I need to blow off some steam.

  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 19, 2010 2:37 AM GMT
    NickoftheNorth's earlier post finally got me to place this rant on here. He didn't piss me off (actually quite the opposite). Here goes. Note that I never curse online or in person unless I am actually very pissed off.

    I don't want one fucking person to say that they are sorry about this. Not one of you. My brother has a disability. A significant one, but not one that is so severe that we didn't attempt to make it so that he could support himself and not be a burden on society. He graduated high school, even started college, but couldn't get the help he needed to pursue the degree he wanted. He was looking to get a business degree at a program in south Florida.

    He lived there on his own, and lives up here now. Bought himself a condo. Got a physical labor job severing food at a nearby hospital. He works his god damned ass off every day. Went in almost every time they called him in unexpectedly. Slept on the floor in the hospital for over a week after they requested he do so, so that he could work during the snow storms. Then they fire him for getting sick after five nights there. This isn't the first time they tried to can him for something, not only stupid, but something that THEY CAUSED.

    Why do they do this? His reviews are all spotless. He works whenever they want him to, and does the job expected from a person without a physical or mental disability. He seems like a good employee, one that isn't just waiting until they can graduate from college to move on. We think we are different? Complain about not finding the right fucking guy? He can't even get a date because all women seem to think is "he walks funny" "he talks funny" "he can't hold a deep intellectual conversation". You want the sweetest guy in the world that would bend over as far backwards as he could... he's waiting right here. What is he waiting for? To be fired again by the next jackass boss that sees him as different. Well, that and it supports conservative legislation that Regan signed off on. Thanks again assholes. People with disabilities shouldn't work. They should rely on the government. Brilliant move anti-Welfare state douche.

    The best part... oh now for the best god damned part. The disability community, you know the one he is a part of. Yeah, that community, is the only one with open enrollment. Yes, you too can join at any moment. Car accident? Slip in the tub. Too many loud rock concerts? Congratulations you are another person the whole world doesn't give a fuck about. You think we are powerless? Once our legislation gets passed it is passed. The ADA (basically civil rights legislation for people with disabilities) is so fucking vague that it isn't worth a penny. Oh, but it gets better, boy does it get better... 54 million Americans have a disability. Nearly 1 billion humans do.

    The next time you whine about not getting your partners pension, or not being able to get a decent date or the body you want. Take a fucking look around you and consider the god damned fact that you had any of those three things in the first place. Now STFU and GTFO.
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    Mar 19, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    In total agreement and empathy with you here. My brother is dyslexic. Not as disabled as your brother, but it was still a giant hurdle for him growing up.

    A guy that works at my organization - I've never met him because it's a big place - was hit by a train last month. While he will likely recover somewhat, they doctors don't believe he'll ever be 100% and getting back whatever he can will be thousands of hours of physical and mental therapy, possibly surgeries, etc. He's lucky in the sense that we have pretty good coverage, but his family is in Ohio and they've been staying in NYC for a month, not working, until he can be transported back to a local hospital

    What the tea baggers don't understand is that this is a "there but for the grace of God" situation that can come into any of our lives any day.

    I wish your brother well, and I'm glad he has what sounds like a great family.
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    Mar 19, 2010 2:56 AM GMT
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  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 19, 2010 2:58 AM GMT
    Thanks guys. I'm feeling better now that I got all of that out there. I just hope someone gets something out of this rant besides me.

    "If you cannot accommodate someone with a disability, that is your disability."
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    Mar 19, 2010 3:04 AM GMT
    I grew up with a schizophrenic. He had one life of live like the rest of us and that's the life he got. At 27, he wrote "I dont think I will ever be like other people." Imagine having to come to that realization. If he missed his bus, he just sat there for however long until someone realized he was missing and went to get him. He had an imaginary State Trooper to guard him. An imaginary wife he talked to thru the radio.. She earned $150,000 a day.

    Once my mom shut the front door to the house and he went bezerk because his wife was standing at the door. Once my mom faked a call from President Clinton to get him to go to the hospital when he wouldnt go otherwise...and even a guardian can no longer put a totally bonkers person in the hospital, even for his own good.

    He lived 20 years longer than the life expectancy of someone in his condition, because he was cared for at home, first by his mother, then by his sister.
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    Mar 19, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    Your posts are always so thoughtful and gentle that when you blow your top it gets a lot of attention! You're right, of course, and its a great post. So sorry about your brother losing his job at the hospital. That's very unfair.
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    Mar 19, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    antelope saidYour posts are always so thoughtful and gentle .....

    Oh you dont know him like I know him...THAT DCEeicMAN would not even turn around to see Hermione Gingold! I'm serious. He wouldnt. Not even turn in his seat. What can you say about a person like that!

    Ok rant over...we return you to the normal scheduled program. ... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 19, 2010 12:37 PM GMT
    Thanks folks.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Mar 19, 2010 12:42 PM GMT
    You can imagine my pride in my youngest brother who ran for local office in 2006 after growing up with a learning disability and graduating high school with a trade (welding, which he is very good at).
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    Mar 19, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing this with us. I think people often forget how lucky they are just to have their health.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 19, 2010 12:59 PM GMT
    Thanks, Mr Eric, for reminding us about some of the important things many people have to deal with every day of their lives. It does remind of us that reality isn't
    "buff bodies in the gym" everyday or parties or social gatherings. Its hard work and dedication (which most of us here have everyday), but most of us don't have to live with the difficulties that your brother indeed does.... thanks for reminding and sharing.
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    Mar 19, 2010 1:08 PM GMT
    Great post.
    Your are proud of your brother, and it shoes.
    From what you told us, he deserve it.
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    Mar 19, 2010 1:29 PM GMT
    My heart goes out to you and your brother but what they did to your brother wasn't fair. Under most circumstances, I tend to do everything by the book or policy. So if the hospital had an absency policy, I understand their position, however I think they should make an exception. Not because of your brother's disability but since he proved his worth as a valued employee.
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    Mar 19, 2010 1:47 PM GMT
    Ugh - I just looked at that link DCEric. What's with equal rights and the determination of some people to ensure, given the opportunity, that others can't have them?

    Looking at some of those tea people;it's pretty obvious a cardiac episode or stroke is going to level the playing field for more than a few. Then they'll be demanding those same rights...if they can talk.

    Apologies for being so harsh, but I'm more than a little appalled.

    -Doug

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    Mar 19, 2010 3:30 PM GMT
    Best and most appropriate rant I've read in a long time, even my own pitiful rants. This kind of discrimination gets such little attention, sad considering the huge numbers that you pointed out.

    Perspective is something that we (including myself) often lose when we go about our daily activities.
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    Mar 19, 2010 10:23 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidpeople_clapping_smaller.jpg


    is it bad i think that girl on the right is hot? icon_redface.gif
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    Mar 19, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    Oh trust me, DCEric. I'm not going to say "I'm sorry" about your brother OR his disability (WHAT disability?! I'll get to that in a moment.) Instead I'm sorry that you used your brother's disability to put a spotlight on yourself and cry for sympathy even though you don't want it but still thank everyone?! No, no, no. No sympathy for your brother at all. It's you, buddy.

    I cannot help but feel that you are prejudiced toward your brother for his "said" disability. You mentioned that he graduated from high school, went on to college, got a physical labor-intensive job and bought a condo. You should be PROUD of the fact that he is a self-sufficient, able-bodied person who can hold his own. There are fully-functional people out there who can't even do that! Personally, I do not see the point for you to mention his "significant but not so severe" disability. (I'm actually confused by this.)

    You also mentioned that he is incapable of getting dates because women seem to think "he walks funny", "he talks funny", "he can't hold a deep intellectual conversation", etc. ((Before I get into this, I have to say that I cringed for your brother when you divulged such pragmatical views about his dating problems to a public form. Criiiiiiiiiiiiinge!) Now let me remind you that just about everyone dump their dates for the same reasons as the above, disabled or not! I do, however have to wonder if the women actually said that to him or you OR you came to that conclusion on your own. I pray that it is NEITHER case. But if it is the former, I hope that you corrected them by saying that they are not "perfect" enough for him AND you (don't forget, once hitched, the family comes with the package). If the latter, then I suggest you get off your high horse and look at your brother and yourself for who you both really are. People with flaws, that's all. Don't think your brother is defective and you're not. (Although I have to thank you for the reminder that our lives and our health can be compromised at any given moment.)

    Now that I'm off the rant. Let me clarify that I do understand your CONCERN for your brother's well-being. Certainly, we can all understand your anger with the hospital's decision to terminate your brother's employment despite his exemplary record. We can also understand your worry for your brother who now has to find a job during the recession. In fact, some of us can empathize with your brother and thousand others who are in the same boat.

    So what's a bro to do? Keep your eyes open if a job opens up and forward it to him. Help him financially if you're able. Let him move in with you if he cannot keep up with his payments. Take him out, buy him a beer or two. In other words, let him know that you got his back every step of the way like brothers should.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Mar 19, 2010 11:24 PM GMT
    ... this could not have come at a better time, yet I feel empty inside.
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    Mar 19, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    This makes me even more glad I decided to volunteer at the Special Olympics this summer. I'll be feeding the coaches and workers for a couple weeks at work too.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 19, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    creyente saidThanks for sharing this with us. I think people often forget how lucky they are just to have their health.


    Yeah I agree but also having one's health is not enough really.

    You also mentioned that he is incapable of getting dates because women seem to think "he walks funny", "he talks funny", "he can't hold a deep intellectual conversation", etc. ((Before I get into this, I have to say that I cringed for your brother when you divulged such pragmatical views about his dating problems to a public form. Criiiiiiiiiiiiinge!) Now let me remind you that just about everyone dump their dates for the same reasons as the above, disabled or not! I do, however have to wonder if the women actually said that to him or you OR you came to that conclusion on your own. I pray that it is NEITHER case

    People are like that though. For example, if a guy is not tall enough a lot of girls will reject him for other taller guys.
    If the guy has a physical disability then a lot of girls are going to be turned off by it.

    Well if the mind is 'flawed' in that he can't hold a deep intellectual conversation, what is left?..

    See how valuing someone for what is on the inside is really just as superficial as valuing someone for what is on the outside? It's all about reducing a person down to some desirable quality or qualities instead of just taking the person for who and what they are, desirable or not.

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    Mar 20, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    DCEric I don't mean to sound cynical about your brother's "said" disability, but I personally now people with much severe handicaps, where they have to be physically and emotionally monitored by others in order for them to survive!! so be thankful that your brother apparently is able to look after himself. If I were in your shoes I make sure to look after him 24/7. The least your brother needs right know is pity or to put him on a pedestal! I can assure you that love and companionship is what he needs most from you right now.


    Leandro
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 20, 2010 12:15 AM GMT
    Yeah I have a few learning disabilities and I do my best to keep up but it gets hard some times, I was elected as student body president and they (the teacher and staff) tried to get me to step down so that someone with a "better learning ability" could use the opportunity. And I stayed. But they made my life hell with all the fucking speeches I had to write! And there are lots of other things that I've been through but tell your brother to keep fighting!
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    Mar 20, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    I can appreciate the need to rant every now and then. But I'm not sure why you're telling all of us to "STFU." None of us fired your brother.

    That said, it sounds like they were looking for some excuse to fire him. And yeah, probably because of his disability. Because they're jerks. And I can see why you, and any decent person, would find that outrageous. Particularly since he had a spotless work record.

    To be treated so unfairly has got to be difficult for your brother. I hope he's handling it OK and finds a job soon where he's treated with respect and paid well for his work.