Does saying "I love you" during sex count?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    I'm currently in a LTR but remember when I was dating that I hadnsex with a couple of guys that would say "I love you" during sex and then apparently have no recollection of it afterwards.

    So what do y'all think - if a guy says he loves you for the first time during sex, does it count? Anyone here say it during sex when they don't really mean it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    I would have to say that you would break my heart, so it's good we've never met and that you haven't done this to me.

    In my opinion, yes it counts, and for me it would cause alot of internal complications (either because I was wanting you to say, or because I was terrified that you had). Try to keep that bomb to yourself, especially if you don't mean it. During sex or not, you should be paying enough attention to not fuck up that badly.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Feb 27, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
    Papa Roach doesn't seem to think so




    I wouldn't count it, its a heat of the moment kind of thing, I think

    Though I hate that people use it so freely
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
    CuriousJackNC saidI would have to say that you would break my heart, so it's good we've never met and that you haven't done this to me.

    In my opinion, yes it counts, and for me it would cause alot of internal complications (either because I was wanting you to say, or because I was terrified that you had). Try to keep that bomb to yourself, especially if you don't mean it. During sex or not, you should be paying enough attention to not fuck up that badly.
    .

    I agree. Just to clarify - it was the guys I was with and not me that did this. And yes, I did find it confusing and a bit painful when I realized that they didn't mean it and maybe didn't even realize saying it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 8:11 PM GMT
    I've told this story before here, that when I was topping a guy doggie style for the first time, he started screaming he loved me, and that I should get a U-Haul and move into his house the next day! How lesbionic! And right in the middle of the fuck! It made me go soft and I had to fake it. icon_razz.gif

    I threw on my clothes while he was in the bathroom, jumped onto my motorcycle outside like it was a horse in a western movie, and high-tailed it out of town while he stood naked at the door calling after me.

    My rules:

    1. Nobody says they love me in the middle of the first fuck

    2. We gotta spend some significant time together before we consider anything serious,

    3. Never compliment me. I HATE compliments. Give me a compliment and you're history. I consider all praise to be phony and self-serving, so don't try that trick with me.

    4. Tell me to my face what a fuck I am. I'm no masochist, not in any way into S&M. But I need a strong partner, who can tell me to get fucked, as I will to him. I'll trample all over a weak guy, I need someone as strong as me, to stand up to me, to slap me down when I need it. And who also can put up with me, just as strong, just as ballsey.

    My last 2 partners have been Italian; is that what Italian guys are?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 8:14 PM GMT
    I don't think it counts.

    Personally, I would only say it if I truly meant it, regardless of whether my underwear were around my ankles. But I know plenty of people don't have that much restraint. So, I choose only to count it when it is pre-meditated and not done in the heat of the moment.

    On a side note, have any of you dealt with people who manipulate you to say certain things during sex? For example, I once dated someone who waited until I was all eager, with a latex-clad penis, to ask me stuff like "Sooooo, where do you think we're headed?"

    I would never tolerate that sort of thing now. But I got played like a fiddle back then. Hahaha!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 8:15 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidPapa Roach doesn't seem to think so




    I wouldn't count it, its a heat of the moment kind of thing, I think

    Though I hate that people use it so freely
    .

    It seems some guys say it without realizing it or at least without realizing the confusion it can cause for the other guy. I agree it shouldn't be used so freely.

    I would be curious to know, though, whether there are guys on the site who have experienced this and just assume if someone tells them that they live them for the first time during sex that he doesn't mean it)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 8:29 PM GMT
    Saying I love you in the middle of the first fuck?

    If I've ever heard that I've always taken it to mean " I love the sex" or "I love what you are doing" or "I love how fantastic this is".......not I love you.

    Maybe someone has some kind of epiphany and says I love you and trys to convince you how much he really really means it.

    Bah.....humbung. They get an "A" for effort, But that's about it. I don't think its lying but it is wishful thinking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 8:41 PM GMT
    Doesn't count!.... even if you mean it, if you only say it in the middle of sex.....

    "LOVE" is complicated and is a "365/24/7" type of thing. LOVE doesn't always need to be stated, because it is always demonstrated! Love doesn't rise and fall or die with the size of your dick or the "depth of your pockets", or the length of your hair or the car you drive or where you reside, etc....it is a state of acceptance, understanding, happiness, and mutual support that doesn't need the heat of passion to be said, but it IS THE ESSENCE OF PASSION for your partner........ LOVE is intense, it can drive you crazy and possess and consume you, it can control, tame and discipline you, it can make you do things and be things greater than you ever intended or imagined.... icon_cool.gif
    ...LOVE is MORE THAN GOOD SEX......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidI've told this story before here, that when I was topping a guy doggie style for the first time, he started screaming he loved me, and that I should get a U-Haul and move into his house the next day! How lesbionic! And right in the middle of the fuck! It made me go soft and I had to fake it. icon_razz.gif

    I threw on my clothes while he was in the bathroom, jumped onto my motorcycle outside like it was a horse in a western movie, and high-tailed it out of town while he stood naked at the door calling after me.
    .
    icon_lol.gif

    Ha ha. That is just too funny. You just made my day!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    Nothing said in bed counts.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Feb 27, 2010 10:10 PM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidNothing said in bed counts.

    This is too funny,,but trueicon_lol.gif
    I cant tell you how many times i'v said YES to guys when they ask me ''IS THIS ASS MINE''? or when guys scream it's all yours to me when i'm topping......icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    Hmmmm tricky question....and here's the answer

    During foreplay......Yes absolutly

    In the 180 seconds pre orgasm or the proceeding 30 seconds....No you're off the hook

    Fyi, the same rule applies to marriage proposals
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidHmmmm tricky question....and here's the answer

    During foreplay......Yes absolutly

    In the 180 seconds pre orgasm or the proceeding 30 seconds....No you're off the hook

    Fyi, the same rule applies to marriage proposals


    HAHA!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    Saying I love you during sex counts just as much as it does when the dumbass says it just to get out of being in the dog house...worthless!
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Feb 27, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    jgymnast733 said
    Caslon13000 saidNothing said in bed counts.

    This is too funny,,but trueicon_lol.gif
    I cant tell you how many times i'v said YES to guys when they ask me ''IS THIS ASS MINE''? or when guys scream it's all yours to me when i'm topping......icon_eek.gif

    Okay, maybe not scream but moan at the height of extasy...icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    Well. I had this pulled on me more than a few times. Yes it stung when later I found out it was to them the same as saying, "wow".

    Mom (lol, my Mom) said (in particular about first-time language), "Remember, when the guy says he loves you he also loves ketchup." icon_wink.gificon_rolleyes.gif


    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:50 PM GMT
    It depends on 2 things:

    1) who you're speaking to when you say it, despite who you're with
    2) who you're fantasizing about when you're getting on with the same boring old fuck you've been banging forever (j/k babe)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    Did he have his toes crossed? icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 10:58 PM GMT
    obviously not lol the mind is in a total different realm during sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 11:34 PM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidNothing said in bed counts.


    A little of subject, but I have actually had some of my deepest and intimate conversations while in bed - but not while having sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 27, 2010 11:47 PM GMT
    If you don't mean it then don't say it!
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Feb 28, 2010 12:10 AM GMT
    sashaman saidI'm currently in a LTR but remember when I was dating that I hadnsex with a couple of guys that would say "I love you" during sex and then apparently have no recollection of it afterwards.

    So what do y'all think - if a guy says he loves you for the first time during sex, does it count? Anyone here say it during sex when they don't really mean it?
    Are you asking because your current lover does not say it to you enough?
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Feb 28, 2010 12:20 AM GMT
    I don't think its lying but it is wishful thinking.[/quote]

    That's about right. Which is why as I age I am enjoying recreational sex less and want more commitment before I get sexual. It isn't a moral thing--just want to take care of my heart because I do want love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    Never say it unless you really mean it, and even then, think twice. I caught myself starting to say it once, and knew I shouldn't have, so instead of it coming out as, "I love you!" I caught myself in time to change it to, "I love this! God it feels so good!"

    The "L" word is sacred, and never to be used unless I'm sure.

    And Hell will freeze over before I ever say it!