I WAS STOOD UP!!!!!! IN A VERY BIG WAY!!!!

  • psustud

    Posts: 111

    Mar 18, 2010 3:22 AM GMT
    So I might be just be venting here, but I "gotta story to tell"!

    This will be LONG, so if you don't have much time just read the red parts.

    Two weeks ago I met this guy on here. Okay looking and such. Something said to me "This guy's special, give him a shot".

    So we met. He acted strange the whole time, biting his nails, tapping his knees and eventually telling me how much he really really liked me already and how hard he was fighting to control his urge to jump all over me. Honestly, no exaggeration.

    I thought, strange, but I still like him.

    We concluded our semi- first date (we just met at Gym Bar, DID'NT DRINK, and ended up at a Pink Berry only minutes later) with him telling me how much he wanted to treat me to dinner. He set a date up with me that was to happen on a Wednesday (we met on Saturday). We both left, hugged and kissed on the street and parted ways. He told me he didn't want to walk too long with me since he needed to take a long walk alone to get some things off his mind. He didn't tell me what until we texted later that night (text exchange bellow).

    Only hours later he started sending me some pretty interesting text:

    Before you read the transcript bellow, allow me to finish the story.

    The next day (Sunday), I text him to say how much I enjoyed meeting him...

    No response.


    Six hours later, I text him again to say good night and ask if he got the earlier text...

    No Response.

    Monday, I text one last time to ask if anything had happened ect....

    No Response.

    About an hour later I send him a message, here on this site, asking if he was okay and such... you know... maybe he lost or broke his phone.

    NO RESPONSE.

    Two days pass.... no response

    Wednesday, the day of our proposed next date, rolls around. Nothing. Thursday, Nothing. I've been stood up!


    Keep in mind now, I honestly don't pursue guys this way at all.
    It's just that I couldn't help, but absolutely have to know how this guy could completely ignore my follow-ups after saying the things he said about really liking me on our date and the crazy things he texted me the night of our date. I mean, there's just no reason to lie like that... if he was lying at all.

    Eventually, after affirmatively expressing how I felt and telling him what I thought of him telling me how much he liked me and sending me his racy texts only to ignore me completely.... (used the words evil and coward somewhere in there)

    He finally responds, telling me that he changed his mind. My age was an issue. Yeah Right. I'm 25, he's 32. My profile says I'm 25.

    I know this post is long winded enough, but read the transcript of the texts he sent me the night of our date and help me out....

    After reading this kind of thing (texts bellow), do you think this guy had the right to both stand me up and just change his mind without saying a single word to me???

    Our text exchange, word for word, bellow:



    Me: I had a great time. I really look forward to Wednesday. Have a good night.
    Him: Me Too! I have to be honest bout you though... May I say it?
    Me: Go ahead.
    Him: I was thinking bad thoughts
    Him: A big black beautiful lovely man... Take me over!!!!
    Me: That's great man. That's not a bad thing. I thought you were so cute.
    Him: I think so. THat's why I needed to walk it off!
    Me: I wanted to go back to your place... Haha yeah right.
    Him: I'm so bad! I can't help it. I am very sexual. I felt safe with you and at the same time wanted you inside me. I'm terrible. I'm sad I felt that.
    Me: It's called being horny, lol. Not a bad thing. It's what ALL PEOPLE feel when they're attracted to someone.
    Him: Maybe... But I felt so very attracted..l Like amazingly. It hurt. Your kiss was poinson... I can still taste you.
    Him: I can't stop thinking about you.

    Me: I wanted to kiss you more and longer, but there were two old ladies behind us. What you said makes me happy ;)
    Him: I'm afraid to be alone with you.
    Me: Why? Ha. You're getting me hard.
    Him: I'm lost in the city still walking thinking about you. I need to be with you.
    Me: Really?
    Him: Yes. Now in a taxi... Downtown... Just hopped in
    (I live Downtown, we met in Chelsea - just bellow midtown)
    Him: Can I come over.
    Me: Well I want u too, but I have both my roommates here....
    Him: Yes, I know. I'll go Home.
    Me: But I definitely wish u could come here.
    Him: It's better to wait.
    Him: I don't think you find me attractive.
    Me: I find you very attractive.
    Him: It fears me that I could fall for you.
    Me: Well we'll see what happens. Right now I'm at... I want to see you again soon.
    Him: Me too. Have a good night. I'm home now.
    Me: You have a great night too.
    Me: I'm really looking forward to the next time we see eac: other again.
    Him: Me too baby
    Me: icon_smile.gif
    Next day
    Me: How are you?
    Me : Hey ___. Did you get my message yesterday? Are we still on for Wednesday.

    I was ignored from there on out.

    After reading all that. Do you agree that, after send me all that and then changing his mind, he kind of had an obligation to tell me.

    I know it's a bit immature of me to post all this, but I just had to get this off my mind. It is not my intention to embarrass this guy. I probably won't even let this post stay up indefinitely.

    This just really pissed me off!



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:33 AM GMT
    He's a nutcase. Feel happy that you found out so soon, so that you didnt waste a whole lot of time on him. You should feel like you dodged a bullet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    PSUSTUD SAID"

    After reading this kind of thing (texts bellow), do you think this guy had the right to both stand me up and just change his mind without saying a single word to me???


    Ok for one he has the rt to do anything and to be a complete idiot falls into that category. Is this the first time you've been stood up? It happens. Let this be a lesson to follow your instincts and if he reaches out to you again... Thanks but no thanks is all that needs to be said. No need to be nasty or rude but invest your time wisely as it's something you can't replace once taken.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
    Sounds like the guy really needs a Xanax.

    He might have revealed way too much in those first texts (Your kiss was like poison?).

    Maybe he's aware he went wacko and now he's afraid to face it.
  • psustud

    Posts: 111

    Mar 18, 2010 3:55 AM GMT
    Thanks for the input.

    He might be nuts, but honestly he was really sweet!


    No no no, this is not my first tiem being stood up or having a guy stop responding... I've just never had things go so well, and then get ignored.

    Any time I've been ignored, I at least have a clue why. Things probably went bad.
    In this case, things went swimmingly well.

    Although I thought it was weird of this guy to reveal so much, he almost had me contemplating a future with him....I know crazy right! Jeez
    But I mean, he was better looking in person, seemed to have success and his shit together (omitting some off color things he revealed, a little too quickly, regarding his family and BFs).

    Oh well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 4:20 AM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidHe's a nutcase. Feel happy that you found out so soon, so that you didnt waste a whole lot of time on him. You should feel like you dodged a bullet.


    I agree! why bother wanting an explanation when the guy obviously is out of your life! I've been through similar situations, and yes from time to time it still happens, but it doesn't phase me anymore! I figured why waste time on something that is no longer in my present whatever it might be! there are many people worth waiting, please do enjoy them while it lasts!! but just the same when they stop being part of your life, for whatever reason, you will soon learn everyone that cross your path start out as unmarked trails, and so when they go astray they leave you with a sense of being lost!? but do they? if we look back every human contact leaves long marked trails of knowledge and wisdom behind us. Unfortunately most of us won't see those long winding roads until time allow us to have a better view of them in the future. So for now just keep on trekking because love is a long road full of many unpredictable but beautiful scenery!!


    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 18, 2010 5:03 AM GMT
    Oh dear God.....RU ok?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    Count your blessings and move on....stop wasting your time dwelling on it. The longer u think about it, the longer he's in your life. You're young, you're hot and you'll find ALOT better...and plus..its NY...whaddaya expect?? lolicon_razz.gif
  • psustud

    Posts: 111

    Mar 18, 2010 5:27 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidOh dear God.....RU ok?


    haha.. Yeah yeah yeah. Im completely fine. I like to "hear myself talk sometimes"

    best regards
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 5:28 AM GMT
    Mystic_Man saidOh dear God.....RU ok?

    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 6:01 AM GMT
    bitch sounds crazy.....u lucked out....he might have cut ur nutsack with a knife after u done teabaggin him.....lolzicon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 6:09 AM GMT
    probably he had a wife who happened to read all those text you sent to each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 6:50 AM GMT
    You should fight to maintain a relationship with someone you have spend years with.

    Nutcases like this are doing you a favour by letting you know early on they are not worth the effort.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 9:14 AM GMT
    Story of my life for some reason too

    guys are jerks
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 9:48 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]psustud said[/cite]Thanks for the input.

    He might be nuts, but honestly he was really sweet!
    quote]

    This is where your going to have problems. Why are you defending him? What you saw was a clear presentation of who he is. Things went well he lead you on but in the end his lack of respect for you rose above anything else. What he did was rude to say the least, so why and how is he really sweet? Kinda sweet ppl would have at least sent a last text that read sry things won't wrk out for me sry to lead you on. That would have been the adult thing to do but instead he acts like a 12 yr old and you find his behavior still sweet on some level?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Mar 18, 2010 10:00 AM GMT
    Something sketchy about this guy
    Draw a pentagram on your kitchen floor and light a candle
    in the center and thank the universe he's not around icon_cool.gif
  • psustud

    Posts: 111

    Mar 18, 2010 11:13 AM GMT
    Hillie... You're totally right.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 11:32 AM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidHe's a nutcase. Feel happy that you found out so soon, so that you didnt waste a whole lot of time on him. You should feel like you dodged a bullet.

    I agree, total basket case. You do run into them, though the wrapper doesn't always let you know beforehand what's inside.

    The OP is a gorgeous-looking man, who writes well, too (a big plus with me), giving me yet another reason to wish I were about 32 again. Because if a 7-year age difference is an issue, against his 25, then half of us would be monks. Further proving this other guy was a looney, or else just fishing for reasons to say no.

    psustud: This shit happens, it's not you. A catch like you won't go without for very long. Courage, mon ami, but thanks for a good story, that reminds us of the pitfalls & hazards out there. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 18, 2010 11:35 AM GMT
    He is a situational dater . He gets his thrills that way . Sick fuck if you ask me . And the best part of it is that he is a broken and pathetic Fag . Wow , Could you imagine living you life that way? So take comfort . And remember that you are not him . And that should make you feel better . icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 11:37 AM GMT
    TRACKBOY111 saidHe is a situational dater . He gets his thrills that way . Sick fuck if you ask me . And the best part of it is that he is a broken and pathetic Fag . Wow , Could you imagine living you life that way? So take comfort . And remember that you are not him . And that should make you feel better . icon_biggrin.gif

    Good grief, that made ME feel better! Nicely said!
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 18, 2010 12:06 PM GMT
    Hey guy, your very young yet even at 25. You just experienced what many of us guys already have. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF GAY DATING!!! There are so many guy out there who don't know what they want. After reading your post, my diagnosis is that he just wanted to get you into bed. Keep the experience in your mental file and move on. Remember the signs and the behaviors and move on to the next guy. Good luck dude.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 18, 2010 12:42 PM GMT
    I agree with much of what has been said above. He certainly isn't grounded or has any serious interest. Its one thing if he had been seriously injured and couldn't respond. My immediate reaction is he's interested in you physically as a hook and
    you didn't see it that way at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 12:46 PM GMT
    Yea, I wouldn't think too much about it. The previous lack of replies might have been a headsup that the guy had led you on. Bullet dodged, I agree.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 12:48 PM GMT
    cityguy39 said You just experienced what many of us guys already have. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF GAY DATING!!!

    If nothing like this has happened to you before, you're either totally irresistible or you don't get out much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 12:51 PM GMT
    Tell the guy he needs to move to Miami Beach. He'd fit right in.