Is realjock bad for me?

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    Mar 05, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    Ok I read a thread eariler in the evening that kind of brought me back down to earth so to speak. It was the open letter/I'm not enough thread by mycro. For those who haven't read it basically the OPs point was that he was going to be himself for once and be genuine and don't conform to the gay communitys standards.

    Well to my surprise just about everyones responses were positive, all "yes be yourself" etc and it occured to me that while most people on here are genuine or seem genuine, that probably isnt the case in real life.

    I've been on realjock for a month and a half and this is the first gay site i've ever joined( I've also never went to a bar before nor do I know any openly gay people), well since I've joined almost every guy here seems attractive in their own way, e.g. practically all rj guys are knock outs, practically all of you have great personalities from what Ive seen in the threads/IMs and I really am starting to love the guys I've met here, however tonight I just hit me " Is this site realistic to what the gay community really is?" are all gay men as sweet and funny and hot as most of you seem to be?

    I've come to the conclusion that realjock is starting to give me unrealistic expectations on what kind of men are out there, in the real world. So I'm asking you, fellow member to another, is realjock a realistic portrayal(as much as a site can be) of what the average gay man is like?
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    Mar 05, 2010 3:49 AM GMT
    I think RJ is just a congregation of those with qualities you are talking about.

    However, in my time here (quite a few years) I have seen a lot more then just great guys, I've been exposed to some of the most foul, repugnant and ignorant people I've ever had the displeasure of talking to, those who are just as happy ripping another person apart and spewing forth hate like it was the fountain of life.

    Things just seem to go in cycles around here (I think everyones period has synced up hehe) stay around long enough and you'll see all sorts here, not just great guys.
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    Mar 05, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    What lilTanker said.

    Also, here on the 'net the only mode of communication is via the word. Out there in visceral life, with all those physical visual, audial (is that a word? lol) and other senses type cues, communication of this sort, where we are constantly explaining ourselves through text, doesn't always occur.

    Why? Because out there people often go by those sensory cues instead of talking first. So opportunity is missed.

    -Doug
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    Mar 05, 2010 4:30 AM GMT
    Dtimshell saidOk I read a thread eariler in the evening that kind of brought me back down to earth so to speak. It was the open letter/I'm not enough thread by mycro. For those who haven't read it basically the OPs point was that he was going to be himself for once and be genuine and don't conform to the gay communitys standards.

    Well to my surprise just about everyones responses were positive, all "yes be yourself" etc and it occured to me that while most people on here are genuine or seem genuine, that probably isnt the case in real life.

    I've been on realjock for a month and a half and this is the first gay site i've ever joined( I've also never went to a bar before nor do I know any openly gay people), well since I've joined almost every guy here seems attractive in their own way, e.g. practically all rj guys are knock outs, practically all of you have great personalities from what Ive seen in the threads/IMs and I really am starting to love the guys I've met here, however tonight I just hit me " Is this site realistic to what the gay community really is?" are all gay men as sweet and funny and hot as most of you seem to be?

    I've come to the conclusion that realjock is starting to give me unrealistic expectations on what kind of men are out there, in the real world. So I'm asking you, fellow member to another, is realjock a realistic portrayal(as much as a site can be) of what the average gay man is like?



    Personally I find this to be the only gay oriented website on the internet to have a fairly healthy and well balanced assortment of gay men from all walks of life that is pretty much in tuned with what you will find in the real world!! I like RealJock!!


    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 05, 2010 5:30 AM GMT
    Dtimshell said...I've been on realjock for a month and a half and this is the first gay site i've ever joined( I've also never went to a bar before nor do I know any openly gay people), well since I've joined almost every guy here seems attractive in their own way, e.g. practically all rj guys are knock outs, practically all of you have great personalities from what Ive seen in the threads/IMs and I really am starting to love the guys I've met here, however tonight I just hit me " Is this site realistic to what the gay community really is?" are all gay men as sweet and funny and hot as most of you seem to be?

    I've come to the conclusion that realjock is starting to give me unrealistic expectations on what kind of men are out there, in the real world. So I'm asking you, fellow member to another, is realjock a realistic portrayal(as much as a site can be) of what the average gay man is like?


    Should it matter?

    Honestly, don't be afraid to have standards. If you know what you want, stick with it, don't settle for someone simply because they're gay because you probably won't last long.

    The guy you really want is out there, you just might have to work harder than some. [I'm still on the hunt myself icon_wink.gif]

    But I know where you're comming from. The gay community where I'm at is full of druggies and losers. Coming to real jock and seeing a great mix of guys, from the sweet couple who have been together for years to a few fellows working on their phD's.... just wow. I can't even begin to express how awesome that was/is to see.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Mar 05, 2010 6:29 AM GMT
    ...


    I don't think it's going to cause unrealistic expectations. Everyone here is a real person, you can find plenty of them out and about.

    The problem is, folks like a lot of RJers aren't exactly as easy to spot as other groups of gay men.

    So yeah... it's not accurate as an "average gay man," but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of people out there just like RJers.


    PS: In a lot of ways, this is still the real world icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 05, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    weird, a couple of weeks ago people were leaving this site because of all the attitude, intolerance and destructive criticism from many guys on this forum and now you're wondering if realjock is bad for you because...guys on here seem so nice that it might somehow blurry your vision in the "real" gay world? I guess realjock is like the weather in Canada, if you dont like it just wait 5 minutes.
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    Mar 05, 2010 6:42 AM GMT
    Oh my my my, no no no ... question is "are you good for RJ?"
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    Mar 06, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    charlitos saidweird, a couple of weeks ago people were leaving this site because of all the attitude, intolerance and destructive criticism from many guys on this forum and now you're wondering if realjock is bad for you because...guys on here seem so nice that it might somehow blurry your vision in the "real" gay world? I guess realjock is like the weather in Canada, if you dont like it just wait 5 minutes.


    Well I'm new, I've no real comparison or experience when it comes to sites, so even if it seemed bad to you cause you've been on here longer to me it was just a few bad apples in a load of tasty fruits icon_twisted.gif lol and note how I used the words "most" and "practically" excessively.

    Guess I'm just an optimist and your a realist icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 06, 2010 12:52 AM GMT
    I don't know, I think RJ is pretty representative of what's out there personality wise (I'm married now so I don't notice the hotness anymore.....LOL!) Even here you take the good with the bad on your own terms, weed out the ones you don't like and make friends with those you do. Occasionally you'll find guys who take obnoxious to the extreme and you'll see a post by them and go icon_rolleyes.gif and just know it's gonna be a doozy, but isn't that how life is?

    I admire you guys who come out so young now. I know it's STILL not easy but it's nice to see guys more comfortable with who they are earlier. Welcome!
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    Mar 06, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    I really enjoy rj, & have found that I tend to come here more than any other website.i like many of the people & enjoy interacting with most.
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    Mar 06, 2010 1:12 AM GMT
    Shortnsexystud saidI don't know, I think RJ is pretty representative of what's out there personality wise (I'm married now so I don't notice the hotness anymore.....LOL!) Even here you take the good with the bad on your own terms, weed out the ones you don't like and make friends with those you do. Occasionally you'll find guys who take obnoxious to the extreme and you'll see a post by them and go icon_rolleyes.gif and just know it's gonna be a doozy, but isn't that how life is?

    I admire you guys who come out so young now. I know it's STILL not easy but it's nice to see guys more comfortable with who they are earlier. Welcome!


    Thank you, and I've a good example of my point, look above this posticon_rolleyes.gif, everyone of you are hotties or showing happy pictures of you and your loved ones eg meninlove and you shortnsexystud, deep down I have ALOT of terrible opinions about what's in store for me in the real life gay world e.g. theylll all be creeps, psychos or fems(no offense to those who are) and that I'll never find someone, honestly this site when I found it last year really helped me more than I've realised, but I'm still wondering if all these happy pictures are just a dream for most of us.
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    Mar 06, 2010 1:47 AM GMT
    Dtimshell said

    Thank you, and I've a good example of my point,.....everyone of you are hotties or showing happy pictures of you and your loved ones eg meninlove and you shortnsexystud, deep down I have ALOT of terrible opinions about what's in store for me in the real life gay world e.g. theylll all be creeps, psychos or fems(no offense to those who are) and that I'll never find someone, honestly this site when I found it last year really helped me more than I've realised, but I'm still wondering if all these happy pictures are just a dream for most of us.


    Oh, grasshopper you have much to learn! MY story isn't all perfect. My current beau and I met a bit over a year ago and are extremely happy but have a lot of challenges facing us with being together. We are planning a wedding in South Africa and as it stands now, me moving there because we cannot get married here. Unless he is pulled in the green card lottery this summer, there is not much chance of him being able to immigrate here.

    My last relationship was 10 years and ended on a very poor note and wrecked me for almost three years. The last two years of the relationship and a year to get back on my feet again. I met my share of not so nice guys trying to meet someone new (after I had done tons of counseling to undo the damage from the first to my self esteem and confidence). It wasn't fun but you gotta know who you are, know you have tons to offer and know that the right person will come along. Just keep putting your self out there and don't let the not so nice ones, jade you. There ARE nice guys out there.....make tons of friends along the way and have fun. It's all good even if it doesn't seem so at the time. icon_wink.gif
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Mar 06, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    Dtimshell saidOk I read a thread eariler in the evening that kind of brought me back down to earth so to speak. It was the open letter/I'm not enough thread by mycro. For those who haven't read it basically the OPs point was that he was going to be himself for once and be genuine and don't conform to the gay communitys standards.

    Well to my surprise just about everyones responses were positive, all "yes be yourself" etc and it occured to me that while most people on here are genuine or seem genuine, that probably isnt the case in real life.

    I've been on realjock for a month and a half and this is the first gay site i've ever joined( I've also never went to a bar before nor do I know any openly gay people), well since I've joined almost every guy here seems attractive in their own way, e.g. practically all rj guys are knock outs, practically all of you have great personalities from what Ive seen in the threads/IMs and I really am starting to love the guys I've met here, however tonight I just hit me " Is this site realistic to what the gay community really is?" are all gay men as sweet and funny and hot as most of you seem to be?

    I've come to the conclusion that realjock is starting to give me unrealistic expectations on what kind of men are out there, in the real world. So I'm asking you, fellow member to another, is realjock a realistic portrayal(as much as a site can be) of what the average gay man is like?


    First off, stop kissing up

    Secondly, everyone's experience is different here. Or on any site really. Some people just like them and other can't function on websites. I don't think you are getting a warped view of what the gay community is thru RealJock. I think it is very accurate. You see a hott guy, you read his pro, he seems cool and he has testimonials of how he is such an awesome guy and all this bs. Then you talk to him and he is a complete loser or just a jerk. Then there are guys who aren't as popular and still good looking but they are sweet and really nice. I think that is accurate of the gay community. This site has Jocks yes, but there are a good amount of fems and freaks and what not.

    I have a lot of expectations and I really know what I want so maybe my exp is different than yours. But you shouldn't rethink your membership here just b/c you think it's not representative. Trust me, the real world isn't any different than here. You have cliques and other stuff in the real world just like here. I do think websites allow ppl to be a little more edgy and rude but who knows what people are like in real life?

    I am not gonna delete my pro here cuz like Muninn said, I know there's a guy out there for me somewhere and maybe here. I don't know but I won't know if I don't try icon_razz.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Mar 06, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    some of the greatest people I've ever come across are on here. there's no doubt in my mind and I am thankful, entirely, for it.
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    Mar 06, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    I am real...but we are all a bit unreal..HOW SO? .This is the internet so we can only fantasize and think what we might have one day....
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 06, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    Dtim let me let you in on a secret
    When guys talk or chat or post pictures on the net
    They might be them and they might seem interesting and funny and witty
    in their posts
    But they're all going to be the best parts of their personality
    The best pictures will be posted out of who knows how many
    Men aren't going to tell you what's negative about them
    If they have a far ass .... that's not going to be in a picture they post
    So you're always going to get half a real profile

    When you see a guy in real life .... there's no where to hide
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2010 2:34 AM GMT
    This site, like any other, is what you make of it. Don't let others decide for you what that is. Figure that out for yourself and don't believer the hype or the fizzle of something based off of others opinions.

    I don't really associate this site with the gay community simply because that's not what I want to do. How could I? Every area and place has a different type of gay community and it's nearly impossible to lump them all in the same group because the personalities, characteristics and the people vary drastically.

    Get from it what you can and go with that.




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    Mar 06, 2010 2:38 AM GMT
    Ok, you need to experience some gay life. Go out, have fun, fall in love, get your heart broken, have sex, make friends, have boyfriends, figure out what you like about "the gay life-style" and what you don't. Be open about experiences, but don't be naive and always play safe.

    The www and RJ should just be a small part of your life. You will meet many people and with some you will click and with others you won't. Don't measure flesh and blood people by what you see in the carefully selected pictures and composed posts here on RJ.

    When I wake up in the morning I don't look like Bernd either icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2010 2:38 AM GMT
    GQjock saidDtim let me let you in on a secret
    When guys talk or chat or post pictures on the net
    They might be them and they might seem interesting and funny and witty
    in their posts
    But they're all going to be the best parts of their personality
    The best pictures will be posted out of who knows how many
    Men aren't going to tell you what's negative about them
    If they have a far ass .... that's not going to be in a picture they post
    So you're always going to get half a real profile

    When you see a guy in real life .... there's no where to hide


    Under the covers I am especially nice and know how to make you feel the best...try me on....I will show you...Now, that's what you do not get from a bunch of fluffed up words and pretty boy abs.....Oh...I got them too!! abs....rr.r.r.rr
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    Mar 06, 2010 2:48 AM GMT
    I was fascinated to read about a study done on Facebook profiles. The suggestion is that people are incredibly honest on those profiles when compared with collected data through personality surveys (like the MMPI).

    I have the feeling that the vast majority of people that I talk to on here are quite honest about their real personality, pics, etc.

    My guess is that it has something to do with trolling for sex. The guys who are just looking for sex don't really seem to be spending a lot of time on the forums.

    Overall, I would say that RJ is more like Facebook than it is like Manhunt.


    GQjock saidDtim let me let you in on a secret
    When guys talk or chat or post pictures on the net
    They might be them and they might seem interesting and funny and witty
    in their posts
    But they're all going to be the best parts of their personality
    The best pictures will be posted out of who knows how many
    Men aren't going to tell you what's negative about them
    If they have a far ass .... that's not going to be in a picture they post
    So you're always going to get half a real profile

    When you see a guy in real life .... there's no where to hide
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2010 7:03 AM GMT
    OK GQJock, while we know it's a typo, we can't help but be intrigued at what a 'far ass' looks like.

    signed - er, intrigued!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2010 7:57 AM GMT
    GQjock saidDtim let me let you in on a secret
    When guys talk or chat or post pictures on the net
    They might be them and they might seem interesting and funny and witty
    in their posts
    But they're all going to be the best parts of their personality
    The best pictures will be posted out of who knows how many
    Men aren't going to tell you what's negative about them
    If they have a far ass .... that's not going to be in a picture they post
    So you're always going to get half a real profile

    When you see a guy in real life .... there's no where to hide


    OK (1) My pics were carefully selected. What I see in the mirror is often worse (though also sometimes a great deal hotter: I´ve not worked out how to get a good picture of my back, which is frankly V shaped, ripped and my best feature). I posted a pic of my fat ass btw icon_lol.gif

    (2) I am much blunter on here than I am in real life. Actually I´m really nice and don´t say fucking all the fucking time. No, I really am fucking nice....

    icon_rolleyes.gif

  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Mar 06, 2010 8:05 AM GMT
    Lostboy said
    GQjock saidWhen you see a guy in real life .... there's no where to hide
    No, I really am fucking nice....

    trollop ...
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    Mar 06, 2010 8:57 AM GMT
    Dtimshell saidOk I read a thread eariler in the evening that kind of brought me back down to earth so to speak. It was the open letter/I'm not enough thread by mycro. For those who haven't read it basically the OPs point was that he was going to be himself for once and be genuine and don't conform to the gay communitys standards.

    Well to my surprise just about everyones responses were positive, all "yes be yourself" etc and it occured to me that while most people on here are genuine or seem genuine, that probably isnt the case in real life.

    I've been on realjock for a month and a half and this is the first gay site i've ever joined( I've also never went to a bar before nor do I know any openly gay people), well since I've joined almost every guy here seems attractive in their own way, e.g. practically all rj guys are knock outs, practically all of you have great personalities from what Ive seen in the threads/IMs and I really am starting to love the guys I've met here, however tonight I just hit me " Is this site realistic to what the gay community really is?" are all gay men as sweet and funny and hot as most of you seem to be?

    I've come to the conclusion that realjock is starting to give me unrealistic expectations on what kind of men are out there, in the real world. So I'm asking you, fellow member to another, is realjock a realistic portrayal(as much as a site can be) of what the average gay man is like?


    Date a realjocker. There... problem solved. icon_smile.gif