VGL and Sexy. Really?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    Hey guys, not sure if this topic has been brought up before, but I just got the idea and wanted to see what everyone else thinks.

    I was recently bored and trolling around craigslist in the Men Seeking Men section, and it surprised me how many guys (with or without pictures) declared themselves as VGL or Sexy. (VGL - very good looking). Now, is it just me, or shouldnt we be allowed to make this decision about them ourselves?

    This is similar to the several posts demanding masc or str8 acting men, or declaring they were masculine or str8 acting looking for the same.

    Really? Why dont you let me decide how sexy you are? Why dont you let me decide how Masculine you are. icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:10 PM GMT
    I guess they have high self esteems.

    I always thought you sorta had to have that if you're going to look for sex with random people.


    ...ones that could be make sort of judgment about you and your sexual performance. No?
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    If you're VGL, why are you having to advertise on Craigslist?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    The best way is a site like hotornot.com or facethejury.com.

    If a person doesn't post a picture and declares themselves VGL, I immediately know they aren't the sort of quality person I'd like to know. I block them if they're on a site like this. It tells me they're lazy, insecure, or disillusioned, not to mentioned ill-mannered. I prefer to let others make their own judgments on me without declaring myself one way or another.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:13 PM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidIf you're VGL, why are you having to advertise on Craigslist?


    Exactly... Hmm. But, there are good looking guys who are sluts, so its not to say they are ugly haha. I just think they are so full of themself they think thats the hookline, "I'm VGL..." Yeah. Whatever.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:18 PM GMT
    Boy_Vegas said
    Caslon13000 saidIf you're VGL, why are you having to advertise on Craigslist?


    Exactly... Hmm. But, there are good looking guys who are sluts, so its not to say they are ugly haha. I just think they are so full of themself they think thats the hookline, "I'm VGL..." Yeah. Whatever.
    I'm so good looking I can get random people to do me.


    yeahhhhhh


    icon_cool.gif


    ... I think that's the logic. lolol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:20 PM GMT
    I think it's the same as any other type of advertising...you have to read between the lines. Like in real estate, "quaint" means very tiny, "charming fixer-up" means a shithole, etc. VGL, hung, sexy, intelligent, muscular, etc. are used to lure people in. No one is going to describe himself as average, not well endowed, stupid, or out of shape on Craigslist.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    I agree with you! I find it very amusing that people will post these details in the headline profile such as, VGL, Stud, Jock, Masculine, and Hot.
    When I was single and doing online dating I just laughed and never looked at these profiles. Nothing more is a turn off then someone who is so vain and conceded, it just ruins the whole thing. Usually there personality is so bland and it's all about them and how HOT they are.
    I always found that the guy who was hot didn't know he was really hot!icon_idea.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 26, 2010 3:35 PM GMT
    "VGL" is just one of those "red flag" terms in a profile that is basically code for: "Hi, I have a Dissociative Depersonalization Disorder. Not only do I objectify myself, I will likely do the same to you.".
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 26, 2010 3:38 PM GMT
    I've always looked at it as an insecurity thing.

    I'm going to put the idea into your head to A) suggest that other people find me attractive, therefore you should or B) help get my foot into the door so I can use my lack of manners to guilt you into something you woudln't do otherwise.
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    Feb 26, 2010 3:51 PM GMT
    You're right. Sexiness is a perception viewed from others. To view him or herself as sexy are vain, shallow and annoying. The same goes for those who are not attractive but are so full of themselves. (In fact, one of 'em is on this thread but I'm not going to say who.)

    Everyone has a mental checklist of what makes a man or woman sexy and chances are, most of the people you meet are not hollywood hotties but attractive people who are secure, confident, likable, witty, intelligent, considerate and WITHOUT SELF-ABORPTION!

    I've dated both good-looking and average men and I have my best and worst for both. I found that if they spend too much time talking about themselves or look in the mirror constantly, they're just not into you or anyone around them for that matter.

    Bbling73 saidI always found that the guy who was hot didn't know he was really hot!icon_idea.gif


    icon_exclaim.gifBINGOicon_exclaim.gif





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:07 PM GMT
    My ex has VGL on his profile on dudesnude. Thing is, he is very good looking but his personality is just down right ugly. Wish I had seen that before we got in involved!icon_sad.gif
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:09 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said"VGL" is just one of those "red flag" terms in a profile that is basically code for: "Hi, I have a Dissociative Depersonalization Disorder. Not only do I objectify myself, I will likely do the same to you.".


    haha very true. The people who describe themselves as VGL def dont seem to be interested in much besides looks and sex... VGL= shallow and self absorbed.

    They're most likely not even hot either
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Feb 26, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    I think you're wrong.

    Forgive me for saying so, but if a guy wants to advertise himself as "very good looking," then that's fine. I would be more likely to click on his ad than someone else's. When I see "just an average guy here" on any online site, I immediately move on. I don't date average people. If someone has a good mind and a good body, chances are that he works at it. He's allowed to advertise it if he wants to.

    Where's the line, anyway? Is "Decent looking" ok?
    How about "Good looking?"
    "Very Good Looking?"
    "Model good looks and a photo spread to prove it?"

    Hmm...

    Also, for those of you who criticize craigslist people, I suggest you take another look. Perhaps you live in Minneapolis, New York, or some other gay mecca, and you find it easy to poke fun of people who resign to other methods of meeting people. Since you pay for your profile on Manhunt, I suppose that makes it less shady? I'm fortunate to live in a major metropolitan area, and so are you, but it's really not easy to meet other gay people in the distant 'burbs. Craigslist is free. You can use it for anything you want.

    Oh, and another thing: at least craigslist doesn't have a bullet list for pig play, fist fucking, water sports, leather, rough, and all that other shit. I don't judge anyone for their sexual curiosity. But you hold a shameful double standard when you troll around on manhunt or gay.com or adam4adam and then you stigmatize someone for posting on a less "sophisticated" site. Take a look in the mirror, fool. And then piss off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:22 PM GMT
    I like this guy above me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    Individuals who advertise their good looks turn me off. The worst are those who feel the need to include references to their alleged hotness in nicks and email handles. Some of those are just plain ridiculous. E.g. RiptHotStudMscl Not to mention the plain delusional. Those are a dime a dozen, unfortunately.

    It's like high school all over again.

    On the other hand, it does give one an indication as to what the individual's priorities and levels of maturity and self-awareness are, which can be helpful when deciding who to engage with.

    It's been my experience that sexy speaks for itself. Besides, it's also a state of mind. What's the point of being attractive if you can't work it? My ex never once mentioned his looks. He just was. And people took notice.

    Feasting on beauty is like feasting on candy bars. Sure, you get a rush, a powerful one at that. But it is more often than not short lived, and followed by an unpleasant crash.

    In French we say "moins on a de confiture, et plus on l'├ętale." Which, roughly translated, means that the less jam one has, the more one spreads it lol
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 26, 2010 4:30 PM GMT
    Dan has some great points, especially about the rural gay (as I have lived in both Montana and South Dakota, I'm totally in agreement).

    And honestly, if asked, I would say I'm very good looking.
    I base this both on how I feel right now (how can I not feel good after working so hard to get in shape) and what i hear from others (guess I didn't realise what a pig i was before)...


    however I dont really share this with others unless solicited.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 26, 2010 4:37 PM GMT
    I could not describe myself as either with a straight face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    I dunno, if you're trolling around the hookup section of Craigslist, why would you be passing by the "VGL" and "Jock" and "Sexy" descriptions? If you're looking for more depth, to get to know somebody for a long-term relationship, to find "the one," then you're on the wrong site. Same with Manhunt, or Grindr, or any other hookup site.

    So on Craigslist, nobody is writing five-page profiles of themselves. They write a few sentences at most about who they are, what they look like, what they are looking for, and what kind of guy they want. Yes, it's shallow. Hookup sites are shallow. Get over it.

    If you were on Craigslist because you were "bored," or "trolling," or curious, then why do you even give a shit what people write? If it's purely entertainment for you, you wouldn't care.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:42 PM GMT
    For obvious reasons (sales copy) if they have no pic.

    If they do have a pic, unless they're in the very rare (if non-existent) category of universally appealling, they're just setting themselves up for a few not-very-nice comments ...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:43 PM GMT
    One of my favorite online quotes: "I never thought I was good-looking until I started seeing pics of guys who think they are."

    Someone using labels like VGL or sexy on himself is, like Dan suggests, more likely to get me to click on the profile. However, it can be a double edged sword. Sure, I got to the profile, but if the person isn't really VGL or sexy it's a turn off b/c it looks like insecurity. On the other hand, if he really if VGL or sexy, then it raises questions of conceit. There is nothing sexier than confidence and nothing more a turn off than conceit, but that line can be very thin.
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    I feel like I'm going to get an STD just by typing the word "craigslist." Ehhh...
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    funny pictures
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    Feb 26, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    danisnotst8 saidAlso, for those of you who criticize craigslist people, I suggest you take another look. Perhaps you live in Minneapolis, New York, or some other gay mecca, and you find it easy to poke fun of people who resign to other methods of meeting people. Since you pay for your profile on Manhunt, I suppose that makes it less shady? I'm fortunate to live in a major metropolitan area, and so are you, but it's really not easy to meet other gay people in the distant 'burbs. Craigslist is free. You can use it for anything you want.




    djdorchester saidI dunno, if you're trolling around the hookup section of Craigslist, why would you be passing by the "VGL" and "Jock" and "Sexy" descriptions? If you're looking for more depth, to get to know somebody for a long-term relationship, to find "the one," then you're on the wrong site. Same with Manhunt, or Grindr, or any other hookup site.

    So on Craigslist, nobody is writing five-page profiles of themselves. They write a few sentences at most about who they are, what they look like, what they are looking for, and what kind of guy they want. Yes, it's shallow. Hookup sites are shallow. Get over it.

    If you were on Craigslist because you were "bored," or "trolling," or curious, then why do you even give a shit what people write? If it's purely entertainment for you, you wouldn't care.



    agreed
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 26, 2010 4:46 PM GMT
    It's true what they say: "The best don't advertise" and "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

    To Danisnotsr8: The "line" is crossed when you have to label yourself as VGL, GL, just average, etc. I could possibly understand it if no one could post pictures, but considering one or more pictures are included in the profile it should be obvious to the viewer if the guy is good looking or not.

    I can't recall ever coming across a profile of someone that labels himself as "VGL" and catching myself thinking: "Yes, this guy is VGL". Usually I think to myself, after viewing the pictures: "Wow, what the hell is this guy on? I need some". I usually consider them pretty pathetic at that point.

    Just as an FYI to guys that do label themselves as VGL: When you make a statement telling other people how you want them to feel or think about you, the usual response will be disbelief and weariness.