Why I Love Being Single Again

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    Hello everyone. How are you doing? I hope you're doing very well.

    I've been single for 3 years since the passing of my ex-boyfriend on Christmas Day of 2006, but just because I'm single again doesn't mean I'm looking to get into another relationship, and this is the main question people keep bombarding me with. I've remained celibate and have no regrets about it at all. I love my single life very much because I don't have to answer to anybody. Plus, I do what I want on my own terms, not theirs. Furthermore, I'm extremely independent and self-sufficient, and ever since I got promoted on my job, I'm an extremely busy person and I stay out of the dating game. I take care of me and me only (I know it sounds selfish to most of you, but that's who I am).

    Before the untimely passing of Steve (the name of my deceased ex-boyfriend) we were so in love with each other and we were inseparable (especially in bed lol, and what surprised me the most is when he said, "I want to bottom for you baby," and I wasn't going to the first time because he was strictly a top, but a passionate one, and he did an excellent job of taking it all up the booty. He was in total ecstasy when I screwed him hard, and yes, we used protection all of the time), but at the same time, we weren't clingy to each other either. We both had a sabbatical relationship when we would spend time apart from each other (I know you're thinking it sound bad, but it's not what you think), because we knew each other so well it was alright to be alone (and no, we never cheated on each other at all).

    I wish people would respect my choice of being celibate permanently, because people who keep asking me, "Why do you not seek love?" or keep saying to me "It's so sad that you're seeking just friendship" makes me irate, and I'm NOT desperate for another relationship at all. If others are seeking booty calls, quick hookups, friends with benefits, one-night stands or various sex partners, that's okay for them and I highly respect it, but I have too much self-respect to get into those (I know there are a lot of horndogs on here and I completely get that they're looking for quick hookups, but I'm NOT one of those horndogs at all).

    With regards, Edwin Williams - Chicago, IL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    When you're ready to fall in love again, you'll know. In the meantime, enjoy the good things in life without any distractions.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2010 5:22 AM GMT
    I'm sorry for your loss. Blessings.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Feb 22, 2010 5:26 AM GMT
    Did you not feel that way being single before your bf?
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Feb 22, 2010 8:08 AM GMT
    Sorry for your Loss...I don't want to sound stupid but I will eventually...I was basically really shock when I found you were actually a Bottom, lol icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2010 11:44 AM GMT
    Sorry for your loss. I have been celibate for 3 yr . I am enjoy single
  • MusicMan87

    Posts: 305

    Feb 22, 2010 2:57 PM GMT
    Don't let anyone get you down! Keep doing what makes you happy

    <3,
    Jake
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    Dismissing Attachment Style- "I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me."

    One of Bartholomew's (1990) Attachment Styles

    That sounds a lot like you.
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    Feb 22, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    edwinwilliams2009 saidHello everyone. How are you doing? I hope you're doing very well.

    I've been single for 3 years since the passing of my ex-boyfriend on Christmas Day of 2006, but just because I'm single again doesn't mean I'm looking to get into another relationship, and this is the main question people keep bombarding me with. I've remained celibate and have no regrets about it at all. I love my single life very much because I don't have to answer to anybody. Plus, I do what I want on my own terms, not theirs. Furthermore, I'm extremely independent and self-sufficient, and ever since I got promoted on my job, I'm an extremely busy person and I stay out of the dating game. I take care of me and me only (I know it sounds selfish to most of you, but that's who I am).

    Before the untimely passing of Steve (the name of my deceased ex-boyfriend) we were so in love with each other and we were inseparable (especially in bed lol, and what surprised me the most is when he said, "I want to bottom for you baby," and I wasn't going to the first time because he was strictly a top, but a passionate one, and he did an excellent job of taking it all up the booty. He was in total ecstasy when I screwed him hard, and yes, we used protection all of the time), but at the same time, we weren't clingy to each other either. We both had a sabbatical relationship when we would spend time apart from each other (I know you're thinking it sound bad, but it's not what you think), because we knew each other so well it was alright to be alone (and no, we never cheated on each other at all).

    I wish people would respect my choice of being celibate permanently, because people who keep asking me, "Why do you not seek love?" or keep saying to me "It's so sad that you're seeking just friendship" makes me irate, and I'm NOT desperate for another relationship at all. If others are seeking booty calls, quick hookups, friends with benefits, one-night stands or various sex partners, that's okay for them and I highly respect it, but I have too much self-respect to get into those (I know there are a lot of horndogs on here and I completely get that they're looking for quick hookups, but I'm NOT one of those horndogs at all).

    With regards, Edwin Williams - Chicago, IL


    Lol, no offense, and I am sorry for your loss, but what seemed like a very "aaaaw" email kinda got spoiled when you digressed onto the topic of taking things up the booty!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2010 8:09 PM GMT
    First I'm so sorry for you loss.
    Secondly, I LOVE being single, however I don't think I'd go so far as to be celibate, but I understand why you would choose that. I enjoy dating and I know guys like getting to know me. I like dating more so because I don't do hookups and only have sex with guys I date. "Love"? I have a lot of love in my life and I would never discount how wonderful the feeling of being "in love" is, but life can be very full without it.

    I think most people are lonely and afraid of being alone, they frequently project that fear on others. I perceive that anyway. I just smile and nod like they are right and just go about my merry way.
    I love having company but I also love my own.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Feb 23, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    edwinwilliams2009 saidI love my single life very much because I don't have to answer to anybody. Plus, I do what I want on my own terms, not theirs. Furthermore, I'm extremely independent and self-sufficient, and ever since I got promoted on my job, I'm an extremely busy person and I stay out of the dating game. I take care of me and me only (I know it sounds selfish to most of you, but that's who I am).


    Are you sure you're looking for friendship?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2010 6:10 AM GMT
    As others have said, I'm sorry for your loss.
    I can also sympathize with your sentimate, I enjoy being single too!

    However, the only question I have is that if you're not looking for love, does that mean you'll turn away all who are interested in you, or just casually allow them to persue you?

    Just curious ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2010 7:55 AM GMT
    Actually, I'm a bit confused. In this post, you said that you want to be celibate and single and yet your profile reads that you will marry a man for love as long as he is stable.

    No disrepect here but it's conflicting. Share with us what you REALLY want?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2010 8:09 AM GMT
    edwinwilliams2009 said
    Brit_Bloke said
    edwinwilliams2009 saidHello everyone. How are you doing? I hope you're doing very well.

    I've been single for 3 years since the passing of my ex-boyfriend on Christmas Day of 2006, but just because I'm single again doesn't mean I'm looking to get into another relationship, and this is the main question people keep bombarding me with. I've remained celibate and have no regrets about it at all. I love my single life very much because I don't have to answer to anybody. Plus, I do what I want on my own terms, not theirs. Furthermore, I'm extremely independent and self-sufficient, and ever since I got promoted on my job, I'm an extremely busy person and I stay out of the dating game. I take care of me and me only (I know it sounds selfish to most of you, but that's who I am).

    Before the untimely passing of Steve (the name of my deceased ex-boyfriend) we were so in love with each other and we were inseparable (especially in bed lol, and what surprised me the most is when he said, "I want to bottom for you baby," and I wasn't going to the first time because he was strictly a top, but a passionate one, and he did an excellent job of taking it all up the booty. He was in total ecstasy when I screwed him hard, and yes, we used protection all of the time), but at the same time, we weren't clingy to each other either. We both had a sabbatical relationship when we would spend time apart from each other (I know you're thinking it sound bad, but it's not what you think), because we knew each other so well it was alright to be alone (and no, we never cheated on each other at all).

    I wish people would respect my choice of being celibate permanently, because people who keep asking me, "Why do you not seek love?" or keep saying to me "It's so sad that you're seeking just friendship" makes me irate, and I'm NOT desperate for another relationship at all. If others are seeking booty calls, quick hookups, friends with benefits, one-night stands or various sex partners, that's okay for them and I highly respect it, but I have too much self-respect to get into those (I know there are a lot of horndogs on here and I completely get that they're looking for quick hookups, but I'm NOT one of those horndogs at all).

    With regards, Edwin Williams - Chicago, IL


    Lol, no offense, and I am sorry for your loss, but what seemed like a very "aaaaw" email kinda got spoiled when you digressed onto the topic of taking things up the booty!


    So what?


    Lol, the perfect line to win any argument, besides "Am I bothered?". Seriously.

    It's just that your words were quite moving and eloquent and then the sudden "taking it all up the booty ... screwed him long and hard" just seemed slightly out of context.

    Again, not a critiscism, just an observation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2010 6:59 PM GMT
    I didn't read any replies -- just your post. I think you're amazing... and I'm sorry to hear the news from 2006 icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 23, 2010 7:01 PM GMT
    bigeasydude saidActually, I'm a bit confused. In this post, you said that you want to be celibate and single and yet your profile reads that you will marry a man for love as long as he is stable.

    No disrepect here but it's conflicting. Share with us what you REALLY want?

    Think...
    "I love you... DON'T TOUCH ME."
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 23, 2010 7:25 PM GMT
    It sounds like you need time to heal, and possibly in time you will love again. There is no hurry. Even though my last LTR wasn't as great as your's, I still wondered how I could go to that point again, where I could feel someone is sharing one life with me. It takes time for some.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2010 7:30 PM GMT
    Sorry for your lose, and I hope to have a great relationship like the one you had someday icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    Maybe you feel like you don't want to go through the pain of another relationship. Understandable really.