I really thought this was going to be a post about a BF who just cheats on his respective BF ... But this is a real addictive problem if he's been going to therapy for it and continues in the behavior you've got to treat this with as much seriousness as an addiction to alcohol and drugs
You Cannot allow him to manipulate you sexually
Because he is...... By him telling you that you don't do this right and not working on and being in your sex life he's making it ok to go out and have sex with other men Why are you putting yourself through this? He's putting You in danger Making you feel less than sexually and cheating on you to boot
Just like with alcohol and just like with drugs You need to sit him down and say I'm sorry that I wasn't clear with you before but I wanted to take the time to clear the air If you want to be with me you'll need to know that this behavior has to stop Period
I can understand trying to work out the sex addiction thing but writing about it AND insulting you shows how much respect and love he has for you. Definitely on the Douche nominee list. I had kind of the same problem with the same amount of time (10 years). The fact that he tried to kill me didnt change my feelings for him. We no longer speak and it WAS hard but...look at the cons. There is life after 10 years.
If that isnt reason enough:
Herpes AIDS ANAL warts Genital warts Syphilis Gonorrhea
Do you think he has enough respect for you to wear protection? If he has a sex addiction I am guessing it is more of a turn on to go bareback and probably swallow. We will be your support.
If I were in your position, I'd tell him I love him, support him and hope he is able to overcome his issues. I'd tell him I'll be his friend, but not his partner since he is clearly unable to be anyone's partner right now.