"Just Friends"

  • scubaguy1981

    Posts: 69

    Mar 06, 2010 3:39 PM GMT
    So, every time I meet a great guy, we talk and hang out and life is awesome, and I always end up liking them. Invariably however, I end up in the "just friends" bucket. What am I doing wrong?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    Nothing is wrong with what you're doing. You've actually got the edge. Just think about how much harder it could be if you found very very few of them likeable.

    If you find many of the men you meet likeable, your chances of discovering one of them likes you back the same way is much higher.

    However, this also means that you'll experience let downs a little mre often than those that find most men leave them cold.

    Bill and I are the same as you this way.

    ....and look what happened. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2010 4:35 PM GMT
    Relationships are a tricky thing. Some people click as friends and some on a romantic level. The bright side is that if you tend to become friends with guys easily it means you must be likeable! Sooner or later both you and the other guy will click on a romantic level - it might just take some time.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Mar 06, 2010 4:49 PM GMT
    I think the statement that you "always end up liking them" is very telling.

    When I meet someone there might be some attributes such as personality and looks that I might like, but I don't feel I know them well enough to say that I "like" them in any substantiative way. I reserve that judgement call for a much later date in time.

    If I feel someone likes me "too much" only based upon a short introduction and time together I get concerned and wonder what his real intentions are or if he has really bad judgement in such things. I wonder if I am just another guy on his long list of guys that he falls for immediately only to last a few short months until he finds another guy that he quickly falls for. Unfortunately I have seen this pattern in a few friends of mine, and they leave behind a huge wake of broken hearts and ruined love lives. These friends have no clue mind you, they go for what they want and they are sincere in how they feel about the guy during those few moments in time.

    To the OP, the previous illustration might not describe you at all, but some guys might be weary if you come on too strong too fast. Let yourself get to know someone for whom they really are, and not how they looked the first night you met.
  • scubaguy1981

    Posts: 69

    Mar 06, 2010 5:24 PM GMT
    I'm talking about guys that I've known for quite a while, on the order of almost a year for the most part. I'm an easy going person, and friendly. But i'm a very guarded person and don't have that many people who I truely call my friends, I have many aquaintances.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2010 6:42 PM GMT
    scubaguy1981 saidSo, every time I meet a great guy, we talk and hang out and life is awesome, and I always end up liking them. Invariably however, I end up in the "just friends" bucket. What am I doing wrong?


    Like so many things in life, you have to set goals, and ask for what you want. You don't get laid just being the nice guy. You need to ask. It's all in how you approach it. If you want a boyfriend, then, you have to do the dating game. Or,...maybe you aren't going out with folks that are compatible with you. I get that...adoring guys who somehow think if they lavish adoration on me that I'll somehow become interested in them. I won't. They aren't compatible with me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 06, 2010 8:44 PM GMT