The stare, the look

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2008 4:45 AM GMT
    Do you get stares when your walking,...I mean really stared at, I was at the airport and two guys were sitting and talking and as I passed by they stared from the start to finish and I stopped stretched out my arm and said, "do you like what you see?" and both looked away or I could be at the park or the Mall

    What does that mean? icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 16, 2008 4:55 AM GMT
    You have something on your face, your fly is open, they were closet cases, they wanted you for your body, they're secret agents and you are wanted for a secret mission/crime, they felt their masculinity was violated, or it probably meant nothing.

    People like to watch other people - unless they make a move, I wouldn't really worry about it.

    Now, if he keeps making eye contact - then that's another thing altogether. You may just want to say Hi at that point and see what happens.

    Otherwise, don't worry about it.
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    Jan 16, 2008 5:05 AM GMT
    No my fly wasn't open and there's nothing on my face, I check myself b4 I leave the house but thanks J for that,...yeah I shouldn't worry, weird thou. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 16, 2008 12:34 PM GMT
    They may have been hoping that you have a wide stance.
  • HndsmKansan

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    Jan 16, 2008 12:41 PM GMT
    I know what you mean.... I was in a restaurant with my bf a couple of years ago and had a couple of guys pass by several times (one much worse than the other). I knew immediately something was up. Mentioned it to my bf and while he thought I was imagining it at first... it was clear by the time I got stared at when they were leaving that it was 2 gay guys....

    My bf was really put off when they left, he wanted to go out after them and tell them off.
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    Jan 16, 2008 12:51 PM GMT
    I am trying to say this in a nice tone of voice. So read it like I am talking sincerely.

    Americans are really LAME that way. Who cares if they stare at you? I hate how anti social and uptight Americans are. I am sorry but starring is not dangerous in any way. CHILL OUTicon_exclaim.gif I love to stare at strangers.
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    Jan 16, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    Ain't nothing like going to the buffet in a sleeveless shirt.
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    Jan 16, 2008 5:53 PM GMT
    all right, here's my take - because i did this the other day (made my way through the weight room just to get a look at this guy, he was huge and i wanted to get a closer look)

    if you get stared at, be thankful - 9 out of 10 times it means you've taken pretty good care of yourself and you're being admired. unless you get touched, don't worry about it - enjoy it.

    i long for the day i get stares

    btw, if i see any one you guys on here in public, i'm staring

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    Jan 16, 2008 11:06 PM GMT
    Happens all the time, but I notice it the most when I'm in my car or walking across campus. I chalk it up to an overactive and overcomplimentary imagination on my part.
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    Jan 16, 2008 11:23 PM GMT
    Unless it's something totally creepy, and it almost always isn't. . . be happy when you're stared at, it is probably a compliment to your looks and/or body. Nothing wrong with that.
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    Jan 17, 2008 12:04 AM GMT
    I get stares all the time. Sometimes, the person will work up the nerve to walk up to me and compliment my hair, my eyes, something I'm wearing, or if they've heard me talking or singing, my voice.

    I also tend to stare sometimes. It might be because I like your shoes or your shirt... or I might like your hair... or you might have a beautiful face... or maybe you look like someone I know and I'm trying to figure out if you're really that person before I say something and make a fool of myself. I always stare at beauty because I really appreciate it, so any of you guys would definitely get stared at.

    When I was younger it used to bug me to get stared at, but that was because I had self-esteem issues back then and was hyper-sensitive to that kind of thing. Now, I enjoy it. Unless they're staring at you in a hateful way, or in a way that makes you think they want to beat you up, don't worry about it. Take it as a compliment that you look hot that day and keep walking.
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    Jan 19, 2008 3:18 AM GMT
    maybe if you had a photo on your profile, the answers you hope for may come easy... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • justinlee86

    Posts: 501

    Jan 19, 2008 3:30 AM GMT
    Well I just moved to Denver and it doesnt happen as often here...but when I lived in Albuquerque I used to get stared at constantly. I think a lot of time guys think to themselves "I wonder if I can take him?"

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    Jan 19, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    Ppl stare....its no biggie...like everyone says...take it as a compliment unless they do something to make u uncomforable. Of course if they stare for TOO long (like a few minutes)...then i tend to go "huh?" or get creeped out.
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    Jan 19, 2008 7:43 AM GMT
    gigman17b saidI am trying to say this in a nice tone of voice. So read it like I am talking sincerely.

    Americans are really LAME that way. Who cares if they stare at you? I hate how anti social and uptight Americans are. I am sorry but starring is not dangerous in any way. CHILL OUTicon_exclaim.gif I love to stare at strangers.
    What are you, from Spain?

    Sadly, I don't have this problem. Only females ever look at me all google-y eyed. Then they find out I'm gay and want me to solve their emotional basketcase.
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    Jan 19, 2008 8:40 AM GMT
    Try walking down Palm Canyon in Palm Springs amongst the fat tourists from Ohio (sorry you hot guys in Ohio - but you KNOW what I'm talking about) with your 5'8" 200#+ partner and a couple of your larger buddies from the gym - maybe 4 of us totaling about 875-900 pounds of male beef on the hoof in tank tops.... you get stares. You get women in polyester sneering and talking about steroids. You get nervous smiles from the Marines on weekend leave from 29 Palms. You get slackjawed wonderment from overweight guys 5 years younger who look 20 years older. You get little kids who either are scared shitless or think your partner looks like a superhero.

    Fortunately for me, I'm somewhat deaf in my left ear, so I don't hear all of it. My partner does, though, and it ticks him off sometimes. It's probably just as well I don't hear it, 'cause people insult my Dave at their peril. He's far too wonderful to me to let him be assailed by their bullshit.

    Now, on the other hand, he was working over in Palm Desert on El Paseo (the Rodeo Drive of the desert) and when we was almost finished, he walked past the Starbuck's and a table of extremely hot guys wanted him to join them.... so not all stares are bad. ;)
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    Jan 20, 2008 2:04 PM GMT
    Last night, I went to the mall with a friend to pick something up, and we stopped on a Starbucks to get a drink. While I was waiting, my friend told me that the guy at the counter who rung us up kept looking at me. I thought my friend was crazy, but when I turned my head, the guy was looking at me, and then quickly turned away. My friend laughed, and told me that the guy started "checking me out" again as soon as I turned away.

    Who knows...
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    Jan 20, 2008 2:21 PM GMT
    It happens to me so often it doesn't bother me at all - I chock it up to being 6'2" - blond/blue. I've been told over and over I resemble John Schneider - an actor about my age - for years I've heard that. Also - I never consider myself tall - I don't even think about it, but sometimes when I see a guy who is taller than I am, I feel short!

    I take some of the staring as a compliment - maybe those guys are wondering what my workout regime is, so if they ask me - I'm totally cool with talking with them.
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    Jan 20, 2008 2:41 PM GMT
    Oh yeah, big time!

    I draw allot of attention from my hair, posture, looks and style. I got used to it at a very young age when I was a Punk and then Skinhead. People would really gawk at me, and sometimes point and grimace, lol

    When I'm outside I generally march through the civilian world, that tends to draw some attention too.

    Gevit2u said: "I stopped stretched out my arm and said, "do you like what you see?" and both looked away..."

    I've noticed this too, and I'd like some input on this. When I make eye contact with guys, the hetero guys will nod, say hey, etc, but gay guys get shy and tend to put their heads down or look away. Without fail, this happens and I don't exactly know why.

    I stay away from gay clubs and bars because I get major eyes there, but nobody comes up and speaks to me. They keep a distance that feels voyeuristic to me and that makes me feel very uncomfortable.
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    Jan 20, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
    I think I am pretty anonymous but apparently not. My partner points out that when I start talking in a restaurant or public place that people stop at other tables and listen to what I am talking about. We have pretty much stopped eating out over this (not a bad thing because I would rather eat at home).

    I get a lot of attention in public but it surely isn't for the reason that I would give any of you guys attention. Honestly, I have never been able to put my finger on the reason.

    When I do public speaking or participate on a panel I am usually the guy everyone comes up to afterwards.

    I think I am so used to my own cockeyed view of the world that it seems normal to me but isn't to others.

    Cheers,
    Terry
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    Jan 20, 2008 7:32 PM GMT
    DD78, I think their insecure about themselves, that if they come up to talk 2 u u'll probably brush them off, ur way to HOT 2 touch. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 20, 2008 7:42 PM GMT
    It's they're as in they are.

    Let's see what you look like, so that we can make an informed remark. Oh, jeeze...it's a pictureless.

    Hard telling. Maybe you just look "gay." Maybe you're ugly. Maybe you walk funny. Who knows?

    I just ask guys what side of the fence they like to play on. It's 2008.

    KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) is a really good method.

    If people want to look, that's fine. It comes with the territory. All the rest of that stuff is THEIR baggage, and not mine.
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    Jan 20, 2008 7:51 PM GMT
    i never get stares...I am usually in the way of people staring at someone else. vicon_smile.gifv
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    Jan 20, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
    Devildog78 said

    I stay away from gay clubs and bars because I get major eyes there, but nobody comes up and speaks to me. They keep a distance that feels voyeuristic to me and that makes me feel very uncomfortable.


    I know what you mean. They will take turns making nervous glances over their shoulder at me while they are huddled in little groups like wildebeest eying a lion or hyena on the prowl. Sometimes I just want to sneak up and yell "BOO!"
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    Jan 20, 2008 8:16 PM GMT
    I love staring at people. I stare at cute guys of course. But I like to look at what people wear. I love to look at people who have something special. I just love staring.

    But I wish I was as confident as you guys are! Dear Lord. I get lots of looks, but I don't relate them to me being cute. It can be that I am just tall, have nice or weird clothes or something unusual. I like people looking though. As long as they don't start laughing afterwards.