guidojock saidMaybe it's just in the NYC/NJ area but...
It seemed so much easier in the mid-late 90's ...
Even when I ...
My assumption is that...
...does anyone else feel the same or is it just me?
Be careful of taking your anecdotal, non-scientific, statistically biased sample of life experience and projecting it on the world in a grand, but unsubstantiated, theory. I see posts like this over and over here on RJ, and I know people think like this all the time.
But in my somewhat harsh opinion, this type of thought process is only useful for one thing and one thing only: to give you a crutch to explain away a disappointment you're experiencing.
If you were very religious, you might blame a wrathful or vengeful God, or some evil "anti-god."
Reality is much harsher: it's a million billion trillion random processes -- each blissfully unaware of you. In other words, the world is what it is. You can view it any way you want. The world doesn't really give two shits about how you view it.
The radically conservative Muslim will believe that all Americans are out to kill him, destroy his country and religion, and do unspeakable things to his women.
The radically conservative American will believe that all Muslims are out to kill him, destroy his country and religion, and do unspeakable things to his women.
The long-term single gay guy will believe that there's no guys interested in dating, or that everyone just wants sex now, or that guys in his particular city/town/burb/exurb/wilderness/country/demographic/etc. are all unsuitable for him, or that the world has passed him by and that he'd be fine if only everyone acted like it was 10 years ago, or 20, or 30, or if the Internet didn't exist, or if gay bars still existed, or etc. etc. etc.
The happy coupled guy will think all the long-term single guys are somehow too self-centered, trying too hard, looking in all the wrong places, have "what I'm looking for" lists that are too long, or etc. etc. etc.
In reality, it's none of these fantastical theories. It's a million billion trillion random processes. So, my advice?
1) Keep trying.
2) Don't worry about any time line (your 6 single years is going to seem really long to an 18 year-old, but inconsequential to someone like me, who was single until he was 46).
3) Don't get into the trap of a false theory that only serves to make it harder for you to keep trying, or gives you an excuse to give up.
4) Keep dating and relationships in perspective. You as an individual, and your future life, is also infinitely rich with a million billion trillion possibilities. Even if you had "someone special", you still would be exploring some of those possibilities all by yourself, like... ironically... a single guy would.
Good luck, and stay happy. Happiness is a nice feature that attracts dates, I think.