Jan 18, 2008 10:06 PM GMT
1.) They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you...they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? There are country's that do not allow the eating of beef pick one.
2.)Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road'. I drive a pickup because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way!
3.)So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We
have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that we only
drive 3 weeks out of the year.
4.)If that cell phone rings while an 8 point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
5.) We fry our fish after catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
6. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the 15th of November.
7. We open doors for women. That is applied to all
women, regardless of age,or genitalia .
8. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
9. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meat, more meat (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt, pepper, hot sauce & ketchup. Oh yeah...we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AINT REAL CHILI!!!!
10. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet,and poured over ice.
11. You bring 'mary jane' into my house, she/he better be cute, know how to shoot, and drive a truck.
12. Yeah, we have golf courses, but don't hit the water
hazards...it spooks the fish.
13. 4 inches isn't a blizzard--it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk & toilet paper from the grocery stores. This aint Alaska, worst case you may have to go a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowblades will have you out the next day.
Feel free to put up your own rules if ye ain't been citified