What is it about you that tells you you are masculine?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    I editted the title of this thread. It was "Why do masculine guys think they're masculine?".

    This is inspired by the resurrection of the "why do feminine guys get mad..." thread.

    I remember the first time I heard my recorded talking voice. It was even more awful to me than my recoreded singing voice. In my head cavity, when I talk, I don't hear what I hear in recordings. In my head, I sound a lot like my father, who had a real tough guy bad Bronx street way of sounding. I don't hear sibilance, I don't hear lilt. I always thought I'd sounded masculine on the outside of my head. I was surprised at how I sounded from the other side of my mouth. I'm always reminded of this when I hear a guy say how massssculine he is. I'd never argue the point with a guy on a 1 to 1 basis, but, I always wish at those times to have a little tape recorder with me so I could record and play it back for him. It'd be an interesting experiment to secretly record and play back a few hours of video to a guy who demands that he is masssculine. They'd be surpised, probably, by how many mannerisms they exhibit that observed in any other guy would say to them 'fem'.

    Never once in my whole life have I ever been made aware by others that I demonstrate outward effeminate behavior or mannerisms. When I came out, some friends felt compelled to tell me I didn't sound gay (among many other of their, er, compliments).

    When I see pictures of myself as a kid, I have to wonder how on Earth I wasn't beat up every day of my childhood for being so affected. I see it like mad in all my pictures, every syllable I utter. And I recognize it very easily in masssculine men. It's a good thing not to fool yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 1:20 PM GMT
    I think that's all quite true, McGay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 1:54 PM GMT
    I went on a date a while ago and the guy was a vegetarian wanna be vegan

    I was like........Sorry but real men eat flesh.

    True story icon_rolleyes.gif

    apologies to celticmuscle
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 2:09 PM GMT
    Self-defining masc guys are just afraid of being called gay. It is nauseating seeing it tried to be covered up with "I am breaking stereotypes". No, not really; you are just actually making femmy-gays look worse in people's eyes.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 2:19 PM GMT
    Pinny saidSelf-defining masc guys are just afraid of being called gay. It is nauseating seeing it tried to be covered up with "I am breaking stereotypes". No, not really; you are just actually making femmy-gays look worse in people's eyes.





    icon_idea.gif

    Sorry Mcgay, I have to agree with him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 2:26 PM GMT
    Rod, I think the gist of my post supports Pinny's post.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 2:34 PM GMT
    McGay saidRod, I think the gist of my post supports Pinny's post.



    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 2:46 PM GMT
    "Why do masculine guys think they're masculine?"

    Because we are, Blanche, we are. (That's a joke, people.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    Another thread created to troll responses....the asburdity of all this is that there seems to be some thinking by some on realjock that masculinity is somehow a bad thingicon_rolleyes.gif Why are some people so afraid of masculinity that they have to rationalize why some gays are that way.

    Why cant people be who they are and fit in with the crowd who they are most comfortable with. This goes for fems, masc and the incredibly large spectrum in between. Personally I dont like feminine guys. It does not make me a bad person. They just do not appeal to me and I do not have a lot in common or have the same perspective as them. I think the same would apply to them who would not be interested in most of the thing that i do that they would think was pretty stupid and roll their eyes at...and I would not expect them to.

    The feminine part of the gay community has basically been the stereotype but geez that does not mean all of us are like that and it does not mean that all of us need to act like that to prove our gay worthiness in others eyes. We are all different. Its such a wide spectrum. People talk about gay brotherhood and sticking together..huh? I dont get that. Everyone is different, we all come from different background and cultures. Saying gay is some sort of community that we need to strictly adhere to is like saying that all straights because of their sexuality have all the same thinking. Love how people continually tell others how they should act or think.

    The original poster seemingly wants to declare that no gay guy is masculine. Well should we abolish the word from the dictionary. Maybe he thinks only straights can be masculine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:09 PM GMT
    masculinity for me is how you carry yourself, are you proud, and confident without being a douche? If yes then thats a point for masc.



    Masculinity is all about perception and it easily fades when a lot of guys get into a comfortabble setting.

    I think some guys would almost be shocked or embarassed if you recorded them on camera... time to wip out your swishy, lispy, eye rolling, finger snapping, but wiggling attributes counter.

    We can all be a bit fem or a lot. We can all be a bit masculine or a lot.

    I do like my man to be a man, but if there wasn't a softness to go along with it then it's too much. moderation is key so don't worry if your voice gets an octive higher evverytime u get excited, or if you catch yourself singing something campy becuase that's who you are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    Not at all. I'm just wondering what convinces a guy who says he's masculine, that he is. In my limited experience, I have yet to consider a guy masculine who's so much as declared to me that he is. And here, by masculine, I'm saying someone without affectation. People often have no idea how they sound or look to others. Is masculinity a self-defined thing or is it what we think others think of us? I have no dislike of masculinity, I'm sure I have some of that in my own character makeup, but equally, I have no dislike of femininity, in myself oo in others. I guess I'm remarking on people's own lack of self awareness. I'm sure that within an hour's time, I could pick up on at least a half dozen examples of a self-identified masculine guy's mannerisms that would not be called masculine by anyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:29 PM GMT
    You're clearly more intelligent than the vast majority of blokes on here.

    Big mincey poofs, all of em, especially the "masculine" ones.

    Seriously, though, I've learned to be "me" as I've gotten older. And I acknowledge and respect that in others.

    I had this "friend" (HUGE inverted commas there) who has bleached hair and so much botox he looks like the ginger bird off Desperate Housewives.

    Anyway, he considers me "straight acting (*shudder*) and once, when I was dancing to a Kylie Minogue song, said, with queeny venom "I hate gay men like you. You think you're so straight but you're not."

    I had never pretended to be anything other than who I am. He, on the other hand, is so camp it's like he's trying!!

    If that makes sense?

    I also have a very straight male mate (best mate ever in fact), who's shagged more women than I've had hot dinners, but who sounds as camp when he speaks as (from what you say above) you do ;-)

    I could write an essay on this topic but can't be arsed.

    Be yourselves peeps. And remember, muscley "masculine" dudes ... don't kid yerselves ... I can smell it on ya!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    Personally I dont like feminine guys.

    Says the man who likes Eurythmics and Kate Bush, lol.

    Nah, just kidding, look, seriosuly, I'm messaing about, honestly, I love Kate Bush, she's wicked, so shut up.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 18, 2010 3:39 PM GMT
    I perceive myself to be a fairly restrained person. I don't think I'm overly masculine or feminine according to our societal stereotypes. I just try to be me.

    I find it off putting when I am around someone who appears to have embraced the stereotypes and it's being genuine, be that an overly feminine guy or an overly masculine guy. But again, it's my perception and that doesn't mean it's the truth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:41 PM GMT

    WTF McGay.....don't do this to me.......I have your goodbye gift in hand! Instead of buying a new walker I got you a gift.

    Ok i'll take it back and buy depends ;)

    Eagermuscle No that is not a joke!!!!

    Stomp Stomp opens creek slams door.... reopens shouts back " you silly Fems"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    We don't think about it. We just are
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Feb 18, 2010 3:42 PM GMT
    A masculine guy has no need to announce it. Back in the Marines, when I was first promoted to corporal, a wise Gunnery Sergeant pulled me aside and said "A real leader doesn't have to verbalize that they are a leader. The minute you stand in front of someone and say 'Dammit, I'm in charge here', you aren't and never have been." Same rule applies to this...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:43 PM GMT
    McGay saidNot at all. I'm just wondering what convinces a guy who says he's masculine, that he is. In my limited experience, I have yet to consider a guy masculine who's so much as declared to me that he is. And here, by masculine, I'm saying someone without affectation. People often have no idea how they sound or look to others. Is masculinity a self-defined thing or is it what we think others think of us? I have no dislike of masculinity, I'm sure I have some of that in my own character makeup, but equally, I have no dislike of femininity, in myself oo in others. I guess I'm remarking on people's own lack of self awareness. I'm sure that within an hour's time, I could pick up on at least a half dozen examples of a self-identified masculine guy's mannerisms that would not be called masculine by anyone.


    masculinity and femininity are both socialised traits, just like any outward behaviour, it's psych 101. nobody is naturally this or that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:46 PM GMT
    I'll try to rephrase, again, as I'm not really a great communicator.

    What about you tells you that you are masculine?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:46 PM GMT
    You are largely missing the point RuJock. IF you have a penis, you are masculine, period. Any sort of socially constructed bravado that people adhere to and thus try to establish as a norm for a sexuality is at the very base superficial and incorrect.

    The point that McGay and I (and many others) are making is that those who take a "Masc4Masc" approach are inherently (with NO exception) alienating, denigrating, and only furthering a stereotype that the addressee claims to be fighting by taking up the "gay cross" to bear on his shoulders.


    There is nothing redemptive nor logical when someone says, posts, writes, "Yes I am gay, but I am not your standard gay". Are we proud of being "men" but not "standard" men or "humans" but not "standard" humans?

    People who claim the above are not breaking down barriers just reinforcing them.

    I wrote too much, people aren't going to read it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    MadeNUSA saidWe don't think about it. We just are

    And does this make you a better man, gay, person than those who aren't?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    So here's the thing, you see that "Pinny"?

    I'd shag him in most of his pics, except for the one where he's holding the banana. What's that shit? Doesn't do it for me. Too mincey.

    That may well be my own internalised homophobia there, you see. Exacty.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 3:54 PM GMT
    Pinny said
    MadeNUSA saidWe don't think about it. We just are

    And does this make you a better man, gay, person than those who aren't?


    And besides, we oh so do "think about it". You little liar.
  • darryaz

    Posts: 186

    Feb 18, 2010 4:02 PM GMT
    I dated a really femmy guy once. Over dinner, he informed me that he is so masculine-acting that nobody has any idea he is gay (he was serious).

    My drink came out my nose I laughed so hard.

    I guess my point is that we should all be honest about who we are. I'm not the world's most masculine guy....but not the girliest either. But I manage to function in the corporate world and when I was single dated a variety of guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2010 4:04 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Brit_Bloke said[/cite]You're clearly more intelligent than the vast majority of blokes on here.

    Be careful here he doesn't need anymore propping up! He already has a false sense of security icon_lol.gif


    I also have a very straight male mate (best mate ever in fact), who's shagged more women than I've had hot dinners, but who sounds as camp when he speaks as (from what you say above) you do ;-)

    Yep know what you mean. I have coffee ever morning at starfucks with 5 mid 40's straight married guys. I call them The straight man's sewing circle group to their face. When they get going you can't tell them from a group of drag queens at a drag queen ball. Every once in a while i have to tell them to butch it up! I tell them I have a image to keep up and I get more women then they do! Go figure!!!!

    Ok McGay I am done if your not leaving I am! I am finished out of here gone split vanished Brit Bloke's poof poof flying dust, see my tracks ciao happy trails bye Miss Calibush where ever you are!!! icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_redface.gif