Love is real, but it doesn't always end in forever.
We have all loved-- our families, our friends, our boyfriends.
Obviously, we're talking about "significant others" here, so I'll just give my two cents about that.
I've been in four relationships with guys before that went well beyond just "dating," where I can say that I've fallen involuntarily for someone to the point where, in some way, I've abandoned my own goals. To me, in the past, that has been love.
The first one was the guy who made my homosexuality a reality. I came out when I met him, and I thought he was *the one*. But it didn't last. And I loved him.
The second was the gorgeous guy who lied to me about everything in his life--- he was the model citizen, the doctoral student at Princeton, the lover who knew everything except how to be honest-- he had never gone to college, and I only found out after I lived with him. He was fucking his tennis students while I thought he was at school. I loved him.
The third. He was perfect. Educated, athletic, good looking, sincere. I still talk to him. He was still partially in the closet. It ruined us. I loved him, and I still do, and I always will, but we're not meant to spend our lives together.
The fourth-- I loved him. He loved me, as did all the others. We had so much in common, and yet so little. It was great- we could talk about music, or go hiking, or have phenomenal sex, or drink together, go to the orchestra... we went for a 5 day hike in the Andes to Machu Picchu, and when we got back, he dumped me. It just wasn't right. I loved him.
So now I've been single for three years. I have dated, and I have screwed around, and I have waited.
I recently met someone-- a couple months ago-- in New York City. He lives in Israel. He's moving to the States in the summer. I was happy to meet him as a friend. He's a serious musician and because of this he understands me. I'm even happier to say that I'm going to visit him in Israel. I'm falling for him. I'll see him in a couple of days in Tel Aviv. I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it would work out. It's not about sex. We did that a couple of times, but we've spent hours together on Skype for the past month and a half. He writes me love letters. He tells me he likes my haircut. He smiles with his soul when he looks at me. So do I. I feel more strongly for him than I have ever felt for anyone in the past. He's my soulmate. Love? I won't even say it out loud. Not until I believe that I'm not going to get hurt like I've been hurt so many times before. As he said, though, when we booked the ticket for my visit, "I'm not willing to not take a chance on this."
But, as they say, love never dies. It's always there, and it's real, no matter how you feel it. If it lasts, even better. Don't lose the twinkle in your eyes.
The final verse from my favorite Irish folk song:
Oh, love is handsome,
And love is kind.
It's like a jewel
When first it's new.
But love grows old
and waxes cold,
And fades away
like the morning dew.