I can actually think of far more reasons NOT to have sex when one is first meeting than to just go ahead and do it when one is actually potentially interested in an extended relationship with someone else
There are many things one may (though no guarantee, I suppose) find out through the course of meeting someone several times before "doing it".
- STD history (hey guys - there's a wealth of things beyond HIV!!)
- mental instability
- incompatible aesthetics
- inappropriate public/social behavior
- poor hygiene
- general honesty
- general intelligence
- ability to share
- ability to be openly communicative
- etc., etc.
So - granted - many of these are issues that one will find out more-so in the course of repeated meetings whether there's sex involved or not, but some of these could easily be revealed in the first few meetings that may cause one to re-consider, or assure one in physical follow through.
That said, my longest/most significant relationship happen to involve sex on the first DATE - but that was a few days after we'd initially met at a bar. I didn't go home with him the first night, and in the interim we talked a bit on the phone (which went really really well...) and it was revealed that we had mutual friends and associates. We both just lucked out.
I'm not arguing that one cannot have a successful relationship if sex is involved on the first date (or night met, I suppose) but am saying there are just as many logical reasons not to do so
. One thing that can be a factor is the concept of self control for both parties - which could indicate their partner might be less inclined to just jump in the sack with anyone they might randomly meet. Right??
I am also realizing/re-discovering that if I like someone and I have sex with them/spend the night, I am more likely to have expectations of follow though/repeat scenarios, and when that doesn't happen, I am more likely to feel hurt/used/rejected than if we'd just talked/had coffee, etc. But that's me.