Damaged Goods...

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    Feb 28, 2010 5:57 PM GMT
    I don't know if i have an opinion on it, but what constitutes 'damaged goods' in reference to potential boyfriends/lovers/husbands... physical, emotional, psychological?

    What's the breaking point for you in that no matter how great a guy was otherwise, you would never date him/sleep with him/bring him back to meet mom?
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    Feb 28, 2010 6:06 PM GMT
    That's an impossible question for me to answer because a guy is not just one quality, but the sum of all his attributes. Therefore, any one quality that might seem insurmountable when viewed separately might be way outbalanced by his other attributes. Except of course for extremely egregious qualities, like a total drug addict or completely insane. But consideration of those make the discussion pointless.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Feb 28, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    damaged goods:
    Someone who was once healthy and/or normal but isn't anymore due to unfortunate, traumatic events in his/her life (i.e. physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, drug abuse...u get it).
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=damaged goods

    sometimes we get hurt - badly. sometimes that keeps us from seeing the true good right there in front of us. sometimes it's due to a bad relationship that we could not find our way out. sometimes it's due to a history of abuse(s) that have left permanent damage. harrows such as these can make it an uphill battle in which to let someone else love us. damaged might even refer to nursing a painful experience and not being quite ready to let in the possibility of being hurt again ...

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    Feb 28, 2010 6:44 PM GMT
    Unfortunately it's taken personal experience to teach me this lesson.. if the dude is currently a big drug user. Like.. Heroine, coke, meth, pills, ect. My opinion of people in that situation isn't that they're scum of the earth or anything.. matter of fact it's pretty opposite. They usually have a huge potential to be incredible people. But it's wasted on drugs. And I refuse to be caught up in that battle again. Even if, outside of that, they're great.
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    Feb 28, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    To me, damaged goods indicates that someone has some heavy personal baggage that seriously screws up their ability to maintain a relationship.

    I couldn't handle starting/continuing a relationship with a guy that has problems with honesty, anger management, or who has a drug/substance abuse problems.
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    Feb 28, 2010 11:40 PM GMT
    All of the above...

    I think damaged goods refers to the fact that he has actually been damaged by the one that came before you rather than just messed up.....

    But on the subject there's been a few things, one was a guy that I felt good about.... then dropped the N-word casually.....I was like fuck, damn it....I don't care too much but now there's no way I I can have him round half my friends
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    Mar 01, 2010 2:22 AM GMT
    Somebody who inconsiderate to others and is extremely emotionally unstable. Emotionally unstable person is a sinking ship who takes everyone down with him.
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    Mar 01, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
    I think it 's all a question of individual tolerance... and I guess that s where the thought, that there is someone for everyone comes from

    So I guess you re finding out the limits of your tolerance....

    I think i have pretty good tolerance as long as there isn t abuse and there is a degree of predictability icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 01, 2010 2:35 AM GMT
    Damaged goods could be a person who has been cheated on. As far as brining them back to ma, if you are going with someone who cheats get rid of them. It passed their mind once and it will pass their mind again.
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    Mar 01, 2010 2:43 AM GMT

    THIS!

    Caslon13000 saidThat's an impossible question for me to answer because a guy is not just one quality, but the sum of all his attributes. Therefore, any one quality that might seem insurmountable when viewed separately might be way outbalanced by his other attributes. Except of course for extremely egregious qualities, like a total drug addict or completely insane. But consideration of those make the discussion pointless.
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    Mar 01, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    asnextdoor saidSomebody who inconsiderate to others and is extremely emotionally unstable. Emotionally unstable person is a sinking ship who takes everyone down with him.


    So there goes a big majority of the American gay left wing; flush.
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    Mar 01, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    Example: me 4 years ago. Hot. Ass. Mess.
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    Mar 01, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    I don't know...I'd probably describing it as having a big time victim mentality based on previous life struggles. I mean no one's perfect, and no one comes into you life with a blank slate free of any issues. I guess it's what you choose to do with your history that makes you damaged goods or not...
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Mar 01, 2010 12:03 PM GMT
    Damaged goods is a term to describe someone who is broken in personality or spirit by some device(s) to the point where the person labeling the other as "damaged goods" can't see how to use that person for their own ends.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 01, 2010 12:08 PM GMT
    Damaged goods to me is someone who is incapable of having any sort of relationship whether it's temporarily or permanently due to a variety number of reasons
    mental instability
    drugs
    personality disorders
    ....take your pick
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    Mar 01, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidExample: me 4 years ago. Hot. Ass. Mess.



    Same here, six years ago.

    I would agree with a lot of the definitions posted above me. I think it's anyone dealing with issues that go beyond the daily or monthly (LOL) ups and downs in life, is broken emotionally. But I believe that everybody who is damaged goods can be fixed with the right tools.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 01, 2010 1:45 PM GMT
    some damage doesn't show until an object is stressed, then the cracks and fissures start forming
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    Feb 25, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    I am very forgiving of damaged guys. I'm damaged myself, but I still try try try. I really feel Bad for them. They deserve love, even when they're difficult, and push you away. I like to believe they can fix themselves, but have taken a wound too many from trying to fix their problems for them. icon_question.gif?icon_confused.gif