Ever wish you had come out at an earlier age?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2010 10:57 PM GMT
    I came out for the first time when I was 13. It was my best friend and I made them promise not to tell anyone. Since then, I’ve slowly come out to more people and aside from the occasional asshole, my sexuality has become a non-issue to most. I had my first boyfriend and sexual experience when I was 15. I’ve dealt with sex, heartbreaks, guys, and all of the drama that goes along with first coming out. I’m only 18. A lot of gay men talk about going through the “adolescent” phase after coming out. I was lucky enough to go through the “adolescent” phase while I was indeed an adolescent. I’ve made stupid mistakes and I’m happy that I learned them at such a young age. I’m thankful for previous generations that have kind of paved the way for guys like me to come out at a younger age. I see guys on here who have been married, had kids, and finally come out in their 40s. I could never imagine waiting that long. My question is, do you ever wish you had come out at an earlier age? What factors contributed to you coming out at the age that you did?
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    Mar 17, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    I came out when i was 12. As In, told everyone I was gay allll at once ahaha.

    Sometimes I wish I had been more..tactful and less factual but I wouldn't change it otherwise.
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    Mar 17, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
    came out when I was 16, the only person who had any problems with it was my mother but that was over pretty quickly.. I was sexual active before I came out.

    I don't think I needed to come out any earlier or later, after I came out it was pretty much a none issue for me, I was gay and that was the end of it..
  • Timbales

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    Mar 17, 2010 11:16 PM GMT
    I don't think I would have survived knowing I was gay in high school, not in my town.
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    Mar 18, 2010 1:13 AM GMT
    You're very lucky. If I came out in high school (Catholic school) I don't think it would have been pretty.

    I came out at 20/21. I think I did ok.
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    Mar 18, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    I came out at 25 and felt I had missed out on so much. College could have been even better and hotter. icon_redface.gif
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    Mar 18, 2010 1:34 AM GMT
    My first sexual experience of any kind was with a guy at 17, then with a girl at 20, and then dated women from 20-27, then came out at 27. I wish I had come out a lot sooner. But I don't regret the relationships I had either.
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    Mar 18, 2010 1:38 AM GMT
    I started coming out to friends at 23, and finally came out to my parents at 26. For both, I don't know if it was the right time per se, but it was time.

    My parents already had an idea though...getting busted looking at gay porn online a few times as a teen tends to do that lol
  • gumbosolo

    Posts: 382

    Mar 18, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    Yeah, often. I wish I'd pushed more limits and made my town an easier place for other kids to live. I was too prideful and superior back then to admit I needed to be loved like anyone else, and while I'm not sure I missed out on any sexual experiences or romances that I would have valued, I know my attitude toward sexuality bled into all my relationships and pushed some people away. Coming out at twenty started a long, slow humbling process that has made me able to connect with all kinds of people more deeply.
  • westdave

    Posts: 212

    Mar 18, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    Yes...I do wish I came out at an earlier age...two main reasons I didn't were

    1.) It was the height of the AIDS epidemic, and
    2.) I attract women as well as men
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    Yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 2:38 AM GMT


    EVERYDAY!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    Didn’t come out till 29.
    Do I regret not coming out sooner? Only a few times a day.
    What precipitated it? The woman I was engaged to asked me why I would marry her when I clearly liked men.
  • thatonedude21

    Posts: 223

    Mar 18, 2010 2:46 AM GMT
    Do I regret not coming out earlier.. no and I don't really wish I had come out earlier either.. I think I came out at the perfect moment in my life. (Right after 21st)
    I went to private schools that were anti-gay, my father put me back in the closet after he saw me looking at gay porn when I was 14, and I was not ready to come out until recently.. so meh.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 2:55 AM GMT
    Not really. I only started dealing with my sexuality at 19 and came out at 21. I don`t think much would have changed had I done it a few years earlier. Before 19, I would never have faced my sexuality let alone come out given I was living in a pretty traditional, close minded place. I am actually pretty surprised I did it at 21.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 2:55 AM GMT
    Yes, but not at the sacrafice on me not having kids.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    I came out when I was 21 (yeah, college boys!!). But I still kept many people in the dark until I was, like, 27 because I didn't see why I should "advertise" myself to my (then) straight friends. I kinda wish I came out sooner, like 17 or 18. But I'm proud I came out early enough and had my share of meeting and dating some cool guys.

    I like these coming-out topics! I never get bored reading or listening to other peoples' coming out stories since each one is so distinct and interesting in their unique way.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Mar 18, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    I used to until I moved to a place with a large gay community. it's.... different, to say the least.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    My ex-wife blew open the closet door with dynamite when I was 45. I wish I had done so in high school. The earlier the better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    Wish I had come out at 15. Sex in high school or university for that matter would have been fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    I was 25 when I realized I liked guys more than women, and no, I never wish things had unfolded any differently - I would have missed out on too many awesome relationships and experiences. I would feel really limited, in some ways, not having experienced both sides of the fence.
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    Mar 18, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    mizu5 saidI came out when i was 12. As In, told everyone I was gay allll at once ahaha.

    Sometimes I wish I had been more..tactful and less factual but I wouldn't change it otherwise.


    I came FULLY out at 12, but lucky you, you're in a way more accepting country!

    But I definitely love that I came out so early, being gay and being an advocate for gay rights and all that kind of stuff through my youth has helped me grow. Many people from my high school will remember me and my appeal to normalcy and may one day vote Yes on the new Prop 8 because of it later in life. Coming out that early made me a nice ambassador to gay rights and information -- definitely don't regret it at all.

    The only downside was at 12, guys are stupid, and I lost almost all my guy friends which has made me very distant to most straight guys today, even when they really do want to be my friend. It would have been nice to keep those friends. Oh well...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    kind of came out when i was 23. Then sort of went back in closet, trying a self made conversion therapy due to some very strong outside influence.
    Good thing i wasn't mormon, being a moron was sufficient.
    Finally , early 40's. i came out in a clear solid statement.

    yeah, i wish i had just stayed out , but i'm not a person that looks back very much. What's ahead keeps me busy enough.
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    Mar 18, 2010 4:53 AM GMT
    i came out when i was 22. So recently. I wish i was out when I was alot younger. I still feel shame about being gay. :s
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    Mar 18, 2010 4:55 AM GMT
    xassantex saidkind of came out when i was 23. Then sort of went back in closet,


    sounds like me...i was out at 17, then again at 25, then again around 40, finally at 48 i'm out out.

    now i am finding that "coming out" is more than just telling the world. for the record, i don't think i'll be going back into the closet. done with that.