Curious. What kind of challenges does everyone have meeting men?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    Just curious to know, what kinds of challenges you face when trying to meet your Mr. Right.
  • myklet1

    Posts: 345

    Mar 16, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    I am extremely shy. People that know me are so surprised at that. I can't remember ever walking up and just talking to someone. I freeze. But if I do talk to someone and they are my definition of fun I can usually loosen up and have a good time.
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    Mar 16, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    Not that I am a dude magnet by a long shot, but the problem seems to not be in meeting men, but in becoming a person that I would like to date, realizing I will never fully be there, and accepting my flaws. I know it is a work in progress, but I am afraid to open up to guys until I am 'perfect.' Considering how far away I am, I need to come back to reality or be single through an eternal quixotic quest that will never be fully realized.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    I like really masculine guys and I have a poorly developed gaydar.

    So, I'm always walking a fine line between meeting Mr. Right and getting skull dragged across the parking lot.
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    Mar 16, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    They tend to think I'm insane
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 16, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    Mr Right is a moving target. Sometimes he's a butch guy from Minnesotta with a plaid jacket and a hunting rifle. Sometimes he's a blond buff surfer from California. Sometimes he's a preppy rich stock broker from NYC. They all are fun to play with, and could be the one, but finding him is like when Chevy Chase puts the plug and socket together in Christmas Vacation, and the current flows and the sparks fly. Mr Right could be any one of the guys around us. Finding the guy that makes the heart go crazy and the sparks fly is the challenge. There are six billion people on the planet. OK only about 4 billion are men. That narrows it down a bit I guess. I think that might have been what you were asking. Where the hell do we go to find Mr Right?
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 16, 2010 1:34 AM GMT
    oops 2.5 million. I was never good a math. 6 divided by 2 is 4. Duh. It's this daylight savings thing. What the hell was George Bush thinking making it change so early? We're all driving to work in the dark again up north, and crashing into each other because we're half asleep and less mathematically perceptive too apparently!
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Mar 16, 2010 1:35 AM GMT

    the main ones are:

    - he's closeted
    - he's not nearby
    - family, relationship, outside influences ... all serving as obstacles

    in terms of me:

    - I can be impulsive
    - I am a graduate student and on the cusp of finishing, so employment is a big time focus
    - I am rather abstract in my thinking and then there is, later, a synthesis
    - I am not right for most
    - I need to work on not being so oblivious in some respects
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    I work too much and it cuts into my social time. I'm also a home-body and prefer to hang with one or two people rather than go to larger parties. The last time I went out where there is a good gay guy turnout it was so loud you couldn't carry on a conversation... so what's the point? I can't meet people in that environment. I go camping a lot in the summers... mostly families. Hitting on a random dad seems kinda dangerous!! LOL Yeah, my gaydar sucks, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    The guys I talk to just want to hook up (it never gets pass talking).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    I spent so long being in the closet and trying to go unnoticed that I became very efficient at it. I still feel mostly unnoticed and have an in-op gaydar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 3:04 AM GMT
    Many men out there are douchebags. Many gay men do not speak with honesty.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    jrs1 said
    the main ones are:

    - he's closeted
    - he's not nearby
    - family, relationship, outside influences ... all serving as obstacles

    in terms of me:

    - I can be impulsive
    - I am a graduate student and on the cusp of finishing, so employment is a big time focus
    - I am rather abstract in my thinking and then there is, later, a synthesis
    - I am not right for most
    - I need to work on not being so oblivious in some respects



    is it creepy how our lives are so similar?
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Mar 16, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    Body Dysmorphia, non-existent gaydar, and very low self-esteem...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 4:27 AM GMT
    1.Non-existant gaydar, so bad that I'd even question Richard Simmons...no really.icon_lol.gif
    2.Working on my self esteem issues. It's either the guy couldn't possibly be interested in me or if he is, there's no way I can measure to the guy I made him out to be in my head. I make the assumption that his life is perfect, knowing logically that it's not.

    Plus I have no clue when someone is hitting on me.

    Just tonight at the gym, a really cute Ginger was blowing drying his hair. Looked at me and winked. I thought he has something in his eye. Hot naked Euro man walks by with no towel, Ginger watches guy's cock, I watch Ginger's reaction. I realized he's gay. Damn!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 4:28 AM GMT
    I am always lookin for guys that remind me of my friends. For many obvious reasons, mainly cause my friends are the ones I am most attracted to (intellectually, and lifestyle wise). That, and I want to be with a guy that is not effeminate at all. That's just how I am, my friends are, and would like them to be. Qualities I look for are kind of strange, but reflect my own interest and traits I gravitate towards...Musicians, machanics, hard workers, can build stuff, hot rods, outdoors (for real, not just stated in a profile), can shoot a gun, likes to go hunting from time to time, and can handle his liquar, and drinks beer rather than some fruity shit. All qualities which are not rare at all around here, but for a gay dude to have them...it is.

    Guess why I joined this site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 4:30 AM GMT
    My gaydar's busted

    His gaydar doesn't pick me up

    I'm unusually shy when I see certain guys

    I'm dense when someone's hitting on me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 16, 2010 4:42 AM GMT
    I would imagine that the internet is an impediment to meeting Mister Right. Too many distractions, few of which are for real/pan out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 5:40 AM GMT
    -Apparently I don't have gaydar

    -I seem to be interested in "regular" guys, but often those are the ones that do not seem gay at all so we get in this rut where no one knows how to break the friend boundary and go ostensibly flirty, not to mention sexual.

    -I do not want to look weak or get my feelings hurt, so when I really like a guy I'm stone cold and sometimes end up indirectly shooting them down. To me it's like stuttering but I am desperately trying to stop doing it. icon_confused.gif
    (I need help too!!???) lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 5:45 AM GMT
    Kickstart saidI like really masculine guys and I have a poorly developed gaydar.

    So, I'm always walking a fine line between meeting Mr. Right and getting skull dragged across the parking lot.

    This is like the gay "human condition" but I often think the same way icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 5:58 AM GMT
    I was debating whether or not to post, but I decided that being truthful with myself is good for my soul. My challenge is myself. Always trying to come up with some reason why a guy won't like me or go out with me, but assigning said reason to them and just backing off. I've been single for a very long time and it is mostly my own fault. Ever hear of the self-fulfilling prophesy? I know it well and though I am better now with it now, it has always been a stumbling block for me. I have physical issues that I hold against myself for not putting myself out there and they are things I can change or deal with. Some are not and can never be dealt with other than with a screw it mindset which I will get into here because I know how threads can be highjacked off topic. So yeah, I got issues, just as we all do.
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    Mar 17, 2010 6:02 AM GMT
    greghalpen saidJust curious to know, what kinds of challenges you face when trying to meet your Mr. Right.



    It is hard and almost to impossible finding Mr.Right when most don't give you much less themselves the right amount of time to get to know more about each other. I do seem to have a pretty good gaydar thou. icon_redface.gif


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 6:25 AM GMT
    A lot of guys dont believe that Im gay! icon_sad.gif I dont know how else to prove it to them......icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    I don't open up quickly enough. I guess it's the Yankee in me...

    Trust...it's a bitch!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 7:00 AM GMT
    I'm never in a social situation to meet men and talk to them based on interests, attraction, etc.
    My facade is cold and distant, which I try very hard to overcome.
    I'm afraid of men. I think every guy is gay, but they're obviously not, so I can't show interest in anyone.