Mulitple, or one at a time?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 22, 2010 7:17 PM GMT
    What's your take on dating in the early early phases of meeting? Do you go on dates with different guys, or are you classically serially monogamous (i.e. you go on a date with one guy, and don't date other guys until you've decided whether you want to be in a relationship with that one guy or not)? And if you date multiple guys at a time (not all on the same date!) at what point do you narrow down to one guy (if at all?)
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 22, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    classically romantically serially monogamous 71.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 22, 2010 10:44 PM GMT
    I date as many guy as are interested in me but I am very communicative about dating multiple guys.
    Every once in a while one guy will stand out and I'll wean off the others to focus on him. It depends on the guy and the timing. I think it is ok to date multiple guys if you are just getting to know each other, but I can't seriously date more than one guy.
  • Nicobx15

    Posts: 54

    Mar 22, 2010 11:05 PM GMT
    The $64,000.00 question!

    I've always been a "date one person at a time" kind of guy! I mean, if we go out on a fun/good date, then I want to go on another date with the same person and continue to get to know them.

    Having said that, as I get older, I can see the benefits of dating more than one person at once...keeps yourself open to possibilities, keeps you growing as you learn your personal likes and dislikes in a person and keeps things more casual, less pressure.

    No matter how I try to answer the $64,000.00 question, I always go back to the "one at a time" dating experience. Being single, I guess it hasn't been very successful lol so maybe I should try multi-dating?

    Seems like a lot of work....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 12:23 AM GMT
    Before my current relationship, I tended to date exclusively once we got past the third date or so. I figured at that point, there was at least a chance it could lead to a long term relationship. Besides, I always thought it would be too exhausting to try to juggle multiple boyfriends!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    bryanc_74 saidWhat's your take on dating in the early early phases of meeting? Do you go on dates with different guys, or are you classically serially monogamous (i.e. you go on a date with one guy, and don't date other guys until you've decided whether you want to be in a relationship with that one guy or not)? And if you date multiple guys at a time (not all on the same date!) at what point do you narrow down to one guy (if at all?)


    i would say the shotgun rule. shoot only one at a time. try for farther and the shells dont hit anyone. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    Casual dating i perfectly fine. I've known several people who have done it and I don't see anything wrong with it. Dating is very much like applying for a job and usually it requires an interview. When you are jobless you apply for several jobs at a time and get interview to see how things go. It's the same with dating.

    If it's a casual thing then I say multiple is fine since it's nothing serious and it's pretty innocent. if you find that one person who you want to get serious with then you upgrade and calm themas your BF. Til then you are just testing the water til you get a nibble.
  • chris_dallas

    Posts: 340

    Mar 23, 2010 2:58 AM GMT
    dating multiple at once gets sooo complicated and ppl seem to get hurt i kinda made the mistake of doing tht once lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 3:01 AM GMT
    Some people only date one at a time. Great.
    Others date multuple people. Great.

    As long as everyone is being open and honest there shouldn't be a problem.

    I am currently casually dating a few people. And if one of them likes it enough, then they better put a ring on it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    ... dating?
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Mar 23, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    TrowelMonger said... dating?

    good point. well-said and all that.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Mar 23, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    In my 20s I went through a period where I'd meet two interesting guys around the same time over and over. Around the time I realized it wasn't really going anywhere or not compatible with either of them, I'd call stop, wait a month or two and bam, meet two more within the same week again. they guys were vastly different and I'm pretty sure I was trying to figure out what 'did it for me', what I was looking for in a bf. Finally, the chemistry with one was strong enough to focus on it. Shame he turned out to be a pathological liar. icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 8:34 AM GMT
    here I was thinking with a lot of gay guys there was no such thing as a second date!

    But I've had one guy in my life for 20 years, and another for just over 10, until he was murded.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 8:39 AM GMT
    I play the field, so multiple...however...if I am really interested in thguy, especially from first meeting him, I would kinda back off on everyone else and focus more on the "prince charming" in question, and when I play the field, I like to keep it more pg, maybe pg13...in other words, I don't fuck them or jerk them off, I just maybe do a kiss on the cheek, hand shake, hug. I am no slut, just like to keep my options open...putas...lol!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 8:47 AM GMT
    I just go with the flow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2010 7:17 PM GMT
    I will meet multiple guys for coffee and casual stuff (meet and greets, hang outs) but if it progresses to any kind of intimacy, I'm monogamous.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 23, 2010 7:43 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidSome people only date one at a time. Great.
    Others date multuple people. Great.

    As long as everyone is being open and honest there shouldn't be a problem.

    I am currently casually dating a few people. And if one of them likes it enough, then they better put a ring on it.



    AAHahaha very nice icon_cool.gif
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    Mar 23, 2010 7:52 PM GMT
    bryanc_74 saidWhat's your take on dating in the early early phases of meeting? Do you go on dates with different guys, or are you classically serially monogamous (i.e. you go on a date with one guy, and don't date other guys until you've decided whether you want to be in a relationship with that one guy or not)? And if you date multiple guys at a time (not all on the same date!) at what point do you narrow down to one guy (if at all?)


    Well it all depends on my mood at the time and how invested in the guy I am. Sometimes if I feel too invested I will go on dates with other people in order to give myself perspective. It doesn't mean that I am sleeping with all of them, I only sleep with the one I am in fact interested in. I narrow it down when it becomes clear to me that the relationship is getting to a more serious stage, usually after we've had a define the relationship conversation (DTR). If at that time he suggests that he wants a monogomous relationship that is more serious, then I sever all ties with anyone besides him. Provided I of course am in the same emotional place. If I'm not, I don't want to lead him on, so I end it with him.