I was going to send it in a private message because this isn't something I talk about very much (in the interest of always moving forward after learning my lessons in the past). But what the fuck, maybe others can be helped by reading this, I don't know.
I was married, but had no kids, for about 5 years, and came out to my wife and everybody else about 6 years ago. I imagine things are different with kids, but I can relate to how scary of a time it is. People underestimate the amount of courage it takes to do this, because they fixate on how "weak" you were for not being yourself all these years and for not being honest and open. That stuff will come at you - ignore it, it's useless commentary for you at this point
What's past is past. You have some bumpy times ahead. I think that for me, the thing that has been most difficult to overcome is the tremendous amount of guilt over the destruction that you've left in your wake. It has taken me years to deal with that, and to some extent it's still there even though my ex has remarried and is living a happy life. Expect this remorse and guilt, and deal with it as best you can. One tip for that is to do everything you can to keep looking and moving forward. Those times that you dwell on the past you may find yourself falling into despair and grief and guilt. It can be debilitating. I learned quickly to avoid that destructive pattern. You have to put a new life together. I focused on work for a long time. Also, friends became an issue. I lost many of my old friends - a few because they just didn't accept me, or drifted to my ex. But admittedly a lot were lost through my own doing... I distanced myself, they gave up. So I've had to build new friendships, as well.
My good fortune was finding my BF. I didn't want to go through a slutty phase, or a party phase, or anything like that. Was just my choice. My bf was a huge blessing... he was going through a life rebuilding for a different reason, and so we were in similar points in our lives. I was very fortunate, we've been able to rebuild some domestication that followed quite a while of sleeping on an air mattress in a very empty apartment while things got sorted out with my ex, our house and belongings.
By the way, I didn't even try therapy. I went to a couple of groups but found them depressing and useless. But that was me, it's worth trying.
I'm happy to talk to you more about this stuff anytime, feel free to email me.
Best of luck.