Can having a beautiful body be a bad thing???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
    My bf and I have very different sex drives and he says he knows I love him for him, but I want sex to much.
    I just cant help it, I have always been very sexual.

    At the same time, his body is beautiful to me and I want it all the time. He says he grew tired of guys wanting him just for his body and sex, he wanted someone to love him for him. He feels I really do love him and I do!! If something happened and he didnt look like he does or whatever the case I would love him just the same.

    My question is for those that have beautiful, cut, ripped, muscled bodies and have worked so hard for them, does it ever make you wonder if someone will love you for whats on the inside and not just whats on the outside?

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    Jan 23, 2008 12:47 AM GMT
    Absolutely. It really does get tiring being handsome and fit and hearing it all the time. The person knows it already. Keep it to yourself.

    If he says you want sex too much, he is also saying you are not engaging him on other levels. Look to satisfying his needs for intellectual, social, and laid-back time, too.

    Read this: http://www.realjock.com/topic/87578/
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    Jan 23, 2008 1:00 AM GMT
    We have talked over and over about it and have compromised on the issue. He is a great guy. We do all kinds of things together and I dont bring it up much like I used to and it has made things alot better.

    Sometimes its hard to understand that someone wouldn't want others to want them that way and I almost find it funny.

    I was curious if others on here felt the way my bf has and how they handled it?
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    Jan 23, 2008 1:29 AM GMT
    Poses the immortal Derek Zoolander:


    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?"
  • bigtallguy

    Posts: 243

    Jan 24, 2008 4:33 AM GMT
    redbull,
    I think you should probably post some pictures of your man's beautiful body so we all can have a better idea of what you're going through.


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    Mar 05, 2008 2:30 AM GMT
    We all want to be thought of as physically attractive. But that only goes so far. If you only get people who want you for the physical, you end up very unfulfilled, or looking for more and more people to fill you.

    An attractive body is almost like bait on a hook. We get good bodies/faces in order to get someone to bite. After that, we want someone who will stick around to be reeled in, not just take the bait and leave. Someone who will appreciate the physical, but also love us for that individual spark that is inside each of us.

    Do something every once in awhile to let your boyfriend know that you love who he is not just what he looks like, and I'll bet you'll get all the ass you want.

    ~Alex
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    Mar 05, 2008 10:03 AM GMT
    zdrew78Poses the immortal Derek Zoolander:


    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?"


    icon_lol.gif

    kencarsonAn attractive body is almost like bait on a hook. We get good bodies/faces in order to get someone to bite. After that, we want someone who will stick around to be reeled in, not just take the bait and leave. Someone who will appreciate the physical, but also love us for that individual spark that is inside each of us.


    Nicely said! icon_biggrin.gif Exactly.
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    Mar 06, 2008 12:02 AM GMT
    Sedative14 said[quote][cite]zdrew78[/cite]Poses the immortal Derek Zoolander:


    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?"
    [/quote]

    But really. Inquiring minds want to know. icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 06, 2008 12:51 AM GMT
    When I was single, I had guys come onto me in bars because of my looks, and usually I could sense that is all they were really interested in. Since I was interested in a relationship I didn't always take up the offer.

    In my teen years I was ignored for not being attractive, so I found being sexually attractive far preferable, and never complained about the attention!
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Mar 06, 2008 1:02 AM GMT
    I have a beautiful body, and it's not a bad thing, so long as other guys keep their hands off.

    I'm talking about my partner icon_smile.gif Well, you said "having" and I "have" my partner, so I do have a beautiful body icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    i dont really think its a bad thing, but it has its turn downs...

    for instance, at times i wonder if people talk to me because of me...like would i be treated differently if i did not have my looks? or would i even have friends?

    It gets to act all self protecting when meeting guys, thinking that they dont really want to know me...

    but thats just me icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    Sorry, this is gonna be long:

    Of course it can be a negative. I wrote something about this recently. The fact is that when you fall on either side of the spectrum, where you're considered "ugly" or "beautiful" you will never quite be treated as a human being by the majority of people.

    It all deals with shallowness. In all honesty, there is nothing wrong with appreciating and being sensitive to beauty, but most people simply cross that line into shallowness and that's when it becomes a problem.

    I used to be horribly overweight most of my life so I know what it's like to be on the end of the spectrum where people consider you "ugly." I have also been in the other side of that spectrum where I've been labeled as "good looking" (and really, it's just a label some people have put on me, not the way I see myself). And the treatment is basically the same: no one takes the time to get know what is behind that image.

    The only difference is that when you're considered "ugly" (and I put the word in quotations because it's not really a word I think has a true definition) people treat you with rejection. When you're considered "good looking" people just want you for a single night. Of course that doesn't apply to every person you run into. There are those with enough strength of character to search into someone else's personality, ideals, etc.

    It's a bit depressing because the fact of the matter is that while looks are important on some level, it's even more crucial to be open to what is behind it. The person beneath the outer image is the most important part of it all. Shallowness is a curse upon the world that keeps us as human beings from ever exploring anything too deeply or experiencing things on a more fulfilling level.

    I know people that don't understand how or why my friendship circle is so wide and includes so many different people from so many different walks of life. All I hear from these negative people is something along the lines: "why are you friends with such-and-such? He's so ugly" or "yeah, he's hot! Totally worth keeping in touch with." And I sort of just tell them: "He's a good PERSON; you'd know that if YOU weren't so focused on what they looked like and made an effort to get to know them. Your'e missing out on a great friendship and great lessons they can teach you."

    I learned to see value in every human being. Sure, you can't fall in love with everyone and sure there are some that never stop pushing your buttons, but every has something to teach us and when we let the focus fall purely on looks (whether the person is "hot" or not), we miss out on that.

    I say, there are disadvantages to being considered "beautiful" as much as there are to being considered "ugly." So be whatever you want to be, because at the end of the day the people that really matter will love you regardless. That's real and genuine.
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    Mar 14, 2008 8:43 PM GMT
    yeah, i hear that alot too kharlo - working in clubs, the stuck up people criticize me for talking to the regular people and the regular peeople take offense when i talk to the pretty boys and the pretty boys act like i'm lowering myself to talk to older guys and older guys laugh smugly in my ear at everyone for being naive and etc. ad nauseum...

    i think everyone has a need to be superior to someone else and it gets expressed in gay arenas most clearly in the looks department. i personally feel that i'm pretty average (no, that isn't a contradiction coming from the person who starting the "i'm fucking fabulous!" thread - i AM fabulous, but i also know that i'm not all that), so i wonder if people talk to me at work only because i'm already in a state of undress and they presume i'm thus an easy lay (which some days i am)? walking around nearly naked opens you up to getting attention from people who aren't necessarily attracted to you but presume that step one (getting undressed) is already accomplished so why not take a swing at steps 2 and 3? i feel like i get treated like the lotto - you don't win if you don't play, but you don't wanna buy too many tickets... people dream of alot of return for very little investment.

    i can't speak for other adult entertainers, but i end up feeling like everyone wants something from me, even when i'm not at work, without considering whether or not i consider myself to be the same person outside the club (which i'm not - i use a stage name... devon's never had a bad day in his life and would never write the shit on here that jack does).

    coming back to your question: is it a pain in the ass to be attractive because you don't know if someone likes you or your looks? yeah, i imagine it is. just like it'd be difficult to be rich and date as well. or powerful. or in any other position of privelege.
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    Mar 14, 2008 9:02 PM GMT
    True, but you could probably more easily hide money and power than you can physical looks. So I think in this case it's a bit harder.

    I do agree though that people have an inner need to feel "superior" but I think that it also relates to insecurity. I think it's just something we have to work through. You can't rid yourself of all insecurities, but you can definitely better yourself. Once you have a higher purpose for your actions, you just no longer are really bogged down with what other people are doing. I can't remember where I read it, but I read something along the lines of:

    "I spend so much time bettering myself that I have no time to critize and demean others."

    And it's sort of true here, I would think. I just think that in general, when you learn to accept yourself for what you are and to accept your own potential as a human being, the world becomes limitless and then you just no longer have the need to be shallow. Everything takes meaning, the world doesn't seem to black and white, and you're not really judging things anymore purely on the outside but as a complete with all the sums of its part.

    I just think that once you're secure enough, there is never a need to demean someone else or a need to try and make yourself feel/appear superior (but as you pointed out, most people never grow secure enough).

    Sorry, I know I type a lot, LOL. This is just an issue that hits very close to home for me.
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    Mar 16, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    Kharlo109 saidSorry, this is gonna be long:

    Of course it can be a negative. I wrote something about this recently. The fact is that when you fall on either side of the spectrum, where you're considered "ugly" or "beautiful" you will never quite be treated as a human being by the majority of people.

    It all deals with shallowness. In all honesty, there is nothing wrong with appreciating and being sensitive to beauty, but most people simply cross that line into shallowness and that's when it becomes a problem.

    I used to be horribly overweight most of my life so I know what it's like to be on the end of the spectrum where people consider you "ugly." I have also been in the other side of that spectrum where I've been labeled as "good looking" (and really, it's just a label some people have put on me, not the way I see myself). And the treatment is basically the same: no one takes the time to get know what is behind that image.

    The only difference is that when you're considered "ugly" (and I put the word in quotations because it's not really a word I think has a true definition) people treat you with rejection. When you're considered "good looking" people just want you for a single night. Of course that doesn't apply to every person you run into. There are those with enough strength of character to search into someone else's personality, ideals, etc.

    It's a bit depressing because the fact of the matter is that while looks are important on some level, it's even more crucial to be open to what is behind it. The person beneath the outer image is the most important part of it all. Shallowness is a curse upon the world that keeps us as human beings from ever exploring anything too deeply or experiencing things on a more fulfilling level.

    I know people that don't understand how or why my friendship circle is so wide and includes so many different people from so many different walks of life. All I hear from these negative people is something along the lines: "why are you friends with such-and-such? He's so ugly" or "yeah, he's hot! Totally worth keeping in touch with." And I sort of just tell them: "He's a good PERSON; you'd know that if YOU weren't so focused on what they looked like and made an effort to get to know them. Your'e missing out on a great friendship and great lessons they can teach you."

    I learned to see value in every human being. Sure, you can't fall in love with everyone and sure there are some that never stop pushing your buttons, but every has something to teach us and when we let the focus fall purely on looks (whether the person is "hot" or not), we miss out on that.

    I say, there are disadvantages to being considered "beautiful" as much as there are to being considered "ugly." So be whatever you want to be, because at the end of the day the people that really matter will love you regardless. That's real and genuine.


    wow.......you are right on target........ugly or beautiful, the reaction and the result is the same....,society will treat you differently...and when I say society, I don't mean some abstract thing....Take it home guys and think about it
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    Feb 10, 2009 5:04 PM GMT
    Yes it does make me wonder. I have met guys, and been in situations when the guy is totally turned on by my body. However, often I sense the guy would like to think he sees beyond the physical and see me for who I am, not an object.

    More often than not, the guy can't get past the physical, even though he tries hard.

    Most of the time I shrug it off, but sometimes it can be tiresome and annoying to listen to the bullshit and to realize that someone is not telling me the truth, EVEN though they think they are telling me the truth.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Feb 12, 2009 5:04 PM GMT
    I would love to be good looking and i would consider it as a blessing.
    I am average looking now I think... Some call me cute ... I dont know what to say about that :p
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    Feb 13, 2009 7:13 PM GMT

    I am very muscular and keep myself in shape When I was in my 20's..it just came naturally. That being said... ..I am not a pretty boy...more 'guy-type'..masculine..hairy'....so now... guys either find me very sexy or not....no prob!!!!!!
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Feb 15, 2009 5:50 AM GMT
    I'll let you know when i have one. Somehow i don't think i'll mind.
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    Feb 15, 2009 7:12 AM GMT
    I think when I was overweight I would've killed for that kind of attention, but now I see it for what it is. I think Kharlo's post sums it up beautifully.