To the OP, I am so with you on this one. I've written posts about it before and really I have tried not to dwell too much on it. But I just have to face facts. Out of all the guys I have been hit on in which I in turn felt some attraction towards in the last 2 years, 80% of the guys were already in a relationship. I could count them off like clockwork because when I did find out they were already in a relationship it was either emotionally devastating to me or just plain perplexing to the point where I still don't know what to make of it.
Please note, these guys came onto me. For some it was just a half hour conversation where they said they were watching me all night, etc; while for others it was two months before I found out about the "situation", lol.
Heath, Memorial Day weekend, 2008. Spoke with him for months on gay.com only to find out he was in a relationship.
"Smoker", forget his name, July 2008, from Manhunt and looking for a relationship. It wasn't until I met him for a date that he told me he was in a 10 yr relationship that is currently sexless. Never dated him again but in October ran into him at the Gay Bowling league with his new lover and later that night they hit on me for a threeway.
"Mike", at a friends party, summer of 2009. Said he has been checking me out all night, knows I'm a vegetarian and what kind of drink I like. Tells me I am so his type, etc. After a half hour while he has my full reciprocal attention his BF walks up and I'm introduced.
Bill, September of 2009, at a local gay event. Did not really hit on me but chatted me up. Always around me when I would turn around. I asked his ex and still good friend about Bill and I was told that he was a very sweet guy and relationship oriented. We hit it off well and went to a few bars together each introducing each other to friends, etc. Found out the next day he is in an ltr with someone from Arizona where his other house is located. Found this out after he did not show up for a date.
Zorro, Halloween 2009, at a friends party. Once again, comes up to me, hits on me, takes my hand and drags me to try something in the kitchen. Takes my hand to take me up to sing karaoke. We sit together to listen to the music. Later, I'm told by my friend that invited me to the party that Zorro is in a relationship with Dracula. We all leave to go to the bar. Zorro and Dracula are totally ignoring me like I'm the one that did something wrong.
I'm going to stop there for now. This has happened to me since Zorro, but I still don't feel like talking about it right now. Believe me, there have been other guys that have hit on me that were in a relationship, these are only the ones that I found mutual interest in.