I'm on a date/meet up....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 4:17 PM GMT
    And it's 4.20 for after no showed twice already in the last 2-3weeks and he resheduled from 3-4 at 2.30...

    Yet he's apparently insisting he's dying to meet me and texting/calling everyday like they all always do

    I'm thinking of all the men I can remember meeting up this last 2 years or so and I added them up 84% resheduled on the day, no-showed or were more than 1/2 late. I say meet up because 'date' implies effort on their part in regards to plans or being presentable

    This a trend among gay men? Or am I just accepting invitations from bad sorts
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 12, 2010 4:22 PM GMT
    kick his ass
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 4:27 PM GMT

    It's usually a combination of both, Mr Drew.

    Next time, make no plans with the guy. If he wants to meet tell him where you're going to be according to your own schedule. He can try chase you down. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 4:29 PM GMT
    tell him he´s a cunt.

    The ones who make you chase them are the least likely to be worth it.

    Hard truth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 7:27 PM GMT
    True...

    But what I don't understand is why the near despiration pleading and encouraging me to agree to meet them..... Just to have them blow me off

    one before this sent me a message after I had been waiting around with "Oh sorry went ice skating with friends another time?" or before that I stood in the movie theatre for 45 mins and we missed the movie so he could finish a workout, the kicker was I had already seen Avatar and was there because he had pleaded with me too see it with him.

    I used to make effort for these things but it often leaves me feeling shit I wasted cologne, showered and shaved for nothing and added an extra shirt to my laundry this week
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    1) Never agree for a first meet up at places/times that are inconvenient for you.

    2) Always bring a book.

    Lowers the stakes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    "Tell him he's a cunt." icon_eek.gif

    I thought that was a terrible suggestion but after reading about "Oh sorry, went ice skating with friends. Another time?"

    Yep, he's a cunt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 7:42 PM GMT
    These people are using you as a Plan B in case they don't get better plans. Some people have no regard for another person's time. Don't give those people second chances despite the pleading. You know their complimentary texts don't lead to anything real.
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    Mar 12, 2010 7:44 PM GMT
    I always make good suggestions. icon_twisted.gif

    If they start off as high maintenance flakes they are not going to change just because you get in their pants. People who are worth chasing after don´t make you do it. That´s part of why they are worth it.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Mar 12, 2010 7:44 PM GMT
    I have the one-strike rule: if a guy blows me off--especially if it's last minute--for anything other than a legit reason, I write him off for good. Same goes for being unreasonably late on a first date. Unless there's a phone call or a text to the effect of being stuck in traffic, etc, I give him 20 minutes and then I'm outta there. Life's too short to be wasted on inconsiderate flakes.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Mar 12, 2010 7:58 PM GMT
    as abrasive as you can be, buddy, you deserve better than that else you would not have to write to us like this. you're a great, big, mushy sweetheart ... let someone else give you what you give to others. this dude is cut; done; finito ... over it.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:03 PM GMT
    NC3athlete saidI have the one-strike rule: if a guy blows me off--especially if it's last minute--for anything other than a legit reason, I write him off for good. Same goes for being unreasonably late on a first date. Unless there's a phone call or a text to the effect of being stuck in traffic, etc, I give him 20 minutes and then I'm outta there. Life's too short to be wasted on inconsiderate flakes.


    Totally agree. Never make someone a priority when you're only an option to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    Aww if you want I'll be your back up date from now on so if someone craps out on you again you can say "Don't worry about me I'm out with another guy" .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:10 PM GMT
    I've been out with guys like that before. I have a 20 minute window, 45 if I get a text or call saying something came up and they are delayed. I can entertain myself anywhere so I'm not finicky about punctuality.

    Guys that do that, in my experience, are usually really good looking and pretty dynamic at first and other guys have let them get away with that behavior so they think it is acceptable.

    This one guy who literally was stringing me along for over an hour via text while he professed how badly he wanted to meet up and how sorry he was. I'm a sucker for an apology and let it go...

    When I found out he was at the gym *across the street* the entire time working out, I asked him if he wanted me to get him a douche to drink because his head had obviously been so far up his ass the shit had gotten into his brain.

    Ultimately, their bad behavior is a reflection of their own shortcomings and has nothing to do with us. You can not own anyone else's decisions or behavior... in short... *fuck him*.
  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Mar 12, 2010 8:11 PM GMT
    I've had this happen in the past as well. It's disrespectful, rude and it really pisses me off. I put an end to that quickly.

    Drew, this guy clearly isn't worth it. Next time he contacts or pleads with you to meet him, simply explain very matter-of-factly that he had his shot and he blew it....he's a flake, he should grow up and play games with someone else. As for you, move on and find someone WORTH spending your time and energy on. Don't take second best and don't accept that kind of behaviour. Demand what you're worth and it'll find you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:15 PM GMT
    You're in Ireland......thought you were in LA! icon_lol.gif Guess it's not just here they are like that. Thank God for South Africa icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:16 PM GMT
    jrs1 saidas abrasive as you can be, buddy, you deserve better than that else you would not have to write to us like this. you're a great, big, mushy sweetheart ... let someone else give you what you give to others. this dude is cut; done; finito ... over it.


    I'm abbrasive? Really? icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:21 PM GMT
    I'm not so much looking to be consoled or even have a rant

    More wondering...

    What percentage of everyone else dates or meet ups just loose all enthusiasm/ fail to show up once you agree to it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:25 PM GMT
    Replace the word Wayne Brady with your name.........


    is-wayne-brady-gonna-have-to-choke-a-bit
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    No show twice I would have been done then.
  • curve

    Posts: 668

    Mar 12, 2010 8:32 PM GMT
    you have much better ways to spend your time than to wait for his sorry case...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 9:43 PM GMT
    "When someone shows you who he really is, believe him." Don't remember who told me that, but it holds true. Barring some verifiable accident/illness/family emergency, there are no other excuses. I wait 30 minutes then bail, and no more contact. As someone else said, make it a time that's convenient for you, and bring a book.

    BTDT too many times to count as well.
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    Mar 12, 2010 9:48 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidAnd it's 4.20 for after no showed twice already in the last 2-3weeks and he resheduled from 3-4 at 2.30...

    Your cell phone has a delete function.
    Try using it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2010 10:23 PM GMT
    I'm not a big fan of flakes. Therefore I try not to be. If I agree to meet with someone, I arrive early. And I never change plans if something better comes up. That's just plain rude.
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    Mar 12, 2010 10:29 PM GMT
    RunnerBen said1) Never agree for a first meet up at places/times that are inconvenient for you.

    2) Always bring a book.

    Lowers the stakes.

    Hear! Hear!

    And cut them off after the first fuck up. Dont let them play you for a tool.