What should I do about my living situation?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2010 3:04 AM GMT
    So here's a prelude: I finally quit my dead end job only to find out that my replacement job falls through, but it's too late I've already been replaced at my old job. Today was my last day.

    Now the situation: As I'm working hard to schedule interviews through a temp agency my roommates (except for one who is my friend) decide to tell me now that although I didn't do anything illegal or wrong, they prefer I don't live in the house with them so they can replace me with one of their friends.

    They say if I choose to leave they'll pay for my rent for March, meaning I live for free for a month. But if I stay they hinted that they'll try to kick me out by saying "we don't want to complicate things." I know they can't kick me out legally as I've read through my rights and spoke with someone who works in the West Hollywood rent control department.

    Having said that I don't care for LA and I've always wanted to leave to New York or Chicago. So I feel like now is the opportunity to go. But I'm not the kind of person that just gets up and leaves and risks starting a new life. My savings was drained due to my dead end job that failed to fulfill all these promises of bonuses, raises, and commissions. So I feel like I should just get another job and save up before I move out. I don't want to move out again to another place in LA just to get up and leave to another city in an undetermined amount of time. Moreover, if the job situation doesn't work out I don't want to have to move around while I'm shifting jobs. Two unstable parts of my life is not fun.

    What do you think I should do? This is a total real life "choose your own adventure" and I feel like I'm a passive reader completely indecisive of what to do. My instant reaction is to stay here and let my roommates hate me (I have more important things to worry about then trying to become friends with people I live with) until I have enough financial buffer to move out. But maybe I'm afraid to take a risk and just move out and get a month's free rent. Not sure what to do here.

    [update] I think they want me to leave by MARCH 1st! They'd still give me rent for March but that means I have to find a place this weekend and move out. That's just ridiculous. I'm just going to stay.
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    Feb 27, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    To bad about your new job falling through. But one thing at a time. Give your roommates the finger and concentrate on finding a job. Without savings your breathing-room is pretty small. Or do you have job-prospects in other cities?
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    Feb 27, 2010 3:13 AM GMT
    No job-prospects in other cities. So it's not like I can make it in any other city any more than I can make it in this city. But at least here I have a living situation. I don't want to have to move out and then move again really soon.
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    Feb 27, 2010 4:25 AM GMT
    your risk is really here or there, you have the potential for change right now and the only thing holding you back is the fear of change.

    Regardless of if you have money now or later a move between states/countries is always a risk and a massive one.

    It'll be a risk what ever you do, if you have a great friend in either state that will be happy for you to stay with'em then move, otherwise you will end up waiting for the right moment and it'll never come until you decide to just do it.
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    Feb 27, 2010 4:35 AM GMT
    Altho you didnt list DC metro area as a city you wanted to move to, I would definitely consider it because the economy is generally good here. The Fed gov't and all its spending keeps things going here. There are companies always hiring to fulfull fed contract work. I dont know if your profession would allow you to take advantage of any jobs here. Just a suggestion.
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    Feb 27, 2010 4:36 AM GMT
    So what do you do, what CAN you do, what do you WANT to do for employment? LA's a pretty big place, lots of possibilities right there without moving, though I realize the job market right now is tight most everywhere.

    Ya know where there are jobs galore? Fargo, North Dakota! Don't laugh, I know it well. And that's not the only pocket of opportunity. What do you want to do for work?
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    Feb 27, 2010 4:42 AM GMT
    Those roomates sound like such Ass hats
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    Feb 27, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidSo what do you do, what CAN you do, what do you WANT to do for employment? LA's a pretty big place, lots of possibilities right there without moving, though I realize the job market right now is tight most everywhere.

    Ya know where there are jobs galore? Fargo, North Dakota! Don't laugh, I know it well. And that's not the only pocket of opportunity. What do you want to do for work?

    oh yeah,,,.there's a reason there are lots of jobs in Fargo, ND. ... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    Why don't you and your friend move away from those jackasses and move in together?

    Either that, or come to New Orleans. We're always looking for good people!
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    I feel kind of funny giving advice because I'm usually indecisive too, but here goes...

    My thought is that if you fall back into a long-term job situation in LA, you'll never take the chance and move to Chicago or NY. If you really, really want to move, now is the time to do it. From what you describe, your employment prospects are similar across all those job markets and there's nothing in particular tying you to LA.

    The beauty of the internet is that you can conduct job searches in any city from your current spot in LA. So, even if you're not financially able to move, you can still find jobs in Chicago and NYC. Yeah you may have to fly back and forth for interviews if you don't have anyone in those cities to shelter you. But you don't have to move there first.

    So, I say you should forget about what your current roommates want, focus on your bi-coastal job search, and try your damnedest to make it out of LA if that's what you really want. You have to focus on what's best for you at this point. Don't base any decisions on the wishes of people you don't care about.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:10 AM GMT
    As someone who has made a habit of "starting fresh" in a new city every few years, I'd say, take the risk! Consider the circumstances in LA to be destiny's little nudge in a new direction. Have confidence that you have the skills to make a new situation work! Find a cheap living situation in your city of choice, go there, and starting putting yourself out there. You won't wind up in the streets and you won't starve and interesting opportunities may well come your way if you give them a chance. And if not, you'll have had an interesting learning experience.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    what?

    A hurt bird and egomaniac asking the squirrels for advise?

    Like how many friends do you think you have here, there anywhere??

    They say porn is not even paying well now days icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    Hi guys thanks for the responses. And yes D.C. would actually be my third choice and I would move there in a heartbeat if I had a job offer.

    Kickstart, I would love to move now but I can't fly back and forth to interview if I don't have a place to live and I can't live anywhere if I don't have a job. So I just need a job to kickstart my savings account again until I leave. I do have a plan to do exactly what you suggest, but I want to do it on my own terms, but not by them kicking me out.

    Oh and here's the worst part. I think I misunderstood my roommates. I previously thought they said I can live here until April 1st and they'll pay my rent. But what I think they meant was I must leave by MARCH 1st but they'll give me the rent for March so I have that money to live anywhere free for a month. Same concept, except I have 3 days to act instead of over a month. I can't find any of them home right now, but if this is the case then I'm staying. I'm not going to try to find a new place to live in 3 days. That's just ridiculous.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:14 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidwhat?

    A hurt bird and egomaniac asking the squirrels for advise?

    Like how many friends do you think you have here??


    I have plenty on here. I have plenty of acquaintances. There's even a load of nice strangers. You don't know how many private conversations I have do you.

    Take a look at all the people above you that gave me advice. You are in the minority opinion. How does it feel to shoot blanks?
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:17 AM GMT
    JakeBenson saidHi guys thanks for the responses. And yes D.C. would actually be my third choice and I would move there in a heartbeat if I had a job offer.

    Maybe this can help: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wl/jobs/home

    But it usually takes months to get a job...well, a good job. Maybe you can get some kind of job, then do your serious job hunting. Good luck.

    Also, search Monster.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:22 AM GMT
    JakeBenson said
    Mystic_Man saidwhat?

    A hurt bird and egomaniac asking the squirrels for advise?

    Like how many friends do you think you have here??


    I have plenty on here. I have plenty of acquaintances. There's even a load of nice strangers. You don't know how many private conversations I have do you.

    Take a look at all the people above you that gave me advice. You are in the minority opinion. How does it feel to shoot blanks?


    I am so happy for you. However, now in your greatest time of need and desperation you come back to the very place where you have contributed nothing but mean spirited, harsh words and antagonistic behavior. You want me to feel sorry for you? You chopped down many when you were at the top of your hill. Now, down....it feels shitty...right? Maybe you will learn from this!!

    So, if you have plenty...why bug us with your issues...that's what I always got from you!! A bothered sense of superiority....LOL Gee sucks

    I counted only 5 so far....
  • Mikey77

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    Feb 27, 2010 5:23 AM GMT
    That's a tough situation. Unfortunately I think you need to stay in LA until you build your savings back up and have the ability to secure a job else where. Moving is expensive and so is rent in Chgo.

    I'm in a bit of the opposite dilemma...I want to relocate to southern CA but I've been with my company here for 11 years and don't want to leave them. There is a slim chance I could relocate and not change companies but thats a waiting game.

    Either way good luck!
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:24 AM GMT
    Caslon13000 said
    Red_Vespa saidSo what do you do, what CAN you do, what do you WANT to do for employment? LA's a pretty big place, lots of possibilities right there without moving, though I realize the job market right now is tight most everywhere.

    Ya know where there are jobs galore? Fargo, North Dakota! Don't laugh, I know it well. And that's not the only pocket of opportunity. What do you want to do for work?

    oh yeah,,,.there's a reason there are lots of jobs in Fargo, ND. ... icon_rolleyes.gif

    Funny, but uninformed. There are lots of jobs there because it's one of the fastest growing communities in the US, with the lowest relative unemployment rate. Even their housing market continues to expand, while the rest of the US has tanked. Do check your facts before you make your jokes, and sabotage the good advice I'm trying to give someone here, OK?
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:31 AM GMT
    What do you do for a living JB? Or what would like to be doing? Youre studying for your GRE? So grad school in the horizon?
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:33 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    Caslon13000 said
    Red_Vespa saidSo what do you do, what CAN you do, what do you WANT to do for employment? LA's a pretty big place, lots of possibilities right there without moving, though I realize the job market right now is tight most everywhere.

    Ya know where there are jobs galore? Fargo, North Dakota! Don't laugh, I know it well. And that's not the only pocket of opportunity. What do you want to do for work?

    oh yeah,,,.there's a reason there are lots of jobs in Fargo, ND. ... icon_rolleyes.gif

    Funny, but uninformed. There are lots of jobs there because it's one of the fastest growing communities in the US, with the lowest relative unemployment rate. Even their housing market continues to expand, while the rest of the US has tanked. Do check your facts before you make your jokes, and sabotage the good advice I'm trying to give someone here, OK?

    1) It was supposed to be funny

    2) I checked my facts. It has an avg high of 16 and low of -2 in January....doesnt reach the 80s until JULY.

    3) I doubt Fargo was gonna ever be seriously on his list. But it is still an option for him. Chill.

    4) I left LA unscathed.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    It's hard for me to give you advice without sounding like a insensitive person towards your situation but I'll try my best.

    First bit of advice. Never quit a job without knowing you are guaranteed another one and learn how to manage your finances better so in case of you being jobless for awhile you can still pay for things. Just because your jobless doesn't mean you are bill-less and they don't stop piling up. LOL.

    Second bit of advice. If you are living with people who you know can't kick you out legally but want you gone anyway for unknown reasons then it's best for you to just leave. They've made it clear that if you don't they will purposely complicate things for you. It could be my imagination but it sounds like they threatened you and then softened/sweetened the threat with the promise of paying rent for a month. Either way they want you gone so you might as well take advantage of their shallow kindness.

    Third bit of advice. If you are gonna move then move somewhere where you have plenty of job opportunities. The DC area has lots of opportunities depending on what you want to do and what your skills are.

    I sincerely wish you the best in your decision.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    Jake, I know the San Jose area is not on your short list, but there are tons of employment opportunities here in Silicon Valley. You sound like a good, funny, clean guy. If you want, and if it would help you out - I'd be willing to discuss renting you a bedroom and bath in my house. I'm just outside San Jose - in a 3200 sq. ft. four bedroom, 2 1/2 bath house. I'm a non-smoker, recently split from a LTR - the house and grounds are quiet. If this would help you, just drop me a note.

    On the other hand - if you are without roots and have been wanting to relocate to another city - this could be your shot. I know what it is to relocate. I did my residency in NY and it was a blast. I wouldn't trade my memories for the world.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:41 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidwhat?

    A hurt bird and egomaniac asking the squirrels for advise?

    Like how many friends do you think you have here, there anywhere??

    yeah, yeah, we all know Jake's RJ persona. But this is real-time serious and it is really insensitive to kick a guy when he is down.

    You got any helpful suggestions?
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:43 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidGet some back bone!!


    That's just what you would tell many who have you blocked now....

    I'll take that as a "no."

    Ignore him, Jake. I would think moving to another city with all its expenses is not a good idea. Surely, there are jobs where you live.
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    Feb 27, 2010 5:47 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidGet some back bone!!

    That's just what you would tell many who have you blocked now....


    Wow, well thanks for the advice. You have become just as obnoxious as I used to be about two years ago.

    Anyway, back to my topic...