring and dull). I really wanted to reply to him by saying, "What's really sad is downlow straight guys like yourself go on gay websites and just seek quick hookups," but I didn't say that so I said something else just to be nice. I love my straight friends too and they're so supportive of me, but I would never tell any straight man to go to a gay website at all (I'm not trying to make a big deal about this at all, but I'm just curious about it).

    Here's my question to all of you - do you think there are straight men on RealJock who are just looking for quick hookups? (although you can't tell because their pictures are private, and since they have no info on their profiles at all, they don't want to be discovered by others on here). If so, would you go for the opportunity to hook up with a straight guy?

    1. Yes
    2. HELL NO!
    3. Maybe
    4. I Don't Know

    I will tell you right now that my answer is number 2, because I'm not attracted to straight guys at all, and that will never, ever happen in a million years. Who does that?. I've always been curious about this. I'm probably going to tick off a lot of people about this, but I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I look forward to your answers. Take excellent care.

    With regards, Edwin Williams - Chicago, IL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 5:14 AM GMT
    Hey Edwin, Welcome to Realjock!

    Heheh, if they're on a gay website looking for action they're not straight, they're Bi. They're also in denial. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug of meninlove
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 7:36 AM GMT
    G'day matey.

    If they are on a gay and bisexual web site like this, they are not straight no matter how many wives and children they have had, they are pseudo heterosexuals, and bi to boot; nether straight or gay.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Feb 16, 2010 7:45 AM GMT
    Oh brother, there are a lot of guys on this site that damn sure have a fantasy of sleeping with a 'straight' guy. Some have even convinced themselves that this guy that wants to or just engaged in gay sex is not 'gay or even bi'; to which I say "Phooey!"

    In any event, kudos to you for not allowing some cheating coward to reduce you to a dirty secret.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 11:40 AM GMT
    I'm going to, if it's alright, add and take a fifth option of a simple no, just for the reason that no completely straight guy would hook up with another guy.

    I do find this thought particularly interesting "I will tell you right now that my answer is number 2, because I'm not attracted to straight guys at all"

    I think there is a misconception that there is a significant portion of the gay population attracted to people because they are straight. I dont know about you, but when talking about physical attraction, I am attracted to a guy long before I know whether he is gay straight or bi, really that bit doesn't come into the equation at all. Sure, after I find out they are most likely straight, I try to end that attraction as soon as possible, more for me than them, but just because you find that out doesn't mean the attractions going to disappear like someone flicked off a switch.

    Likewise with emotional attraction, it is most probably characteristics other than sexual orientation that attract you to a person, and whilst there may be some who purposely seek out straight guys for some ridiculous unattainable quality, I don't really think its as significant as people seem to make it out to be.

    So yea, a bit off point I know, but I am attracted to GUYS, if there's an opening where the guy I'm attracted to wants to do something aswell, I just might take it.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 16, 2010 11:48 AM GMT
    There are no str8 guys on any gay websites
    There might be closeted gay guys on gay websites and Bi guys on gay websites
    But there are no str8 guys on gay websites

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 11:52 AM GMT
    What is the point of hooking-up with a straight guy, knowing fairly well that he can never reciprocate any feelings that you may develop. Its not worth the drama and effort, atleast not for me.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 16, 2010 12:34 PM GMT
    This whole thread just rubs me the wrong way... icon_twisted.gif


    But I will say this, men who are confused or ashamed of their sexuality will use that very same sexuality to justify their down-low affairs, at least in their minds.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 12:53 PM GMT
    asnextdoor saidWhat is the point of hooking-up with a straight guy, knowing fairly well that he can never reciprocate any feelings that you may develop. Its not worth the drama and effort, atleast not for me.


    Why are you developing feelings for a trick? Which part of hookup don't you understand?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 12:55 PM GMT
    Hell Yes!

    A clean hole to pound is fun! But more importantly with married men, if you are going to do one, make sure he comes bearing gifts.

    No gifts - then no meat!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 1:07 PM GMT
    Gifts - you mean, like, flowers? Maybe some nylons and chocolate?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 1:21 PM GMT
    I heard the stories about Asian women who complaint their husbands didn't love or touch them. Their husbands were forced to marry the wives by their families members. Welcome to RJ
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 1:32 PM GMT
    Shit happens.icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 3:06 PM GMT
    GQjock saidThere are no str8 guys on any gay websites
    There might be closeted gay guys on gay websites and Bi guys on gay websites
    But there are no str8 guys on gay websites



    exactly...
    They may call themselves straight, for various reasons, but really who are we to judge?
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Feb 16, 2010 3:29 PM GMT
    I'm amazed at all the married bi or closeted gay men on this site. Not that it's totally surprising. But it's very prevalent. Some are very upfront about it and others not as much.

    Having been married (I've been divorced for 16 years), I would have loved to have had a site like this to explore my sexuality and work through my coming out process. So I understand what these guys are going through. And the ability to connect with a community of guys is very empowering to making change. I have offered much advice one-on-one with guys on what my experience was like and how to move through it to those wanting to take that journey.

    HOWEVER, I do NOT condone the "have your cake and eat it too" approach that many married men have of wanting to stay married but hookup with gay guys to satisfy their sexual needs. If you're married and gay (or bi), have some balls and do what is right. Have some integrity. If you vowed to LOVE, HONOR and OBEY your wife...you have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of partner you are being. And is that the man you want to be? Is that the kind of father you want to be (if you are a father)? And it doesn't just apply to married men...it applies to gay men in gay relationships too.

    That being said, everyone's circumstances are different. I don't like to judge other people's choices even when I don't agree with them because they are not for me. We each view relationships and sexual expression differently and we go into our relationships with different expectations and ground rules. We can be true to ourselves and honor the commitment we have made to our significant others...whatever that may be.

    Regardless, we all have to live with the choices we make.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2010 3:57 PM GMT
    Sounds like a very sad way to live one's life.

    And yes the thought of having sex with a straight guy is hot, but really, they can't suck dick or take it up the butt as well as a gay man can, so keep that in mind. It's not all it's cracked up to be.