Something To Consider With Your Partner, About Your Health...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2010 3:28 AM GMT
    An article about living wills, and what should be done when someone is critically ill. I faced this myself, when my partner was drying of PML, an AIDS-related disease. I knew he was ultimately terminal, but a temporary recovery and delay of his death was possible, for months or maybe even a year.

    When he started to go into a coma, I at first authorized a feeding tube and oxygen, since the doctors told me there was still a slim chance he could rally (I had gotten an emergency court order that made me his legal guardian, since we had failed to make that arrangement beforehand. My present partner & I have fully protected ourselves with the proper legal documents, which I recommend all couples here do)

    But then his vital signs started to fail, and the doctors assured me this was the end. I ordered his life support removed, per his living will. It was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever had to do, knowing I was sealing his fate. But it was his clear wish, set in writing, and that he'd expressed to me beforehand. It was my duty to carry it out, no matter how much it tore me apart to do it.

    And so he died in my arms, with some of our friends at his side. And this is what you must consider, when you live together, and have a partner. Hopefully not for many years for most of you here, but eventually... I do strongly recommend you act responsibly, and plan ahead.
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    Feb 27, 2010 7:56 AM GMT
    Although I have a (new) BF but he's not up to these tasks as neither are my totally disoriented best buds who are straight so I have a retainer w/my lawyer/his firm to rep. me and they said they'd aggressively see my wishes carried out. I do not trust my sneaky/greedy blood relatives. It's definitely best to discuss this w/the family and friends beforehand but someone has to be the legal decision maker and when you're rolling solo... I have found at least an interim solution I am happy with.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Feb 27, 2010 8:31 AM GMT

    aww this made me really sad. But it has def given me something to think about.
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    Feb 27, 2010 8:36 AM GMT
    my ex and I did the same thing, we had amounts of insurance set aside for eachother, we had our wishes in place incase something were to happen to one of us, and I felt it was a really great idea... until we broke up which then felt like a divorce changing all the paper work we had put in place to protect eachother to not protect the other... NIGHTMARE!!! So it is definitely a smart thing to do, just make sure you know that its going to be a forever thing, instead of until he cheats on you...