Sexual Performance Anxiety?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2010 7:43 PM GMT
    I know this topic might seem kinda funny or what not. I just hope RJ takes this thread seriously icon_smile.gif

    Have you ever met a guy you really really are attracted to and when it comes down to sex, you can't get a hard on and can't perform? Perhaps this performace anxiety is due to your desire to please the guy you are with?

    If you have never encountered this, would it be a deal breaker for you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
    Absolutely, that's why I stick to ugly dates....are you listening EB? .... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    yes... when I was younger I would and it happened once with my ex... it doesn't happen any more though, I"m pretty confident in bed and know what I'm doing.
  • sliyah

    Posts: 37

    Mar 21, 2010 12:59 AM GMT
    that happened to me once,he was so stressed ,he couldnt control his desire and the anxiety to please .. so it end up to be a 2 min performance icon_eek.gif .. i think if its persistent ..it could be a deal breaker.. because in the end you need to feel good after sex,not always sorry about his performance
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    That is why I am the top . I always get off .
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 21, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    Never happened to me and certainly not a deal-breaker if it did.....there are many more interesting and fun things to do....19.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:08 AM GMT
    i have post sexual anxiety i always fear i got an STD even if i used protection...

    but speaking of not getting hard i noticed my bottoms never get boners when i screw them and its wierd i feel like im not doing it right... icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:11 AM GMT
    waxon saidbut speaking of not getting hard i noticed my bottoms never get boners when i screw them and its wierd i feel like im not doing it right... icon_redface.gif

    Lots of bottoms don't get hard but still enjoy it.. you just have to trust them when they let you know your doing it right.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 21, 2010 1:13 AM GMT
    waxon said

    but speaking of not getting hard i noticed my bottoms never get boners when i screw them and its wierd i feel like im not doing it right... icon_redface.gif


    Hmmm..How long does your foreplay last?....How attentive to his needs are you before....during.....and especially after? 106.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    malefeet saidHmmm..How long does your foreplay last?....How attentive to his needs are you before....during.....and especially after? 106.gif

    okay, that's just pfffft right there.. I gotta have a say about this.

    Some bottoms just aren't hard when you have your cock inside'em, it doesn't matter how awesome the foreplay is, it doesn't matter how perfectly you press those buttons, it doesn't matter how perfectly you rock there world, they just don't get hard with you inside of'em..

    While we all want guys who are pornstars who can apparently be rock hard in seconds, ejaculated multiple times, stay hard for hours, never make a mistake and cum like niagara falls, the fact of the matter is, that life isn't like that..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:33 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    waxon said

    but speaking of not getting hard i noticed my bottoms never get boners when i screw them and its wierd i feel like im not doing it right... icon_redface.gif


    Hmmm..How long does your foreplay last?....How attentive to his needs are you before....during.....and especially after? 106.gif


    well when i come im done no more play for me, and im not too attentive to my bottoms they can just jerk off while i pound em
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    I've learned my body isn't sexually responsive. Fun! It's been a deal breaker for other guys with me, which is understandable. You can romanticize that it's not a big deal and not something that necessarily jeopardizes a relationship, but good luck finding a guy willing to forego the sexual aspect of a relationship.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 21, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    malefeet saidHmmm..How long does your foreplay last?....How attentive to his needs are you before....during.....and especially after? 106.gif

    okay, that's just pfffft right there.. I gotta have a say about this.

    Some bottoms just aren't hard when you have your cock inside'em, it doesn't matter how awesome the foreplay is, it doesn't matter how perfectly you press those buttons, it doesn't matter how perfectly you rock there world, they just don't get hard with you inside of'em..


    I can agree with this...which is why a decent amount of foreplay is essential. After all, you don't want the guy to feel just like a slab of meat or that he is being used...you want him to get as much if not more out of the joining as you do. icon_idea.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 21, 2010 2:08 AM GMT
    waxon said

    well when i come im done no more play for me, and im not too attentive to my bottoms they can just jerk off while i pound em


    A very insensitive way to look at it....icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    waxon saidbut speaking of not getting hard i noticed my bottoms never get boners when i screw them and its wierd i feel like im not doing it right... icon_redface.gif

    Lots of bottoms don't get hard but still enjoy it.. you just have to trust them when they let you know your doing it right.


    Truth. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 5:56 AM GMT

    " LOL,,, at some point if you meet someone that does stay hard while you are "pounding em" it's kinda fun to hold off till they say they're close and just cum together. Makes for two very happy campers and both feel satisfied."

    WORD!

    Great topic!
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Mar 21, 2010 6:38 AM GMT
    How about you guys that have had sex but starting with a guy that hasn't for the first time? Has that caused anxiety or create anxiety?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 6:40 AM GMT
    malefeet saidyou don't want the guy to feel just like a slab of meat or that he is being used...you want him to get as much if not more out of the joining as you do. icon_idea.gif

    I ask you.. What is wrong with being a slab of meat?? is it so bad to be used?? I've never minded it... *whistles* hehehe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 6:53 AM GMT
    Back to the topic.. I have had some experience with performance anxiety. Mainly nerves.. but once you start to notice it happening, it makes it happen faster, then you're so embarrassed you some times can't get back on focus. Even if your partner says they understand, or acts cool with it, it doesn't matter. Still feels like shit.

    Only thing that helped me was just.. time becoming more comfortable with my partner. Then it was never an issue.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Mar 21, 2010 7:50 AM GMT
    Yes, yes.....Once I was so attracted to this guy. I pursue him. We get into a passionate kiss in the car and he promise to take me to his apartment latter on. Finally, when the opportnty arises. I failed to get it up. Its go embarassing .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 1:55 PM GMT
    yeah had that problem with an ex. i think it was a combination of alcohol, him not really moving during sex and mostly my attraction to him. i was incredibly attracted to him and i guess put him on this unattainable pedestal, i don't know what i was thinking, but i masturbated to his image and funnily enough it solved the problem! getting used to being near hotness lol. it's happened before on two occasions before that too, it's a bit embarrassing but it happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 2:35 PM GMT
    jim_e saidyeah had that problem with an ex. i think it was a combination of alcohol, him not really moving during sex and mostly my attraction to him. i was incredibly attracted to him and i guess put him on this unattainable pedestal, i don't know what i was thinking, but i masturbated to his image and funnily enough it solved the problem! getting used to being near hotness lol. it's happened before on two occasions before that too, it's a bit embarrassing but it happens.



    This is a big truth I've heard from many over the years, and in one relationship I was in, my partner suffered this (and I have to tell you that it was very very flattering to me once I understood why he couldn't get it up. Me, hot. Who'd a thunk it!) So I suggested we get off just watching each other, one at a time, and I gave him a few racy pics of me to take home and play with. Bingo!

    (...and just so you know, that relationship ended over our differing views on euthanasia)

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    Here's the truth...
    So I was super attracted to this guy two days ago and have been on many dates so naturaly it was time for sex. That same night I had alot to drink, which i think contributed to my lack of performance. I am soo incredibly attracted to this guy, but I just could not get it hard no matter what I did. As a bottom, it is really not that important, but he couldn't even suck me off cause I was so soft. I am a believer that sex in the early stages of dating somoene is super critical and should be explosive.

    I dunno, I want to sit here and blame it on the booze and after doing research, I have found that booze can lower performance in men. And when I think about my past, this was the first time I ever had sex while being semi drunk...... What do you guys reckon?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 3:42 PM GMT
    Aggieboy saidHere's the truth...
    So I was super attracted to this guy two days ago and have been on many dates so naturaly it was time for sex. That same night I had alot to drink, which i think contributed to my lack of performance. I am soo incredibly attracted to this guy, but I just could not get it hard no matter what I did. As a bottom, it is really not that important, but he couldn't even suck me off cause I was so soft. I am a believer that sex in the early stages of dating somoene is super critical and should be explosive.

    I dunno, I want to sit here and blame it on the booze and after doing research, I have found that booze can lower performance in men. And when I think about my past, this was the first time I ever had sex while being semi drunk...... What do you guys reckon?


    I'll be honest...I can't do it when I'm drunk. Lightly buzzed maybe, but anything past that and it's just a waste of time. Even with guys that I've been insanely attracted to...it just doesn't happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 21, 2010 3:43 PM GMT
    lol! Bill and I knocked ourselves out trying to climax when drunk.

    -Doug