My friend...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2010 4:29 PM GMT
    So I need your advice on what to do in my situation. I've been good friends with a certain person in college for about a year now. I came out to him and he knows that I like him a lot. Unfortunately, for the past week he has been avoiding me and telling me he's not drinking anymore after some things happened. Over the past couple of months, there have been about five instances on weekends where he has been drunk with me. The first couple times, he just slept in my bed, we spooned, and I gave him backrubs. The next time, he started giving me back and stomach rubs. Finally the last couple of times he literally called me over to his bed and started rubbing my face sexually and staring into my eyes. He held me close to him with his face right up against his (his lips touching mine)...this led to me and him dry humping each other, me literally sucking on his neck, and me jacking him off. I was such good friends with him and it sucks that he is not talking to me like he used to. I figure I just have to wait for him to come back around but I'm just confused and hurt because he was such a good friend (still is but it's just not the same when he doesn't text as much or ever come over like he used to). He's never had a gf, yet claims he is absolutely straight and always has to point out hot girls on tv and such. He always brings up the fact that I'm gay and it's just not right-- society will hate me and such. I'm pretty sure he's in denial but idk, do straight guys do this stuff? Will he ever come around to accepting himself if he is gay?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2010 4:47 PM GMT
    this reminds me of that South Park episode when Kyles dad & Stans dad fapped each other in the hot tub lol

    anyways, sounds to me he was just curious...then again he might be in denial :i... I suggest givin up on this guy & look for one who is honest & comfortable with himself...not one who is deep in the closet becuz honestly, you're just wasting your time :d
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2010 4:49 PM GMT
    IsmeIvan1990 saidthis reminds me of that South Park episode when Kyles dad & Stans dad fapped each other in the hot tub lol

    anyways, sounds to me he was just curious...then again he might be in denial :i... I suggest givin up on this guy & look for one who is honest & comfortable with himself...not one who is deep in the closet becuz honestly, you're just wasting your time :d



    HAHAHAHA I actually had to look up "fap." Here's Urban Dictionary's definition:

    The sound made when you jack off.

    *Fap fap fap fap fap*
    Fred: Hey, whats going on in there?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2010 5:26 PM GMT
    Normal is some level of leaning more one way than another, but, often, not 100%.

    Whether a picture-less, a closet case, etc...some folks just don't like themselves in a way that allows them not to sweat the small stuff like sexuality. It's just sexual preference, and, not a huge deal.

    If your buddy isn't talking to you, ask him why. DOH. If your buddy won't talk to you, then, move on. It's his problem; not yours.
  • ajw18

    Posts: 141

    Mar 27, 2010 8:29 PM GMT
    I had a similar situation. If he is in denial or was just curious (and is curious no longer), you need to let him know that you miss the friendship. Assure him there will be no funny business. If he should initiate playing around, then call him out on it.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 27, 2010 9:07 PM GMT
    Aww I'm sorry this kind of happened to me but we stopped being friends all together and we no loner speak not even on Facebook and we were BFF's icon_sad.gif but now that I look back on it I'm glad as hell we're not friends I don't need someone to judge me and bring me down.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2010 9:41 PM GMT
    I think you should just tell him how you feel.
    Tell him that you like him but that you also miss him as a friend.
    Tell him that you are happy (if you are happy for that to happen) to do whatever he wants - whether it be grow into something more or stay as friends.
    You need to be firm with him and tell him he has two choices - either go back to how you were, or aceept whatever feelings he has, and work on them (whether its his sexuality, or your relationship)

    hope that helps dude
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Mar 27, 2010 10:48 PM GMT
    Ahh see, this is why I never screw around with my buddies. Even if one is feeling "curious" I say, "You are drunk, go to bed" and laugh at him as I push him back into his bed. Their friendship is worth more to me than the 30 min of fun I could have with them.

    My advice: Be his friend.
    Sexuality is almost never 100%. Tell him this. He's afraid that what you guys did makes him gay which like it or not is a big deal to most. He needs to know that he can talk to you about this kind of thing without you thinking that you are becoming more than friends.

    The other thing he is worried about is you telling people. Assure him that you guys are friends and what ever you guys do or talk about will stay between you two.

    Trust me the friendship is worth getting over the crush you have on him.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 27, 2010 10:54 PM GMT
    DrobUA saidAhh see, this is why I never screw around with my buddies. Even if one is feeling "curious" I say, "You are drunk, go to bed" and laugh at him as I push him back into his bed. Their friendship is worth more to me than the 30 min of fun I could have with them.

    My advice: Be his friend.
    Sexuality is almost never 100%. Tell him this. He's afraid that what you guys did makes him gay which like it or not is a big deal to most. He needs to know that he can talk to you about this kind of thing without you thinking that you are becoming more than friends.

    The other thing he is worried about is you telling people. Assure him that you guys are friends and what ever you guys do or talk about will stay between you two.

    Trust me the friendship is worth getting over the crush you have on him.





    icon_biggrin.gif
    I like you

  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Mar 27, 2010 10:55 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidNormal is some level of leaning more one way than another, but, often, not 100%.

    Whether a picture-less, a closet case, etc...some folks just don't like themselves in a way that allows them not to sweat the small stuff like sexuality. It's just sexual preference, and, not a huge deal.

    If your buddy isn't talking to you, ask him why. DOH. If your buddy won't talk to you, then, move on. It's his problem; not yours.


    Do you even have a soul? To someone who is actually alive, emotions take priority. The "problem" here doesn't belong to just one person. It's a part of both of their lives.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2010 11:17 PM GMT
    it's called the hetro freak out..

    He messed with a homo, he's freakin out thinking he might not be a homo..

    You messed with the un-confident... this is your price
  • awayfromtheci...

    Posts: 154

    Mar 28, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    Space_Cowboy_89 said
    DrobUA saidAhh see, this is why I never screw around with my buddies. Even if one is feeling "curious" I say, "You are drunk, go to bed" and laugh at him as I push him back into his bed. Their friendship is worth more to me than the 30 min of fun I could have with them.

    My advice: Be his friend.
    Sexuality is almost never 100%. Tell him this. He's afraid that what you guys did makes him gay which like it or not is a big deal to most. He needs to know that he can talk to you about this kind of thing without you thinking that you are becoming more than friends.

    The other thing he is worried about is you telling people. Assure him that you guys are friends and what ever you guys do or talk about will stay between you two.

    Trust me the friendship is worth getting over the crush you have on him.





    icon_biggrin.gif
    I like you



    I like him too! Well said
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2010 2:24 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidAhh see, this is why I never screw around with my buddies. Even if one is feeling "curious" I say, "You are drunk, go to bed" and laugh at him as I push him back into his bed. Their friendship is worth more to me than the 30 min of fun I could have with them.

    My advice: Be his friend.
    Sexuality is almost never 100%. Tell him this. He's afraid that what you guys did makes him gay which like it or not is a big deal to most. He needs to know that he can talk to you about this kind of thing without you thinking that you are becoming more than friends.

    The other thing he is worried about is you telling people. Assure him that you guys are friends and what ever you guys do or talk about will stay between you two.

    Trust me the friendship is worth getting over the crush you have on him.


    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2010 2:43 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidAhh see, this is why I never screw around with my buddies. Even if one is feeling "curious" I say, "You are drunk, go to bed" and laugh at him as I push him back into his bed. Their friendship is worth more to me than the 30 min of fun I could have with them.

    My advice: Be his friend.
    Sexuality is almost never 100%. Tell him this. He's afraid that what you guys did makes him gay which like it or not is a big deal to most. He needs to know that he can talk to you about this kind of thing without you thinking that you are becoming more than friends.

    The other thing he is worried about is you telling people. Assure him that you guys are friends and what ever you guys do or talk about will stay between you two.

    Trust me the friendship is worth getting over the crush you have on him.


    Yep, this!

    We're loving DrobUA!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 said
    chuckystud saidNormal is some level of leaning more one way than another, but, often, not 100%.

    Whether a picture-less, a closet case, etc...some folks just don't like themselves in a way that allows them not to sweat the small stuff like sexuality. It's just sexual preference, and, not a huge deal.

    If your buddy isn't talking to you, ask him why. DOH. If your buddy won't talk to you, then, move on. It's his problem; not yours.


    Do you even have a soul? To someone who is actually alive, emotions take priority. The "problem" here doesn't belong to just one person. It's a part of both of their lives.


    Emotions make for bad judgment.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Mar 28, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    chuckystud said
    danisnotstr8 said
    chuckystud saidNormal is some level of leaning more one way than another, but, often, not 100%.

    Whether a picture-less, a closet case, etc...some folks just don't like themselves in a way that allows them not to sweat the small stuff like sexuality. It's just sexual preference, and, not a huge deal.

    If your buddy isn't talking to you, ask him why. DOH. If your buddy won't talk to you, then, move on. It's his problem; not yours.


    Do you even have a soul? To someone who is actually alive, emotions take priority. The "problem" here doesn't belong to just one person. It's a part of both of their lives.


    Emotions make for bad judgment.


    Are you still single?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2010 8:29 PM GMT
    Thanks for all of the input. I saw him today and he told me he's just done drinking for a while but not for good lol. He has also been talking to a girl he met online that lives five states away and is going to ask her to be his girlfriend over the summer. I guess if we drink anytime in the future, I will not let him be curious with me.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 28, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    chuckystud said
    danisnotstr8 said
    chuckystud saidNormal is some level of leaning more one way than another, but, often, not 100%.

    Whether a picture-less, a closet case, etc...some folks just don't like themselves in a way that allows them not to sweat the small stuff like sexuality. It's just sexual preference, and, not a huge deal.

    If your buddy isn't talking to you, ask him why. DOH. If your buddy won't talk to you, then, move on. It's his problem; not yours.


    Do you even have a soul? To someone who is actually alive, emotions take priority. The "problem" here doesn't belong to just one person. It's a part of both of their lives.


    Emotions make for bad judgment.


    Ugh! That is SO true!icon_neutral.gif
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Mar 28, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    mikkeb saidThanks for all of the input. I saw him today and he told me he's just done drinking for a while but not for good lol. He has also been talking to a girl he met online that lives five states away and is going to ask her to be his girlfriend over the summer. I guess if we drink anytime in the future, I will not let him be curious with me.



    That's good icon_biggrin.gif Maybe he's just trying to get his thoughts together and stopped drinking for a bit I hope you guys stay really good friends icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 29, 2010 4:50 AM GMT
    Well the "friendship" is officially over. He told my other friend tonight that he thought I was crazy and doesn't like being seen with me because of what other people will think of him. I told him over text if he didn't want to see me anymore to tell me to my face and I then told him to have a nice life. He sent back "k, but you really should work out all the issues you have in your life." I guess a year long friendship is over, but was he a true friend in the first place, probably not.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Mar 29, 2010 6:14 AM GMT
    mikkeb saidWell the "friendship" is officially over. He told my other friend tonight that he thought I was crazy and doesn't like being seen with me because of what other people will think of him. I told him over text if he didn't want to see me anymore to tell me to my face and I then told him to have a nice life. He sent back "k, but you really should work out all the issues you have in your life." I guess a year long friendship is over, but was he a true friend in the first place, probably not.


    Sounds like he has his own issues to work out. Hope you don't take it too personally.
  • htkhkhya

    Posts: 4

    May 18, 2010 6:05 AM GMT
    Thanks for ur topic, thhis helps me know more about life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 18, 2010 7:47 AM GMT
    never ever fuck with friends of course its not gonna be the same anymore and hes in the closet,if i were you i would look for someone who is out and happy to be gay,wt if he takes yrs to come out,passsssssssssssssss passssssss passssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss