Is my buddy BI like me?

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    Feb 22, 2010 1:37 AM GMT
    hey guys, I'm new to this site so i hope you guys can help me out. i have been working out with a buddy of mine for a while. He does not know I am bi and neither do any of my other friends. I have never been with a dude, but am definately curious about it. anyway...

    he and i have recently exchanged some texts and other things in which i think he bi or atleast curous about it.

    a few months ago he sent me a text that looked like a bunch of bananas but they were cocks... then he and i are always calling eachother "gay" or "homo" on texts messages. we workout all the time together but have never even crossed the line of talking about being with a guy. i was at his house last night just chillin watchin UFC unleashed and he had his hands down his sweat pants just rubbing... i dont think he knew i was looking. i have caught him rubbing his junk in the car before. not nessesarily jerking, but just rubbing slowly. i am not sure what to think. we are always talking about girls, so i am confused. i cant stop thinking about how it would be to have a DL situation with him...

    anyone have any thoughts?
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    Feb 22, 2010 2:22 AM GMT
    A few thoughts and a little drool rolling down my chin.

    I don't find the talking about girls all that confusing. Probably more of comfort zone thing when two curious guys are hanging out. Have you ever asked him if he'd let another guy play with his cock? Ask him something along that line just to see what he'd say. Humor is another good way to break the ice. Don't try to hide it when you notice with his hands down his pants. Use it as an opportunity to make a joke. Good luck!
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    Feb 22, 2010 4:22 AM GMT
    I hear what you're saying. I had a situation like this a couple of times and I was so wrong about the signals I was getting, in other words I just couldn't believe my good fortune. I thought I was imagining the signals, so I didn't act on them. Opportunity lost! Later I found out for certain my friend (thinking I was straight) was actually wanting to start something. He was so hot and masculine - I could not believe my gaydar. I am very sorry I did not strike when the fire was hot. Don't let that happen to you. Don't be hasty, but give it some thought - and see if your buddy isn't testing the water with you - wanting to start something with you that could be good.
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    Feb 22, 2010 11:00 AM GMT
    Thanks guys. I guess i don't have any clue how to ask him about guys. He is probably thinking the same thing. I'm affraid that if i say something and I'm wrong then it wi screw up our friendship. Feel free to private message me if u have ideas. I can give u more details about our history. I need help here. Thanks.....
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    Feb 22, 2010 11:57 AM GMT
    Ask him if he has straight porn to watch. You know the answer
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    Feb 22, 2010 12:10 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI hear what you're saying. I had a situation like this a couple of times and I was so wrong about the signals I was getting, in other words I just couldn't believe my good fortune. I thought I was imagining the signals, so I didn't act on them. Opportunity lost! Later I found out for certain my friend (thinking I was straight) was actually wanting to start something. He was so hot and masculine - I could not believe my gaydar. I am very sorry I did not strike when the fire was hot. Don't let that happen to you. Don't be hasty, but give it some thought - and see if your buddy isn't testing the water with you - wanting to start something with you that could be good.
    icon_cool.gif


    wow.. I know exactly how you feel. mine moved to singapore icon_sad.gif
  • thatonedude21

    Posts: 223

    Feb 22, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    this is like one of my favorite fantasies lol.. I haven't done this shit since like 8th grade.. ugh
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 22, 2010 12:41 PM GMT
    audiboston saidThanks guys. I guess i don't have any clue how to ask him about guys. He is probably thinking the same thing. I'm affraid that if i say something and I'm wrong then it wi screw up our friendship. Feel free to private message me if u have ideas. I can give u more details about our history. I need help here. Thanks.....



    Is he really your friend if he abandons you when the two of you find out more about each other? Most stories like yours don't end in the worse-case-scenario. At worse, he's straight, but still cool with you. At best...your fantasy fulfilled. Usually hypotheticals break the ice real well. Good luck...and keep us updated!
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    Feb 22, 2010 1:42 PM GMT
    Be careful not to project your desires onto him.... he could be bi.... but you could also want him so badly that you're seeing things that aren't there.

    If you wanna find out... go have a few beers with him. lol. That will be sure to break the ice. icon_smile.gif
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    Feb 22, 2010 2:14 PM GMT
    well the next time that he does that ask him is that what you do when you want to get my attention and see what and how far will I let you get to first base and try for a home run are you just want to see if I will fall far the bait and see if we got something for each others I want to try it so let do it
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 22, 2010 4:59 PM GMT
    bodypart saidwell the next time that he does that ask him is that what you do when you want to get my attention and see what and how far will I let you get to first base and try for a home run are you just want to see if I will fall far the bait and see if we got something for each others I want to try it so let do it




    Hmmmm...that went into first person, real quick...
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    Feb 22, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    I. just get confused with he whole thing because we talk about chicks a lot too, but he always manages to make reference to something like penis' or jerking off or being horny. It just seems odd sometimes in his timing. Maybe I'm looking for something that isn't there. He is in his late twenties and bounces from chick to chick. For a guy that hot, I can't belive he doesn't find a hot chick and settle down. See my dilema guys?
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    Feb 23, 2010 12:27 AM GMT
    Ive always taken the subtle cock rub as an invitation to join, next time you guys are watching the HOTTIES on UFC, and he starts to rub himself, try rubbing yourself and see what happens, maybe he's been trying to send you some hidden signals because he's just as confused as you are this... if he reacts positively then YAY!! if he doesn't like that you have your hand in your pants say you had an itch and call him gay for watching you while you relieved yourself...
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    Feb 23, 2010 12:40 AM GMT


    ...and this is all the weirdness that will ensue from it.....icon_cool.gif

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    Feb 23, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    tell the knob your bi or homo and get it over with, worst case he stops being mates with you which will happen if you try to start something on him and he aint interested.

    Best case, he's kewl with you, your obsession with him fads and you just keep being great friends.

    good case, you get a fuck.
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    Feb 23, 2010 2:50 AM GMT
    How about doing something when you're both super drunk
    theres always the,sorry i was drunk excuse....
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    Feb 23, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    Does he ever touch you in anyway? An unbelievably hot guy struck up a conversation with me recently and i didn't think much of it and then a day later he kinda of slapped me in the abs. The last time this happened to me i was oblivious to it too but when that dude bumped into me several more times I finally decided to act on it and moved in for the kill. Both times my move was very appreciated and it was all that was needed to get things going.
  • Shiv66

    Posts: 55

    Feb 23, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    I agree this isn't a situation to be passed up, and as someone who has probably too much experience with bi men -- I'm dating a 25-year-old married guy now -- you do things the old fashioned way:

    You get drunk together, you watch porn. If you can find some bi porn to slip in there, great. You calm your pulse, be a man, reach over, start something. Should work out. Easy on the kissing the first time out, he might not like that. But he may -- the guy I'm with now loves it. But the open sesame is always booze.

    Good luck. Sounds hot. Also sounds like a sure thing. Go for it.
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    Feb 23, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    I would take the "playing with his junk" in front of u as a sign to open some dialogue about the "junk". Use it to break the ice in some way next time and c what reaction u get. U may just b surprised. I think he's looking for some opening from u to make the next move.
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    Feb 23, 2010 4:07 AM GMT
    PAJohn saidSorry to say it but I find nothing in the OP's description of his friend to indicate that the guy might be gay or bi.


    Agreed. He's got his hand down his pants while he sits on his couch and uses "gay" and "homo" as a tongue-in-cheek pejorative...sounds like every straight guy aged 15-30 I've ever met.

    Best of luck though. keep us posted.
  • Manhood69

    Posts: 58

    Feb 23, 2010 4:29 AM GMT
    The next time he starts rubbing or stroking himself, I would grab mine through my pants and start stroking mine as well. I might not make eye contact at first. But, definitely let him see you fondling yourself. I think things will heat up quickly and at the very least it might turn into a mutual jerking session and probably more.
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    Feb 26, 2010 2:19 PM GMT
    I honestly think that the jokes about him getting it on with another guy, are a bad idea. I have known a couple bi guys and they get super defensive even if you joke, even if you thought they would be fine. I like the idea of the few beers, go out have a good time in a quieter bar where women wont be an issue... then, start talking about dating, mention a gay friend or something and see how he reacts. And if you dont have any gay friend stories, make one up. haha.
  • daveindenver

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    Mar 15, 2010 8:01 PM GMT
    like the song says...."its better to regret something youve done that to regret something you havent done" ha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2010 9:02 AM GMT
    well My fave thing is to whip out my latest straight porn and "show off" the new dvd, "man check out how this chick takes a dick..I'd like to______" etc...Get him really boned up till it's totally obvious, call attention to how horny it makes you...see if he says he is too. If he's like ya man I'ma have to take care of this....THAT'S YOUR OPERTUNITY!!!!!!! play it cool and straight, a guys more likely to fool around if your not out he's not out and you both know nothing about the other being potentially homo, bi etc....n e ways so If he's like, "man Ima have to take care of this" or something close play around with it...if you've seen his dick b4 for some other reason (shower or he just likes to whip it out when he's drunk) then offer to let him jerk with you in the same room...if he even looks at you stroking hes interested it's an invitation...if not you gotta see him cum so it's a win win icon_smile.gif...but if he does then offer something along the lines of..."dude sure wish my chick was here for some head" idk something involving head..."ya man this jerkin off things not as good as some pussy" head etc...offer a trade at this point depending how cool you think he is with it and what exactly you want try, "man...well I'm not gay or anything, but I gotta get this beast off, and a mouths a mouth right? I'll blow you if you blow me?" Usually works for me...well it did till I came out. GAWD it was fun playin with straight boys. I can't wait to move meet new people, go back in the closet and troll the gym for new hunks to potentially convert... icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 07, 2010 9:24 AM GMT
    joshnyc said

    ...and this is all the weirdness that will ensue from it.....icon_cool.gif



    I once had a tryst with one of my musician friends... he'd never done anything with a guy before but he was really comfortable with me, so we're still friends after, no wierdness at all