Can we still feel romantic as we get older, or do we grow out of those feelings?

  • stonefire

    Posts: 12

    Mar 28, 2010 10:46 PM GMT
    A strange realisation occured to me the other day, when I was younger 20/30's I had typically romantic complicated feeling towards guys , Now as I have got older I'm now 48 , I can no longer get that sense of being suddenly in love or really wanting to be ...that seems to have gone... probably because I realise those simplistic feeling aren't enough . I have other more involved feelings towards those I know and love..but no feeling of romance...it doesn't bother me...Do most gay men grow up /older or stay stuck believing .... I'd be interested to hear other views gs
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    Mar 28, 2010 11:10 PM GMT
    i don't think romance or love has set requirements. the idea of romance changes over time and with experience.

    but i think that you're in your stage in your life that you're content and satisfied that you don't need anything more because you have what you need, which are strong and long meaningful relationships. anything more is a bonus and would have to really make an impression on you in comparison to these relationships you've got.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Mar 28, 2010 11:46 PM GMT
    when people I care about fall in love with someone who loves them back, I get a pretty sappy smile, so I think I qualify as still romantic at my age.
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    Mar 28, 2010 11:58 PM GMT
    I get that feeling too. I sure hope it's temporary, cause falling in love and feeling all giddy is wonderful.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Mar 28, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    48 here....soon to be 49...and I consider myself to be very romantically inclined.....but of course you'd have to ask some of the guys I've dated...icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 29, 2010 1:01 AM GMT
    At 58, I don't have any loss in romantic feelings or desire. I am a lot less inclined to lose my head over an inappropriate man. But when I meet a guy (who is age appropriate...hint, hint) with real potential all the romantic feelings rush right in.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 29, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    I agree with all of the above. Maybe it's something you ate. Kidding. With age, andropause sets in and the interest in sex might diminish, but the need for romance, intimacy and companionship is not going to go away. There are brain disorders though that change people's behaviour and perceptions. Have you notice other changes in the way you interact with the world?
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    Mar 29, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    stonefire saidA strange realisation occured to me the other day, when I was younger 20/30's I had typically romantic complicated feeling towards guys , Now as I have got older I'm now 48 , I can no longer get that sense of being suddenly in love or really wanting to be ...that seems to have gone... probably because I realise those simplistic feeling aren't enough . I have other more involved feelings towards those I know and love..but no feeling of romance...it doesn't bother me...Do most gay men grow up /older or stay stuck believing .... I'd be interested to hear other views gs



    In my experience romanticism is a sure sign of a person's natural inclination and appreciation for love! I have been hurt and disillusioned by so many guys in my life that I should be jaded by now but you know what I am not!! mostly because I have loved and have been loved. Yes, I may be a bit more selective and cautious, but I still believe there is another romantic person just like me out there who knows the feeling of being in love by the little things (that is when romance comes into play) he does to make me feel special. Romance is still alive and well in those of us who knows what reciprocated love feels like!!


    Leandro ♥
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    Mar 29, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    Caslon14000 saidAt 58, I don't have any loss in romantic feelings or desire. I am a lot less inclined to lose my head over an inappropriate man. But when I meet a guy (who is age appropriate...hint, hint) with real potential all the romantic feelings rush right in.

    Yep, I'm still romantic at 61. Not totally goofy or sugary stuff, but definitely romantic. And like the rest of my backwards development, not something I really even had until I came out at 46.

    I had previously tried being romantic with women, but my heart obviously wasn't in it, and they could tell. But with my first gay partner, I discovered what this "love" thing was that everybody was always talking about, that I had never really known before. Teaching me that an essential element of experiencing romance is to experience it with the right person. Perhaps stating the obvious, but sometimes the obvious answers are the ones we overlook or discount.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Mar 29, 2010 2:19 AM GMT
    I actually think we get more romantic the older we get.
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    Mar 29, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    This is a great topic. All the responses indicate that feelings towards love/romance change but don't go away over time. At 56, I'm ready to rediscover love and all the initial insecurities and goofiness that comes with it. One of the other responders mentioned age appropriatness and I agree with him. In out hearts we know that a Spring/Winter romance doesn't usually work in the long term. Maybe a Winter/Fall icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 29, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    Like everything else, they evolve and take on new and different meanings and definitions.
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    Mar 29, 2010 4:53 AM GMT
    Yes we can and no we don't. icon_wink.gif
    You've just become more selective, and none are triggering things right now. How's that?
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    Mar 29, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    It happened again to me a month ago, the most intense version of it yet so far, and I'm 49.

    Maybe the OP just needs to wait a year?

    As for me, I'm channeling Jane Austen, thank you very much.
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    iguanaSF said, "As for me, I'm channeling Jane Austen, thank you very much."

    Lol, totally cool.
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    Your taste has changed over the years along with some many other things in your life. It's only natural that your sense of romance would too.

    Yes, you can still feel romantic as you get older. The question is what you feel romantic for and who?
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidI actually think we get more romantic the older we get.


    Hmmmmmm I am too young for romantic I just get hot and lusty for young guy's like you. icon_redface.gif

    That won't happen until I sigh up for my AARP Card and get the early bird special right Doug and Bill icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:21 AM GMT
    Roccoe, you are such the "dinner and sunset" type of guy followed by hot and lusty activities. icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:42 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidRoccoe, you are such the "dinner and sunset" type of guy followed by hot and lusty activities. icon_razz.gif


    Yeah well I guess it is the tramp in me and when I see a good one it is had to resist!!! icon_cool.gif
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Mar 29, 2010 6:49 AM GMT
    I find that as I get older my emotions are generally more even - I don't experience massive highs or huge lows anymore. It's the same with romantic interest as well. It's not as extreme as it used to be. But I think this comes from the development of a more realistic approach to life. Experience has taught me that that everything isn't as good or as bad as it may have seemed when I was younger.

    I do miss those feelings sometimes. But then, it would be weird at my age to still react to things the same way I did when I was 20.
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    Mar 29, 2010 6:54 AM GMT
    Still get those giddy head over heels teenage no brain feelings - just have learned how to control them and channel them in appropriate ways with a little more circumspection.

    OMG - does that sound boring or what, talk about the antithesis of giddy and head over heels
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    If you are talking about that manic depressive roller coaster feeling, then no, I don't miss it. icon_neutral.gif
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    Mar 29, 2010 5:50 PM GMT
    Death in Venice

    by Thomas Mann
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    Mar 29, 2010 6:04 PM GMT
    The person I'm with has a whole lot to do with the romantic feelings I'm experiencing. I'm far more romantic now - with the man I love - than I ever thought about or imagined being back in my 20s or 30s - even 40s.
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    Mar 29, 2010 6:14 PM GMT
    NNJfitandbi saidDeath in Venice

    by Thomas Mann

    What happens to Aschenbach in Venice could hardly be described as "romantic." Morbid obsession is more like it.