Do you think I have a chance?

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 11, 2010 2:51 PM GMT
    I dont mean to sound like some hopelessly in love teenager writing to "Dear Abby", but I really have no one to talk to, and probably you guys can give me your opinion.

    There a new kid a work , that kinda show interest to me. He is a triathete, slim , 21 years old, just come out of college (I am a mature 44, slightly overweight). Frankly I not even sure if he is gay or not.
    Lately he been showing some strange behaviour that he probably interested in me. Let me list is down.

    1. He like to touch me. He will put his arm around me, sometimes give a little massage on my neck. He seem to always looking for excuse to shake my hand. If we are discussing something, he will stand so close to me to the point our body touch each other. Come on, I am a senior officer and he is a young junior worker. If I am straight I will be very offended at this "invasion of my private space"

    2. He seem to remember everything I told him. Stuff about where I go to school. Even my weight loss.

    3. He dont resist if I touch him back. Once I hold him around his waist(jokingly) and he doesnt pull himself back.

    4. He always come to my cubicle looking for excuse to talk. Sometimes to talk about stuff, of no interest to me or work related.

    5. He like to share his traithete achievement, running time with me , stuff he dont tell anyone else. As though to show that he is a great catch.

    6. He nickname me

    7. He was constantly smilling everytimes he saw me.

    I have take him out for a swim (follow by a dinner), and take him home . But nothing happen. I am confuse. I am certainly attracted to him, but not sure i what I should do.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    Of course you have a chance! Continue to be a friend and don't push too hard, unless that's your style. If you go into it with the mindset that you have no chance, then of course you won't. Smile, be friendly, show mutual interest, and see what happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    Ask him, plain n simple, if he is not then oh well move on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    I'd agree that you should check it out. More swimming trips and dinner. Nothing wrong with that. See where it goes UNLESS he reports to you. If that is the case, STOP and think carefully about continuing any further. If he reports to you, this could be trouble later. But if he doesn't report to you, and you both keep it at a discreet level, go with it and have fun. There are a lot of younger guys who truly love being with an older guy, for a variety of reasons.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 4:55 PM GMT
    zakariahzol saidI have take him out for a swim (follow by a dinner), and take him home . But nothing happen. I am confuse. I am certainly attracted to him, but not sure i what I should do.

    Ah, Zak, one of the friends I've known here the longest, I wish I could give you a simple answer. One thing that limits me is our cultural differences.

    Should I presume this is not "normal" behavior for straight men over there, that you are writing about this here? If Malaysian men do not ordinarily do these things at work, then he may well be trying to tell you something. And I hope that something is not "buttering up the boss" as the saying here goes, if you supervise him.

    I agree with ILmarathonrunner, to show mutual interest, be patient, see what happens. It would not be correct to be blunt and ask him directly in your country, would it?

    Did he see your motorcycle when he came to your house? Have you given him a ride on it? I know motorcycles, scooters and mopeds are common there, but I always found riding a guy on the back of mine was a great way to move things along. It's often acceptable for the passenger to wrap his arms around the rider, even in the US, and with his hands right there, he has lots of opportunity to "speak" with them and deliver a special message.

    Plus riding a motorcycle together, as you know, is a great bonding experience. And if he has his own, take some rides together. I wish you the best. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Mar 11, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    zakariahzol saidI have take him out for a swim (follow by a dinner), and take him home . But nothing happen. I am confuse. I am certainly attracted to him, but not sure i what I should do.

    Ah, Zak, one of the friends I've known here the longest, I wish I could give you a simple answer. One thing that limits me is our cultural differences.

    Should I presume this is not "normal" behavior for straight men over there, that you are writing about this here? If Malaysian men do not ordinarily do these things at work, then he may well be trying to tell you something. And I hope that something is not "buttering up the boss" as the saying here goes, if you supervise him.

    I agree with ILmarathonrunner, to show mutual interest, be patient, see what happens. It would not be correct to be blunt and ask him directly in your country, would it?

    Did he see your motorcycle when he came to your house? Have you given him a ride on it? I know motorcycles, scooters and mopeds are common there, but I always found riding a guy on the back of mine was a great way to move things along. It's often acceptable for the passenger to wrap his arms around the rider, even in the US, and with his hands right there, he has lots of opportunity to "speak" with them and deliver a special message.

    Plus riding a motorcycle together, as you know, is a great bonding experience. And if he has his own, take some rides together. I wish you the best. icon_biggrin.gif


    All of this could be genuine sincere interest in a coworker as a person, and nothing more. Someone can be just a warm and engaging person, and nothing more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    Go in for the kill. Lean over and kiss him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2010 5:14 PM GMT
    Senior officer. Junior worker.

    I wouldn't get involved even if he were willing, just based on this alone.

    It's also very possible he just sees you as a mentor, nothing more.

    Danger, Will Robinson!!
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 11, 2010 11:26 PM GMT
    Red Vespa,

    Yes, I take him to the swimming pool on my bike. You know, when someone sit on a bike behind you , you can feel his chest pressing against your back. When you try to talk to him , you basically on each other face. Motorbike are great and sexy , isnt it. This kid really love motorbike. He once admire my Harley jacket and we have lenghty conversation on this matter.

    As far as culture is concern. No, it not acceptable for two men, to be touching each other , except for hand shake in Malaysian culture. Those stuff about two straight men holding hand , are norm in India, Bangladesh and Pakistan not Malaysia..