...so bummed...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:45 PM GMT
    I spend a lot of time at the gym.
    I have a lot of friends there, we go snow boarding, dancing, drinking, we do holiday and birthday parties for each other, we support each others businesses and endeavors, I've even met some of their families.

    I just found out that one of my guy friends was cycling over the Marin headlands Sunday and had a seizure... they didn't find him till Monday afternoon, he had passed. I rode on that very same route the day before.

    I'm at work and totally can't focus because I'm distraught over his death. We don't know yet if he came back to consciousness or if he passed peacefully. I'm so terribly sad thinking that he might have been there hurt, scared and alone when he died... with no one to show him love.

    I'm hoping he saw the sunset over the pacific and wasn't cold from the ocean wind and marine layer... I'm not a stranger to death at all but this is so adversely affecting me because of the thought of him potentially suffering outside alone.

    I don't know what to do with myself right now...
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 18, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
    I hope he passed peacefully and you can take solace in the fact he was doing something he loved when it happened.
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
    Awww, Joaquin...hugs, man. That really sucks, but I think I'd follow Timberoo's example - find a measure of solace in that he was doing something he loved, and in a place he loved. I'd take that over a lingering, wasting death on life support or an old person's home anyday.
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
    I can't imagine a more beautiful place to die... on a pacific ocean peninsula overlooking the ocean and sunset.

    Yeah... it was something he loved... I'm just so bummed he was alone.

    I hope it was peaceful too... thanks guys.
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    Mar 18, 2010 7:52 PM GMT
    Oh man...I don't know what to say. I guess all we can do is keep breathing because everything happens for a reason and it was his time to go.

    It's good that he passed doing something he enjoyed and loved.

    Rest in peace.

    So, so sad...
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    Mar 18, 2010 8:08 PM GMT
    So tragic. It's terrible trying to imagine what somebody's last moments were, how they were feeling, what they saw. I hope he passed away peacefully. Sorry it happened to your friend, and sorry for you and everybody he was close to. icon_sad.gif

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    Mar 18, 2010 8:16 PM GMT
    thanks guys... I think I'm going to leave work and go for a drive over the bridge and sit on the headlands for a bit, I need to clear my head. Thanks for letting me ramble...
    I'll talk to you all later.
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    Mar 18, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    Go home…why are you staying at work?
    Run a hot bath and open that bottle of wine you’ve been saving.


    Big bear hugs to you
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    Mar 18, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    Oh J icon_eek.gif

    Hugs for you
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    Mar 18, 2010 10:10 PM GMT
    Have a good cry icon_sad.gif

    What the guys here said is pretty wise -- it's awful he left too soon, but it's not a bad thing to go out biking the Marin Headlands.

    Yesterday, I walked past an impromptu memorial set up against a storefront. Curious, I walked up to see who it was for and it turned out it was someone I knew pretty well. The shock of something like that is always overwhelming. Feels like the floor just dropped out from under you and you're falling.

    We'll catch you, J.

    Love and cupcakes,

    K (and RJ)
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    Mar 18, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    I am very sorry for your loss. There really is no easy way to deal with a situation like this. I would hope that one thing we can all take away from this is that we don't know what tomorrow may bring and at the end of the day, we should be happy to have crossed the paths of amazing people in our lives. I, too, hope it was a peaceful passing and that you and the rest of the guys can sit around and remember him for the fantastic person he was.
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    Mar 18, 2010 10:28 PM GMT
    Aw man, that totally sucks. All the others here gave pretty good advice already. Do what feels good to you. Get together with his friends to grieve and to remember him, if you feel like it. Thinking of you.
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    Mar 18, 2010 11:36 PM GMT
    Big J., I'm so sorry.
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    Mar 18, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    I am so sorry for your loss.....HUGE HUGGS from me!
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 19, 2010 12:13 AM GMT
    I would also like to express my sympathy for you and his other loved ones. I hope your trip to the headlands helps.

    And I hope you don't concern yourself too much about under what condition your friend passed away in. His passing pales in comparison to his life. I'm sure that's how he wanted to be remembered.

    So instead think about how he enriched your life and the lives of those who knew him.
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    Mar 19, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    icon_sad.gif Sorry to hear that.
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    Mar 19, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    ErikTaurean said we don't know what tomorrow may bring and at the end of the day, we should be happy to have crossed the paths of amazing people in our lives.

    Something for all of us to think about. Don't take anyone for granted.
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    Mar 19, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif God bless
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    Mar 19, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    I'm very sorry for your loss. Your friend was very lucky to have people in his life who, like you, loved him, shared time with him and supported him. I wish you and the others who knew your friend peace and solace in the days ahead.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 19, 2010 1:43 AM GMT
    I have nothing to add, but my voice to the above comments. They have already said what I would have crafted.
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    Mar 19, 2010 12:45 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry to hear this Joaquin.
    Time heals
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 19, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    It sounds like he appreciated your friends and his life as much as you do. He wasn't alone when he passed and you shouldn't think he was. He might have been "physically alone", but you were all with him. It sounds like you all are always together, enjoying your time together and life. I can understand your great sadness, but you know what he'd tell you to do. Remember him as he'd want you to.
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    Mar 19, 2010 1:05 PM GMT
    Bummed?? That's an understatement!!

    I am SO sorry to hear about your friend! Hang in there man! My best to you all!
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    Mar 19, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    Hey J...*big hugs* ...the guy has a good friend...you. You love and love well..

    xo-us
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    Mar 23, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
    I'm back... I spent a few days processing my grief and loss.
    The kindness and thoughtful presence you have displayed wasn't lost or taken for granted.
    Thank you all for the show of support... it made such a huge difference.
    much love to all of you, my RJ peeps... xoxo ~ j