Beginning age limit to date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 8:52 AM GMT
    Hi guys, I just wanted to know at random what is the youngest acceptable age for you to date. I recently hooked up with a 'boy' who claimed he was 19 but later confessed that he is actually 17 when he decided in after our second meeting that I am "not an ass which is so unlike the others" he met! I am literally twice his ageicon_surprised.gif
    Should this be a problem? We've already exhanged "I luv yous, btw, for the cheap thrill of it. I like him a lot 'cos he's re-introduced me to soft sex... and I am so fond of all things retro!
    Please advise.icon_neutral.gif
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Jan 17, 2008 1:44 PM GMT
    I'm not trying to be an ass... but isn't that illegal? I thought you couldn't have sex with anyone under 18? Or is it 17 in some states? I don't know, 17 is wayyyyyy to young for me. I usually try and date guys that are at least old enough to go out and grab a beer with me if we choose to do so. So 21 is as low as I go usually. I'm 28 so I don't think that 7 years is too much of a difference. I guess as long as he's mature then it's ok... I personally love older guys, but someone twice my age might be pushing it just a bit.
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    Jan 17, 2008 3:00 PM GMT
    when I was 18 my youngest interest was 17 but I'm 21 and I would never imagine doing that again. I tend to stay in the 26-45 range.
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    Jan 17, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
    Golly, no problem at all. I can tell you probably have TONS in common with a 17 year old.
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    Jan 17, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
    Umm the age of consent is 18 in very few states. A little less than half have 16 as the age of consent, and a little less than half have 17 as the age of consent. The small remainder make up the group that has 18 for an age of consent.

    So no, it's not illegal. Probably. Check the age of consent laws in that state.

    There was a guy I hung out with that considered us dating who was 67--I was 18 at the time. I didn't consider that dating and tried to get him to see as much (and eventually just stopped talking to him), but I would condone it for people who can get it to work.
  • cowboyupnorth

    Posts: 264

    Jan 17, 2008 3:21 PM GMT
    Personally I have dated 19 yr olds but I would not advocate that. I have to agree with blackjock and think that it is preferable for a date be old enough to go to the bar with me or have a drink at dinner.

    I would be very concerned about the law in your state and about how his family will interpret your actions/relationship. At 17 they may consider any sexual activity as rape. You do not want to be pulled into a legal situation.

    When I date young men I need proof that they are in college. If I was dating a man not in college I would have to know what job he had, I refuse to end up on dateline, lol. Is this guy still in HS, if so I think you are way out of line? Other then teaching him about life, and being sexually attracted to each other what do you have in common?

    Good Luck and I hope he has a birthday or two next week,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 3:43 PM GMT
    well, here in NY it's legal to date 17, and i have (once), but it does feel a lot like you have your nephew for the weekend.

    but guys, the fellow posing the question lives in the united arab emirates. i'm not sure what the legal and social consequences of that would be... maybe it's just fine, but maybe it's death? icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 17, 2008 3:48 PM GMT
    ok, zimitar, i did some checking... the age of consent where you live is 18, and it isn't clear whether gay or lesbian sex is even legal at all. (maybe you can clarify for us?)

    if it was me... i would (1) run away from this kid very fast, and (2) stop posting things like this on in the internet.

    and (3) if you're up for it -- become a gay rights activist. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 3:57 PM GMT
    And don't forget to renew your subscription to Archie Comics.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 4:02 PM GMT
    McGay saidAnd don't forget to renew your subscription to Archie Comics.


    and who ever said you weren't hip and with it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 4:03 PM GMT
    You leave my hips out of this, sonny. Where's my walker?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    Depends on the maturity level of both parties (if legality isn't an issue...). I've kind of been seeing a 21-year-old lately (I'm months from 30), and it works fine because, well, I act 21 more often than I act 30. Or he acts 30 more than he acts 21...or maybe we both act around 25. At any rate, as long as there's enough in common between you and nobody's breaking any laws...
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Jan 17, 2008 4:31 PM GMT
    Wow I guess I'm in the minority here, but I'm 43 and I absolutely cannot imagine dating anyone younger than about 35. I find I have nothing in common with kids that much younger than me. The sex can be fantastic, but then you have to TALK to the guy, and I find myself being dragged back into young person angst and drama all over again.

    When I was a kid, I always dated older guys. My first serious relationship was when I was 28. He was 40...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 4:49 PM GMT
    Please clarify:

    a. Date - to begin a relationship

    b. Date - to do naughty things with their naughty bits. To hook up. To do the Wild Monkey Dance.

    Laws vary in states, but even with a 17 year old age of consent, I just think that's wrong.

    Even a hookup with a kid (who might have a perfect ass, abs, etc.) under 19 or 20 is just kinda odd. I apply the same policy as places that sell cigarettes and CARD anyone who looks under 35. One guy really was 26, but he SERIOUSLY looked 17 (a very hot, muscular, athletic 17 - yum).

    DATING for real is a whole different thing. That involves conversation and activities other than sex. I think for each individual it depends on maturity level, but I'm starting to like guys closer to my age.

    And there are some older guys on here that are SOOO hot. Holy crap. I've never hooked up with an older guy before, but there are more than a few I'd love to have fun with.

    Dating is all personality. There are a lot of younger guys who are awesome and totally mature with a lot to offer. There are a lot of older guys "the right age" with great life stability who are dicks.

    Take it on a case-by-case basis. And stick to guys on here, they are awesome!
  • cowboyupnorth

    Posts: 264

    Jan 17, 2008 5:03 PM GMT
    JonnyFreestyle saidok, zimitar, i did some checking... the age of consent where you live is 18, and it isn't clear whether gay or lesbian sex is even legal at all. (maybe you can clarify for us?)

    if it was me... i would (1) run away from this kid very fast, and (2) stop posting things like this on in the internet.

    and (3) if you're up for it -- become a gay rights activist. icon_smile.gif


    Be careful about hurting this young man. back away slowly if you can. I had a friend who was 17 and fooled around with a 15 yr old. He states the 15 yr old initiated the event.When he backed off the kid ran crying and they considered him the sex predator.

    The young guy should not be devastated but you have to protect your self. if you know his age you are accountable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    Age is a big factor when dating and you should really consider how things might go with such a stretch in age plus he did lie to you and only after he got to know you a little better did he decide to tell you the truth about his age. To me that raises several red flags because age is something that women lie about, not guys, epecially young ones who are just beginning life. If his "thing" is older men then more power to him and more power to you for getting him but with such a huge difference in age things are gonna probably seem one-sided and I doubt you guys will have too many things in commom to keep the relationship afloat. I think in this situation you might want to reconsider dating him for the fact that it might be illegal and you could be pegged as a sexual predator. For some states the consenting age for sex is 16 but in your case it is 18 and if things go bad in this fairytale relationship you could find yourself in a heap of trouble. Maturity is a big thing too and apparently this 17 year old just doesn't cut it if he has to lie about his age. Also think about the things you can't do when around him like drinking or going to certain places.

    If a young male of the age of 17 has to lie about his age to get with someone older then him then I would definately be leary of him and I would have to wonder what else he has lied about. The same applies to older men who claim to be young. These type of actions are what makes it hard to trust to people in general and someone always gets hurt in some way.

    I hope hings work out for you and please be safe. I have a rule of not dealing with anyone intimately under the age of 21 as a minimum. I personally prefer guys near my age since we common ground.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jan 17, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    My advice:

    BE CAREFUL

    This could be an emotional minefield. You are much more mature than he is (hopefully) and what you might consider 'cheap thrills', he might consider something more serious.

    I think he is much too young for you to consider dating on a serious level, and it would probably be better if you didn't encourage his attentions. Because at that age he could attached to you way too easy.

    Good luck and be safe.

    Lozxx
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    Jan 17, 2008 5:46 PM GMT
    I'm 27 the last two I've dated have both been 18. The first one was 18 when we started talking and we didn't "do" anything until the night before his graduation. The second guy was 18 when we started talking but we didn't do much of anything together. I don't have an age limit either older or younger, as long as there is something there and they are old enough to make descisions about their life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2008 10:15 PM GMT
    I ma certain that I am way too old but my thought is that the only person a 17 year old should date is another 17 year old.

    Why on earth would I want to date a child? We have nothing but nothing but nothing in common.

    Also, legal or not that boys mama is gonna shoot your ass and I wouldn't blame her.

    Cowboy is right, posting this stuff on the Internet is just nuts.

    Take care of yourself.

    Cheers,
    Terry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2008 12:35 AM GMT
    OK, well...first... Age of consent laws do not apply to gay relations in most states due to various sodomy laws. This is something I learned from my lawyer roommate after watching a few episodes of "To Catch A Predator". icon_lol.gif

    As for the age question, I don't know.
    My last boyfriend was 24, and yes the age difference was a problem because he's still very immature.

    The last guy I dated is 25. He's actually a really awesome guy, but I could tell he wasn't into me, so I just let it go.

    Then again, I also dated a 40 year old who acted like a 19 year old.

    As long as we are on the same maturity level, it's cool with me.

  • Artesin

    Posts: 482

    Jan 18, 2008 6:20 AM GMT
    I'm messing around with someone thats 15 but looks 18 ish. It doesn't bother me. I started when I was like 13 /shrug, always went for people that were 20 just because I could pass for a higher age. However, looks are quite important to me, along with intelligence so I couldn't date someone who looked as if they were falling to peices even if they were the smartest person in the world. Vanity is strange that way. Dating a 17 year old shouldnt be an issue, in most states it is 16/17 + as far as age of consent goes, though age of consent is different for females and gay men, though they could mean nothing if your state imposes sodomy laws.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2008 6:56 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gif -

    I think that if you are over 18 you are an adult.

    I would not want to get involved with someone who could land me in jail.

    Yes, everyone knows that teenagers are sexually active.

    I have always thought it kind of odd that so many 'mainstream' gays would celebrate a 'Brian/Justin' relationship as being acceptable; especially when such an age disparity would be looked down upon even in 'straight/mainstream' culture.

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    Jan 19, 2008 3:32 AM GMT
    wow, i am overwhelmed by responses that made sense! whew! being a newbie on this site surely took time for me to track down this thread, but i know better what to do next timeicon_smile.gif

    this encounter made me feel like part of my innocence was somehow restored but at the expense of his. i guess i am emotionally stunted.

    thanks guys for enlightening me. xx
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    Jan 19, 2008 6:40 AM GMT
    ITJock saidI have always thought it kind of odd that so many 'mainstream' gays would celebrate a 'Brian/Justin' relationship as being acceptable; especially when such an age disparity would be looked down upon even in 'straight/mainstream' culture.
    Well, it's not like Justin was 12 or 13 or anything. I think the general idea is that we're supposed to be less restricted by societal superstition than straights are, and that a relative newbie could still date a really hot guy.

    At least, I have a very low opinion of 'mainstream' culture and tend to agree to the lumping of 'straight/' before it. So I tend to like to think we're better than it.