Loosing the drive for Relationships?

  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Mar 14, 2010 10:30 PM GMT
    I am not quite sure how to discribe my problem, not even if it actually is a problem. Ever since I started a new Job at a Callcenter I keep on ditching every guy I meet. I used to be horny every day and had at least one date a week. Now I just hold the guys I meet out till they say themselfs that they dont want anymore and I just feel stupid. On the one side I want sex and find a Guy for me on the other I cant make space in my Head for it anymore.

    I know that its said that the hormon push of the teenage Years will go down at some point or another, but the change just seems to radical for me. Yesterday I met a guy in the Disco and went home with him, just to leave 2 hours later since I couldnt sleep and felt completly uncomfortable. Though the guy was really cute and sweet. I just dont get whats going on with me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    Go with what you feel and what your gut is telling you, knowing it will work itself out.
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    Mar 15, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
    When a guy is single and has an interest in dating (two important caveats), he is bound to go through cycles of being interested versus being indifferent to the dating process. If you're busy with other parts of your life, it's understandable to have little interest in dating.

    I have absolutely no interest in dating right now since I have too many things on my plate right now. Will that change at some point? Definitely! However, I'm fine with everything else in my life right now. Besides, I have hands and lube, I'm fine with dating my right hand.
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    Mar 15, 2010 2:33 AM GMT
    You are very fortunate my friend. I have never gotten hits like you but or even a glance or smile. But then again it is nice to meet someone when the time is right and not having to test out the water all the time. Then again for me that is if.

    So if your life is busy stay focus and busy the rest will work itself out when the time is right.

    Cheers.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Mar 15, 2010 2:46 AM GMT
    Welcome to my world!
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Mar 15, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    So in other words I am supposed to just let it be till things calm down? They have been this way for the last 4 month. So that is not really comforting.

    If I understand the answers right, I am to worried with the other stuff in my life thats going on that I simply can`t compile (computerfreaks will understand me) the stuff I have to work through in relationships?

    Its just a big pain for me since I met some really intresting guys in the last time, but I can`t really get to know them while I am this way, but I also dont want to loose them. I gave the explenation that I am a little bit busy at time to a guy I Iiked a lot before. The answer was that he is now ignoring, like ...I guess... most of the guys I had in waiting line ever since. I just want to know how to fix this... or me for that matter.
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    Mar 15, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    You can ditch all you want but sooner or later, that "One" will appear. He will make you think differently and suddenly you will be head over heals for that "one".
  • myklet1

    Posts: 345

    Mar 15, 2010 9:15 AM GMT
    I think you are just changing. We all go through many changes. Maybe it is just the quick and meaningless that you are over. I got over it. Sometimes just waking up next to a stranger gets old. As far as dating, sometimes you just get over starting from the beginning so many times. Just be who you are today.........tomorrow you may be someone else.
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    Mar 17, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    I've lost the drive for being in a relationship for like a year now.

    Maybe I'll pick it back up when I fix myself.
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:02 PM GMT
    I've lost the desire for a relationship as well. I'm not good for anyone on a long term basis. I enjoy my own company. Friends say I'm a lot alike the Charlie Sheen character in the way I want my own space, and a revolving door of guys coming and going. I've had the LTR thing, and I prefer to play the field. Now - I know that some day the right guy will come along and I'll settle down. But not for a long time!
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:04 PM GMT
    Some people like to be alone, its a personal preference. In no way a problem, or anything like that. It's almost funny that someone would pose a question wondering if that's okay.
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:26 PM GMT
    Meeting a nice, cute guy who is potential relationship material is just the beginning. After the initial interest comes the real work of learning about them. Their personality, beliefs, motivations, goals, interests, abilities, fetishes, etc. Does their melange configure nicely with your own? Can it? Invariably red flags show up and you start to doubt the effort to build something will be worthwhile. Or maybe you can live with that annoying character flaw since x, y, or z characteristics out way the bad ones.

    So losing interest pretty quickly could be the result of over analyzing these factors rather than just going with the flow to discover their soul. After repeatedly deciding the guy is wrong, then maybe each subsequent guy is at a disadvantage since you may be jumping to that conclusion too early based on the re-occurrence of similar signs that may not be accurate predictors of past encounters.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    May 30, 2010 9:15 PM GMT
    maximumrisk saidI am not quite sure how to discribe my problem, not even if it actually is a problem. Ever since I started a new Job at a Callcenter I keep on ditching every guy I meet. I used to be horny every day and had at least one date a week. Now I just hold the guys I meet out till they say themselfs that they dont want anymore and I just feel stupid. On the one side I want sex and find a Guy for me on the other I cant make space in my Head for it anymore.

    I know that its said that the hormon push of the teenage Years will go down at some point or another, but the change just seems to radical for me. Yesterday I met a guy in the Disco and went home with him, just to leave 2 hours later since I couldnt sleep and felt completly uncomfortable. Though the guy was really cute and sweet. I just dont get whats going on with me.


    No change in the situation so far, though I learned that it is way easier when I simply dont care for sex. Yesterday I could sencerly say to a nice guy I know "No, thank you" while he was trying to get touchy. I never thought I would say that to a guy like this and really mean it.

    I just think its hollarious how suddenly most guys that normally avoided me now try to get into my pants.I should have known that earlier.
  • seven_deadly_...

    Posts: 104

    May 31, 2010 5:52 AM GMT
    maximumrisk saidI am not quite sure how to discribe my problem, not even if it actually is a problem. Ever since I started a new Job at a Callcenter I keep on ditching every guy I meet. I used to be horny every day and had at least one date a week. Now I just hold the guys I meet out till they say themselfs that they dont want anymore and I just feel stupid. On the one side I want sex and find a Guy for me on the other I cant make space in my Head for it anymore.

    I know that its said that the hormon push of the teenage Years will go down at some point or another, but the change just seems to radical for me. Yesterday I met a guy in the Disco and went home with him, just to leave 2 hours later since I couldnt sleep and felt completly uncomfortable. Though the guy was really cute and sweet. I just dont get whats going on with me.


    Hmmm...are you saying that you've lost your sex drive? Or are you saying that you've lost the desire to be in a relationship?
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    May 31, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    chemguy79 saidWhen a guy is single and has an interest in dating (two important caveats), he is bound to go through cycles of being interested versus being indifferent to the dating process. If you're busy with other parts of your life, it's understandable to have little interest in dating.

    I have absolutely no interest in dating right now since I have too many things on my plate right now. Will that change at some point? Definitely! However, I'm fine with everything else in my life right now. Besides, I have hands and lube, I'm fine with dating my right hand.


    Is your right hand available this Friday?
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    May 31, 2010 6:20 PM GMT
    seven_deadly_monkeys said
    maximumrisk saidI am not quite sure how to discribe my problem, not even if it actually is a problem. Ever since I started a new Job at a Callcenter I keep on ditching every guy I meet. I used to be horny every day and had at least one date a week. Now I just hold the guys I meet out till they say themselfs that they dont want anymore and I just feel stupid. On the one side I want sex and find a Guy for me on the other I cant make space in my Head for it anymore.

    I know that its said that the hormon push of the teenage Years will go down at some point or another, but the change just seems to radical for me. Yesterday I met a guy in the Disco and went home with him, just to leave 2 hours later since I couldnt sleep and felt completly uncomfortable. Though the guy was really cute and sweet. I just dont get whats going on with me.


    Hmmm...are you saying that you've lost your sex drive? Or are you saying that you've lost the desire to be in a relationship?


    I kind of lost the drive for anything. No sex, no relationships(may they be romantic or friendly)
  • seven_deadly_...

    Posts: 104

    May 31, 2010 6:31 PM GMT
    maximumrisk said
    seven_deadly_monkeys said
    maximumrisk saidI am not quite sure how to discribe my problem, not even if it actually is a problem. Ever since I started a new Job at a Callcenter I keep on ditching every guy I meet. I used to be horny every day and had at least one date a week. Now I just hold the guys I meet out till they say themselfs that they dont want anymore and I just feel stupid. On the one side I want sex and find a Guy for me on the other I cant make space in my Head for it anymore.

    I know that its said that the hormon push of the teenage Years will go down at some point or another, but the change just seems to radical for me. Yesterday I met a guy in the Disco and went home with him, just to leave 2 hours later since I couldnt sleep and felt completly uncomfortable. Though the guy was really cute and sweet. I just dont get whats going on with me.


    Hmmm...are you saying that you've lost your sex drive? Or are you saying that you've lost the desire to be in a relationship?


    I kind of lost the drive for anything. No sex, no relationships(may they be romantic or friendly)


    Is it possible you're experiencing depression? Or something similar. That could kill both your sex drive and your desire to be social with others.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    May 31, 2010 7:34 PM GMT
    seven_deadly_monkeys said
    Is it possible you're experiencing depression? Or something similar. That could kill both your sex drive and your desire to be social with others.


    That would explain it, though I dont know what to do about it. This started happening when I started my new Job and I cant just quit because of this. Or rather I keep hanging on till the depression or whatever solves by itself.