when you were in an LTR, did you think it was going to last forever?

  • Hunter9

    Posts: 1039

    Feb 21, 2010 1:33 AM GMT
    ...or did you figure it was going to run its course and you just enjoyed it while it lasted?

    just curious really
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    Feb 21, 2010 4:16 AM GMT
    I always assumed it was going to end
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    Feb 21, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    I still am and yes, I do.

    I think we have a good thing going. We try to make each other happy, respect each other, can deal with conflict effectively and have no external powers working against us.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Feb 21, 2010 5:00 AM GMT
    I thought we'd last forever, we dated for 14years...but things happen...I'd be lying if i said i didnt miss him but he's gotta get himself together.....
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    Feb 21, 2010 7:31 AM GMT
    without a doubt I hoped and wanted us to last forever...and 15 years is a big chunk of forever...

    after a year plus of counseling we finally agreed that we had reached the point where we were better apart than we were together
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    Feb 21, 2010 1:00 PM GMT
    Ghen saidI always assumed it was going to end

    Assume that it's going to end and you'll start acting accordingly.
    Assume that it won't and you'll act accordingly.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 21, 2010 1:25 PM GMT
    Yes, when I was with my first BF. I was very young and naive. I'm older now and know better. I realize that people can grow apart, you or he can meet another person by chance that will change the course of your lives, or you both can come to realize after a year or so your not the right guys for each other. I actually believe that you can find someone that will be with you til the end of your days(if your very lucky). I also believe that most relationships expire before a person's life span does. That's the pessimistic Scorpio in meicon_evil.gificon_lol.gif
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    Feb 21, 2010 1:35 PM GMT
    I'm currently in a 10+ year relationship and I feel like this is for keeps.

    All the previous relationships lasted a few months at the most and it was maybe around the 18 month point that I started thinking this was the one.
  • Gonlrdy

    Posts: 14

    Feb 21, 2010 1:46 PM GMT
    Take it as it comes and work on it. Don't be thinking about forever, there is enough to do between now and Christmas.icon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 21, 2010 1:47 PM GMT
    Every single time....but you both have to have the same high level commitment or it won't work. I'm definitely hoping this is the last time I will feel that way and I really do hope my relationship stands the test of time.
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    Feb 21, 2010 2:30 PM GMT
    Nothing lasts forever. Everything dies. And even if a couple do remain together for the whole of this life, there's a reason why marriage vows include the line, "till death do us part".

    My point? You should cherish every moment you have with those you love, and, to answer your question, yes, enjoy it while it lasts. Because something will pull you apart eventually, whether that's the end of the relationship in terms of a conventional break-up, or the old Grim Reaper coming to snatch one of you away.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 21, 2010 2:37 PM GMT
    My words exactly Brit Bloke!
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    Feb 21, 2010 2:48 PM GMT
    I do not believe in the theory of "forever", that's a fantasy/fairy tale. However I do just take it day by day. Things change. People change. Your wants, needs and desires change and so will theirs. People come in & out of your life for certain reasons and for certain amount of times and if you're blessed enough to find and to be with someone to ride out ALL of those changes with with then you have a GREAT thing. Other than that, I believe in just taking it day by day and see where it goes, if it's 5 minutes or 55 years, they touched me in some way and I them.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 21, 2010 2:56 PM GMT
    After 11 years, it may not be forever, but I've never really been "single" in the gay sense (I was involved with my bf before I ever came out or accepted who I was). I don't know if it will last forever, but it has been successful.
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    Feb 21, 2010 3:42 PM GMT

    Hey Brit_Bloke, my we do seem to have a thing for each other, eh?

    "Nothing lasts forever. Everything dies. And even if a couple do remain together for the whole of this life, there's a reason why marriage vows include the line, "till death do us part"."

    That line just means to us that one will go first, and the other eventually follow.
    If the other doesn't find new love, and we hope that whichever one of us left behind does, then it our belief that Shakespeare's quote applies when we've both crossed over.
    "Journeys end in lovers meeting"

    -Doug
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    Feb 21, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    Hiya.

    Lol, that's a whole different discussion which could go on forever. Will you reunite as angels in the sky, or will you end up setpping on your reincarnated partner when he's a cockroah?

    F*ck knows ;-)
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    Feb 21, 2010 3:54 PM GMT

    ROFL!!! zzzziing! Good one! icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 21, 2010 3:55 PM GMT
    My opinion:

    No relationship is easy. There are peaks and valleys. To enter a relationship with the thought that is will eventually end is a self fulfilling prophecy. When I teach my students and especially when I coach, if a student tells me they can’t do something, my immediate response is, “you are probably right.” Why set yourself up to fail? Why not have a little faith and think more optimistically with the CAN DO rather than the CAN NOT.

    The true measure of a relationship is not how you handle the peaks, but more how you work through the valleys. This is of course if both people want the same goal.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 21, 2010 3:59 PM GMT
    I always thought: If he plays his cards right and if he is lucky, it could be forever. But as you know, gay men never play their cards right.
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    Feb 21, 2010 4:03 PM GMT
    bernd saidI still am and yes, I do.

    I think we have a good thing going. We try to make each other happy, respect each other, can deal with conflict effectively and have no external powers working against us.


    I like this alot. This seems like a very solid relationship. This is how it's supposed to look like..
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    Feb 21, 2010 4:08 PM GMT
    enjoy it while it lasts,,,cuz it ain't gonna
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    Feb 21, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    There seems to be an awful lot of cynicism here. I agree with PE Teacher - why set yourself up to fail? Not everyone is of the mindset in a relationship that its going to eventually end, and why would you even want to think about it? It isn't something you predetermine going into it. You just try to live each day with open communication, a positive attitude, and lots of unconditional love. Being thankful to have someone there to share your life with and who returns the same to you. Love is patient and true love never dies. Just my two cents for what its worth.
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    Feb 21, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    Leaning to be here and now is a big challenge for everyone! Contemplating the future and living in the future or the past and you lost today! You can end up losing a life time!

    I have been through "til death do us part" Loved that first " Forever and the Second and the ??????.

    As B_B said the old grim reaper will get you he has " Time on his side"

    Enjoy every day and aspect of your life and if you have someone in it enjoy it. It will end when it ends.

    Meninlove you guys don't have to wait to be Angles you are there now!
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Feb 21, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    I wouldn't be in an LTR if I didn't want it to be a LTR

  • Feb 21, 2010 4:48 PM GMT
    The first relationship I had I thought it would last forever and that there was nothing that could come between us! The old saying . . . young and dum and full of come. Second relationship I went in a little cautious but after in there got blinded by my love and . . . well needless to say third time . . . now it is hope for the best prepare for the worst and if it last is a miracle from god and if it doesn't stand up brush yourself off and hope for the best next time around.
    steve