It sounds like you're limiting your options to me. I'm the non-flaming nerd variety of gay (although I own my own house so not in my parents' basement
) and would rather code or dick around in photoshop than kick a ball around. I don't really have many (any?) real life gay friends and only a handful of gay acquaintances, mainly due to the rarity of gays in every-day life and my lack of going ot of my way to seek them out (i maintain few friends as is). One of my best (straight) friends has described me as a straight loser nerd trapped in the body of a gay cute guy, whatever that means.
With all that said though, I have no trouble hanging out and enjoying the company of people from various walks, be it jocky sports fans, flaming gay guys, and whatever else. I will even forego nerdiness and kick a ball around if the company is good. And this coming from an anti-social loser nerd, don't forget. Why is it that you can't do better, assuming how well adjusted you claim to be in terms of the social norm, I wonder, and instead can only find frustration? I'm not sure how it is that you are rejecting friendship with someone over one of many possible qualities. One of the things you might learn as you gain more experience is that people are highly varied, regardless of what umbrella you put them under. I understand fully that you might not be crazy about the flamy-ness of a person and might find various nerd interests uninteresting, however, that person is likely to have a variety of other qualities and interests as well, some of which you might end up finding interesting.
I think, basically, reducing people to one of their more salient qualities is fairly short sighted if you are actually looking for some sort of meaningful friendship. Unless of course, your own interests are one-dimensional enough to where you can only fit a very narrow mold in terms of what you enjoy (or can enjoy) doing.