YOUR BUILD: OWN IT or ON LOAN?

  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 24, 2010 2:50 AM GMT
    OKAY, so since so many people speak in 140 characters or less, I'm trying this again with an edited version. *sigh* (does nobody read anymore?) One of the biggest surprises of reclaiming my gym-life (see profile for details) is that I’m looking at a completely different body type emerge from the rubble, AND, a completely different view of other men's bodies.
    I’ve also discovered that my body wanted something bigger for a long time, and I had to cross over into middle age to get it. I feel as though this thicker, heavier build was always at the core of who I was, but I wasn't really capable of owning it. I feel much more “at home” now in the slowly emerging fire-plug frame my trainer is guiding me toward, than I ever did before (lean, ripped, 130 lbs.) It’s quite odd, at times, and yet tremendously satisfying.

    The bigger surprise is that my attraction to other body types has broadened. I think it has to do with having moved further away from objectifying men and paying much closer attention to how they inhabit the body they’re in. I find that some men here, who call themselves “beefy’ or “average” are actually more powerful and sexy and physically attractive and appealing than men with what would typically be referred to as “hotter” looks, or thought of as being in better shape simply because the latter don’t really own it. I am still addicted to muscle, but power - the underlying strength of that muscle - is a hell of a lot sexier on some "beef" and "average" Joe's than it is on a considerable percentage of the ripped and ready among us.

    The question to the other men here is whether or not you feel like the build you have (or have in mind) is something you own or just something you inhabit because you like the look? And has anyone else had a similar shift in your perspective of other men and body types as you come closer to "owning" vs "borrowing" your build?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    My body is mine and I love it, I know what I'll be eventually and I'm excited by it, but also enjoying what i have right now..

    The types I'm attracted to though is so about as broad as the horizon..

    however, I have developed an interest in guys who are physically smaller then I am.. Plus this fascination with necks.. I dun know what thats about, possibly because I don't have one hahahaha
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 24, 2010 4:24 AM GMT
    My Body and I have come along way and I'm very happy with the way I have progressed :-) but I know I still have a ways to go until I'm where I want to be. The best part is I can see already see my body taking the shape I want it to and going to where it needs to go. :-)

    You have some of the best posts, just a little long sometimes icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 24, 2010 4:35 AM GMT
    I'll wait for the Readers Digest version JK icon_smile.gif
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 26, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    BUMP
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Mar 26, 2010 12:38 AM GMT
    I think mine might be a loaner. I have a gut feeling that at some point, I'm gonna get lazy (or be in a super cozy relationship) where my fitness might take a backseat. But for now, it's top priority, and keeping in shape is keeping me pretty entertained.
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    Mar 26, 2010 12:39 AM GMT
    I love my body. It's healthy.

    My mother survived breast cancer. My sister was just diagnosed with cancer today.

    I'm lucky - so far. I take care of myself because you never know what tomorrow may bring.
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    Mar 26, 2010 12:45 AM GMT
    I have gotten more comfortable and accepting of my body as I have gotten older. Although I still want to look good, my workout routine is now mainly focused on keeping muscle mass and trying to stay healthy rather than chasing after some elusive ideal of perfection. I'm not perfect and I'm okay with that.
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    Mar 26, 2010 12:54 AM GMT
    I totally get what you’re saying.
    While in my 20’s I was so not owning; in fact, I had two mortgages. After too many years in foreclosure, I am now free and clear.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 26, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidI totally get what you’re saying.
    While in my 20’s I was so not owning; in fact, I had two mortgages. After too many years in foreclosure, I am now free and clear.


    Oh, man, I so hear you, Dustin! icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 26, 2010 12:58 AM GMT
    meh Im ok with it, although I wouldnt mind gettin in better shape Im just goin to enjoy once I feel Im ready to start takin my body serious :i
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    Mar 26, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    hmm so interesting...yeah I know what you mean...well, looking back on my teenhood I realize now that I totally abused my body, not that I have any regrets - I did have a blast experimenting with various..stuff, but find as I'm getting older I'm definitely more in tune with it and have definitely kinda grown in to it...I very much enjoy it & admire it actuallyicon_razz.gifno not in a narcissitic kind of way but more of an appreciation of all it's abilities/capabilities & all it's done for me. I thank it by giving it good conditioning & taking good care of it and in return, it thanks me back by looking the way it does ! We both like it icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 26, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidI think mine might be a loaner. I have a gut feeling that at some point, I'm gonna get lazy (or be in a super cozy relationship) where my fitness might take a backseat. But for now, it's top priority, and keeping in shape is keeping me pretty entertained.

    I could totally handle you with a tummy *nods* hahaha although you'd be burning waaaaaaaaaaaay to many calories to worry!
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Mar 26, 2010 11:12 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    jlly_rnchr saidI think mine might be a loaner. I have a gut feeling that at some point, I'm gonna get lazy (or be in a super cozy relationship) where my fitness might take a backseat. But for now, it's top priority, and keeping in shape is keeping me pretty entertained.

    I could totally handle you with a tummy *nods* hahaha although you'd be burning waaaaaaaaaaaay to many calories to worry!

    This might be a reason to call it a day and give up right now.
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    Mar 26, 2010 11:35 AM GMT
    Things change. Having been repossessed a few times by fate, I'm just seeking a long term rental.
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    Mar 26, 2010 12:06 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidI totally get what you’re saying.
    While in my 20’s I was so not owning; in fact, I had two mortgages. After too many years in foreclosure, I am now free and clear.



    Yea this is me. Well maybe had just one mortgage in my 20s. icon_smile.gif The influence all the physical changes have had on the rest of my life were unexpected and I'm loving it. I consider my body a constant work in progress right now, kind of a hobby with huge rewards.

    And it's also true that I've come to appreciate different body types in others. Not different I guess, just more of them.

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    Mar 26, 2010 12:44 PM GMT
    I'm 53 soon. I get out of the shower some mornings and glimpse myself in the mirror and have to say "Damn! You look good!" icon_twisted.gif
    Egotistical? Maybe. But since I never liked my physique before, I don't think it is. icon_cool.gif
    It took me some time before I learned to love myself. And from what I've read in some forums on here, a lot of these guys still don't love themselves. And if you think preening in front of a mirror for an hour or 2 and wearing the latest designer fashion while you cruise all the bars, smoking like a freight train, using alcohol and pills to numb your pain is 'loving yourself', you're headed for a severe crash.

    Point is, I OWN my body. I don't work out at a gym. I have some weights at home that are usually dusty. I do a Yoga routine every morning, I eat sensibly and hardly ever drink anything other than water, Iced Tea and Diet Coke....in that order.

    As I changed my self-view, my view of what I found desirable has changed, too. Once, I was sexually attracted to a very muscled body..and usually found the axiom "Body by Gold's Gym, Brains by Mattel" to to oh-so-true!
    Now, just because I have some major hunks hotlisted doesn't mean that I would trade my husband for any one of them!

    "There is nothing wrong with window shopping. Just as long as you don't try on everything you see!".

    Congrats, MuscleComeBack, on your comeback!

  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 26, 2010 7:36 PM GMT
    Thanks, Studly. It's a process.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 26, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    Sometimes I look in the mirror and really can't believe it. How did this 150 pound geek from high school turn out this way. I love it, but with the changes comes changing fitness requirements that must be a part of everyday living. Its exciting, rewarding and challenging all at once!
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    Mar 26, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    A few months back, I left a sport's doc's office diagnosed with triangular fibrocartilage complex and ITB syndrome. Doc said I had to lay off the weights and running for about 6 weeks. Those six weeks off allowed me to reevaluate my fitness priorities.

    Before my injuries, the build I was going for was the typical well-built, well-defined physique you see on guys in porn flicks. That was my goal because I liked the look. I was never anywhere near my goal, but as I inched closer to it, I never really felt that the bigger body I was slowly building was "me". As an ectomorph, I had to cut down on running (my real passion) and eat two horses a day just to keep the weight on. I viewed the smaller not-so-muscled guys at the gym as something inferior to the muscled alpha males.

    I'm slowly easing back into a regular exercise schedule, but this time, I'm emphasizing the running and agility over the vanity muscles. As such, I plan on spending much more time outdoors running and less time in the weight room. I'm a small guy, and I'm okay with that because it gives me an advantage in what I love to do: running. It's caused me to not have such a negative eye for men with smaller (though still fit) builds.
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    Mar 26, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    gah!

    I've been bigger, I've been smaller, but I have never been as happy as I am with what I'm seeing right now.

    I am certainly striving for the body I see on other guys at the gym. I'd feel lost if I didn't see someone I'd like to become, but as of right now, I'm pretty happy with my progress.

    And that's just what it is...progress. As far as I can see, I don't think I'll ever be 100% satisfied. I'd get bored almost immediately.

    I like envy, I like striving, I like staring and I like lusting...it's what keeps me running on that fucking treadmill...
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    Mar 26, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    I am owning it. I am loving every aspect of the changes my body is going thru and am totally excited for more! I accept that building my body will always be a work in progress but I will love it in every stage.icon_biggrin.gif
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Mar 26, 2010 9:42 PM GMT
    jeffy87 said...this time, I'm emphasizing the running and agility over the vanity muscles. As such, I plan on spending much more time outdoors running and less time in the weight room. I'm a small guy, and I'm okay with that because it gives me an advantage in what I love to do: running. It's caused me to not have such a negative eye for men with smaller (though still fit) builds.


    This is so good to hear from someone as young as you, Jeff. I don't mean that in a condescending way, so please don't take it so. I think you'll find that as you mature into your 30's and then 40's your body will shift. Plus, all the time you'll have put in running will be mature and more powerful muscle. Owning something so completely now, and not having to wait to learn that lesson later...well, I envy you. I think you'll be surprised at how much more attractive this makes you to other men, in turn.